New Life
by Ashley316
Summary: Pacey deals with the loss of his wife, while raising a daughter. And an old friend comes back to show that life isn't cruel.
1. Default Chapter

New Life  
Try To Say Goodbye   
  
Disclaimer: The characters in my story are not mine, all others are mine. The rest belong to Kevin Williamson and the WB network. I am making no money off this so please do NOT sue me.   
Note: This is purely a what if story. What if in the future this happened. I think that it would be interesting. If you like it cool! If not then that's cool too. Everyone's entitled to their opinion. But either way let me know what you think.   
* * * * * * * * * *   
Pacey sat in his large home staring at his wedding picture. He remembered exactly every detail in her face, her smile, the twinkel in her green eyes. She was so happy. That was probably the happiest day of his life.   
He took another swig from his bottle of champaign, touched the photograph's portral of his wife's beautiful face. It was three months since she died in a car crash.   
He couldn't erase the memory of seeing her lying on the road, from his mind. Veronica was his life, his world. But she was gone and left him with a constant reminder of their love in the child sleeping upstairs.   
He set the picture down and leaned back onto the couch. He placed the bottle on the coffee table and let out a deep sigh. He couldn't get rid of her memory. He loved her so much and she loved him. They thought that nothing could ever destroy their love. But he had never counted on death.   
He heard his daughter crying out for her daddy. Pacey sttod and walked to his daughters bedroom. She was sitting up in her bed crying for her daddy. Pacey turned on the light and walked to his daughter's bed. He sat down and held his daughter in his arms.   
"Hey, what's the matter with my baby?"   
"I had a bad dream."   
"About what?"   
"A monster."   
"A monster, huh?" Pacey pulled her away from his shoulder and wipped the tears away from her face.   
"Yeah, he was trying to get me", she said sniffing.   
"Well, daddy's here now. Nobody's every going to hurt my Samantha. Nobody will harm my little Sam."   
Pacey rocked his daughter in his arms, reassuring her that noone will ever hurt her. He rubbed her long dirty blonde hair. When he pulled her up again, she was asleep. He placed her back under the sheets, and kissed her lightly on the cheek.   
"Goodnight, my Angel."   
He walked back out of the room and turned off her light.   
  
A few hours later, Pacey walked into his bedroom, and it instantly brought tears to his eyes. The room smelled like her, her touch was in every corner, in every drapery.   
He took off his dress shirt and threw it onto the bed. He took off his pants and threw them on the bed also. He walked into the bathroom and washed his face. He grabbed a towel and dried his face off. He placed his hands on each side of the sink and looked down. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath.   
He looked into the mirror, seeing the large black circles under his eyes. He hadn't slept in weeks. He didn't know what to do without Victoria. He knew one thing, he couldn't stay in this house any longer. A move was inthe schedule for tomorrow.   
He walked out of the bathroom and pulled down the sheets to his bed. He climbed in and layed back on the pillows. The sheets smelled like her. He even thought that she was with him sometimes. He could almost feel her with him sometimes. He lyed there, staring at the ceiling. Tears swam in his eyes. He didn't put up a resistance any longer to his tears. He felt lke he had a right to be upset. His wife was taken from him, his daughter's mother was taken from her. She was only twenty- seven, and was unjustly taken away from him.   
He thought for a moment about what his life had been like before he met Veronica. As he remembered, it was miserable and pointless. He didn't have anything worth living for, until he met her. She changed his life. And he wasn't sure if the pain would ever go away.   
He never thought that life could be so cruel. To take away someone who was so good, so wonderful, so forgiving as Veronica. He had found his own personal hell. The only thing he had worth anything was Samantha. She was the only thing of her that he had left.   
He cried himself to sleep. Thinking about Victoria was the only thing that kept her alive. He always dreamed about her. He dreamed that they were just as happy as before, that nothing had changed. He would then see the scene of death and horror that over took him. The scene that always made him hurt inside. His heart would break, his head would hurt. There was nothing he could do to shake the memory.   
He sat up straight in the bed. Sweat pouring all over his body. His hands shaking, he found it hard to breath, he found it hard to see.   
He rubbed his face with his hands. He then realised that the noise he heard wasn't a siren but an alarm. His alarm was sounding signaling that is was time for him to wake up.   
He got out of bed, and walked into Samantha's room. He turned on the light and walked to her bed. He lightly shook her to awaken her. Her little green eyes fluttered open and a smile appeared on her face. "Moring sunshine." "Morning Daddy." "Come on, we have a big day ahead of us. Remember we're moving today." Samantha streched and yawned. She then smiled at her father. The six year old's eyes glowed with unknowing and love. She was a sweet child who knew the rules. She learned a few moths ago that mentioning her mother made her dad unhappy. She knew that her daddy was sad, but she had no idea of the heartache that he was suffering. She too, missed her mother. She missed the way she played with her hair, the way she'd sing to her, the way her mother always seemed to smell like flowers. She loved her mother, but she also wanted to do whatever would make her daddy happy.   
Pacey handed her her cloths. She knew how to get dressed herself. Veronica made sure that she knew how before she was five.   
Pacey walked back down the hallway, into his room. He grabbed a pair of jeans and a white tee shirt and went into the bathroom and took a shower.   
He came out rubbing his hair dry. Samantha walked in with her favorite doll in hand. Pacey walked back into the bathroom and grabbed a hairbrush and a ponytail holder. She sat in front of him and he brush her long curls down her back. He pulled her hair up into a pony tail and kissed her on the cheek.   
Samantha giggled at her father. She hopped off the bed and ran out of the room.   
Pacey threw the towel into a box labeled "Dirty". The looked at all the boxes stacked in his room. He began taking the sheets and comforter off the bed when the doorbell rang.   
He ran down the stairs and opened the door.   
"Hey, man."   
"Jake, thanks for coming."   
"No problem. I brought my brothers to come help us move the big stuff."   
"Great. We need all the help we can get."   
A blonde woman appeared behind Jake. It was Kathryn, Veronica's younger sister.   
"Kathryn. Hey."   
"I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing here? Well, you're about to move, and I won't get to see my neice or my brother-in-law for a while, so I decided to pay a visit. So can I help?"   
"Yeah, you can help Sam. Her packing style isn't the greatest. She has her dresses in a box with her toys. I tried to fix it, but I'm not good at arguing with her."   
"Okay, I'll fix it."   
"Thanks."   
Jake and his four large brothers walked into the house, followed by Kathryn. Kathryn walked up the steps to Sam's room.   
"So, what goes in the truck first?"Jake asked.   
"Get these couches and those boxes. I have some more boxes upstairs that can go in the truck."   
"All right. I think two of us should beable to get these," he said refering to the sofa's.   
"I'm going to finish packing upstairs while you do that."   
Pacey walked back up the steps into his bedroom. Her folded the sheets and stuck them in a box that read "My bedroom". Pacey put his pillows on the boxes that were in the corner.   
He was going to miss this house. She loved the house. It was her obsession to make the house so beautiful that it would take your breath away. And it did.   
  
When everything was in the truck, he stood there in the foryar of the large house, and became very depressed. He was leaving behind a memory that had meant so much to him. Samantha appeared next to him. She pulled on his shirt, and he lifted her into his arms.   
"Daddy? Are you going to miss our house?"   
"Yeah, sweetie I am. But I have you and I don't need this house. All I need is my baby. Are you ready to go?"   
"Yep."   
Pacey turned around took one last look and shut the door. He shut away a part of his life that hurt him. He shut away a part of him that was off limits to everyone except Samantha.   
* * * * * * * * * * * *  
TO BE CONTINUED...   



	2. Chapter 2~After All These Years

New Life  
After All These Years   
Disclaimer: These are not my characters. I do not own them, well not the noticeable ones at least, the rest are from my own imagination, and I don't care if you use them. Note: This is going to be pretty depressing. If you don't like that sort of thing, then I would advise you not read it. But other than that, I have a feeling that it will get better. I also have a feeling that this will be long, extremely long, and it might take a while to be written, so bare with me.   
* * * * * * * * * *   
I try to say good bye  
But I feel so lost inside  
I don't know my name  
And I can't erase what's   
weighing on my mind  
I try to stay awake  
and I'm trying to write the word   
try to write the word good bye  
~Try to Say Goodbye  
~Jory Eve   
* * * * * * * * * *   
Josephine Potter sat down at a nearby table in her restaurant that she bought from Bessie. She had turned the Icehouse into a chain, and was considered one of the best restaurant in all of the northern United States.   
She propped her head on her hand and sat, watching the people that passed her by. The tall brunette, who was always there, a young man and an old woman, must have been his mother, either that or he married her for her money. Joey smiled to herself.   
Suddenly a young boy ran from the kitchen. The boy had a face of innocence and mischief. His large green eyes and his medium blonde hair showed that he looked like his father. Everytime she saw her son she thought of him, or he reminded her of Dawson.   
Dawson left her two years ago for a chesty redhead. She had actually worked for Joey when Dawson and Sofia first met. Joey noticed something was there, she knew deep down that something was going on, but couldn't admit it to herself.   
When she finally put her foot down was when she caught them. She sent him packing, and he took Sofia with him. Joey was in a state of depression for a year before she realized that she was better off without him. She decided to be the best mother for her son that she could, and make her restaurant the best, rather than stay depressed for the rest of her life.   
Her son ran into her arms and held onto his mother. He hid his head in her shoulder and held tightly to her. She pulled him back and looked at his dirty face.   
Suddenly the cook burst out of the kitchen.   
"Okay, Noah, what did you do?"   
"Nothing," he said innocently.   
"Don't lie to me."   
"I didn't mean too."   
The cook walked over to Joey and began, "Do you know what your son just did?" Joey shook her head," He just dumped all the water in the mop bucket into the floor."   
Joey looked at her little boy. The 5 year old couldn't look at his mother. She furrowed her brow, and looked back to the cook. She let out a deep sigh.   
"Seth, will you clean it up? I know that it's not in your job description and if I have to I'll pay you for it."   
"You don't have to pay me, just...please keep him out of the kitchen. All the stoves are on and he might get burned. And I wouldn't want that to happen."   
"Neither would I." Seth walked back into the kitchen and Joey then turned to her son. "I thought I told you to stay out of the kitchen and away from the cooks. I don't want you to get hurt, so please, for mommy, stay out of the kitchen."   
Noah smiled at her, and she smiled back. He was to precious for words. 'How does he do that' she thought. He could be in so much trouble, smile, and get back on her good side.   
Joey hugged her son, and saw a figure that she hadn't seen in years. He stood there, tall and brooding, but with something else. She looked down to see a small child, about the age of six standing next to him, holding his hand.   
They went and sat down at a table in the corner. It was like he was hiding from someone. She stood and grabbed an order pad and walked to the table.   
She wasn't sure if it was him until she got closer. He didn't look the same. Like he wasn't himself. She walked slowly and stood at the end of the table.   
"Well, well, well, look what the cat dragged in!" she said.   
He turned to see Joey standing in front of him. His eyes became as big as his head. A smile appeared across his face and he instantly stood up and embraced his long time friend.   
He pulled away and took a better look at her. She looked the same just with shorter hair.   
"Joey..."   
"Potter."   
"You mean you didn't marry Dawson?" he said perplexed.   
"I did. But he left me."   
"Oh. It's been what...eight years?"   
"Yeah about that long. I must say Pacey, you haven't changed."   
"Neither have you. Same ole' Joey."   
"Daddy."   
Pacey and Joey looked to the little girl sitting next to him. He picked her up and introduced her to Joey.   
"Sam, I'd like you to meet a friend of mine, this is Joey. Joey this is my daughter, Sam."   
Sam held out her hand and shook it.   
"While we're doing introductions," Joey held out her hand and a blonde headed boy grabbed it. "I'd like you both to meet my son, Noah. Noah this is Pacey and his daughter, Sam."   
Noah ducked behind his mother. Pacey and Joey smiled at him. Joey turned around and picked him up. He hid his face in her shoulder.   
Joey whispered in his ear, "Be nice, Noah. If you are, I'll take you swimming tomorrow."   
Noah popped his head up and flashed a smile at the two. Joey laughed. Pacey stared at the two. He looked exactly like Dawson. The resemblance was uncanny.   
He could say one thing for sure, Joey still looked as beautiful as ever. Just a little older, possibly a little wiser.   
"Are you going to eat with us?" Sam asked.   
"Yeah how 'bout it Joey? Old times sake?"   
Joey looked at Noah, he was still smiling, and would probably do just about anything now.   
"Are you hungry?"   
"Mhmm."   
"Well, I guess that's your answer."   
"Guess so."   
The sat down, and ordered their food. Joey told him what happened with Dawson. Pacey thought that what he did was cruel and extremely low class.   
"So...where's Sam's mother?"   
Pacey took a drink of water and swallowed his food. He looked down at his plate and pushed it away. She had asked a very delicate question, one of which would be hard to answer and hold his composure at the same time.   
"Umm...Veronica, her mother...she...uh...she died."   
"I'm sorry. When?"   
"About three months ago. She was hit by a drunk driver, on her way home from the hospital. She was a nurse and worked nights. And the driver hit her head on."   
"I didn't mean to upset you."   
"Daddy, I'm full."   
Pacey turned his attention to his daughter. He wiped her face and her hands. He had finished, Sam smiled at Joey, then at Noah. Joey smiled back and Noah kicked under the table.   
"Noah."   
Noah popped his head back up and sat in his seat right. Pacey laughed at him. His childishness was so adorable that he instantly took a liking to him.   
"So, what are you doing here?"   
"I'm moving back to Capeside."   
"Why? I don't mean to pry, but you escaped. Why would you ever come back?"   
"I...I needed something familiar. Something that...that didn't hurt to see everyday of my life. Something that could give me some sort of...of...peace."   
"So you came home?" She said with a smile.   
"Yeah. So what's your story? I thought you were going to become this huge painter and travel all over the world. What ever happened to that?"   
"Things don't exactly go as planed. I am a painter. It's just...I don't know...I couldn't leave. My home is here. I could have a house anywhere, but your home is where your heart is. Mine seems to always bring me back here. I took it as a sign of fate. That fate was trying to pull me back here. Why, I don't know. But things happen for a reason."   
"Does it not pain you to be here? I mean considering that you and Dawson grew up here together?"   
"Not anymore. It used to. But then I realized that I don't need Dawson. I got the best part of him, and he's sitting next to me," she said as she looked down at Noah, who was smacking on a French fry. "So I figured, it's his loss. I get Noah, and he gets to suffer for the rest of his life by not having the most wonderful being in the world in his life."   
"Wow! You know, you really haven't changed physically, but intellectually you have matured greatly. The old Joey would have slug Dawson and thrown all his cloths out on the front lawn. But, not anymore. You take everything so...calmly. I'm impressed."   
"I'm glad I meet your approval. But, I've learned that dwelling on the past can only bring you heartache. You can't change the past, and even if you could, you'd still be curious as to what would have happened if you had let things run its course. I'm a firm believer in the saying 'All good things come to those who wait'. I'm waiting."   
"Well, I hope you get what you're waiting for."   
"Yeah me too. I had to put up with Dawson's lousy ass for seventeen years, eight as friends nine as a couple, I think I deserve something good. I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Noah, he's the best thing I've got going for me right now, but I want something that..."   
"Takes your breath away."   
"Yeah. I don't know, maybe I'm just being foolish. I mean I'm twenty eight years old, and I'm still waiting for that great love of my life. Maybe I've found him, maybe I haven't, either way I'm still waiting."   
"I found mine. She's not here anymore. You think that nothing could ever harm your peaceful existence, but then...BAM...tragedy strikes, your whole world dissolves around you in a matter of minutes."   
"Joey?"   
"Yeah. What can I do for you Seth?"   
"It's closing time, mind if we ran you and your friend out so we can clean up and go home?"   
Joey looked at her watch. She hadn't realized it was so late. They had spent the last three hours talking. Noah and Sam had even fallen asleep in the booth.   
"Seth, I'm sorry. I hadn't noticed that it was so late. We're leaving."   
"How much is the check?" asked Pacey as he reached down in to his pocket to retrieve his wallet.   
Joey grabbed his wrist and declared, "Hey it's on the house."   
"Come on, Joey. Let me pay."   
"No, I insist, it's on the house."   
Pacey sighed and looked down at his sleeping daughter. He slowly picked her up, so not to wake her. He patted her back and walked out of the restaurant.   
Joey scooped Noah into her arms and made her way to her car. She found the keys in her pocket and unlocked the door. She sat Noah in the passenger seat and buckled him in. She went around to the other side and climbed in.   
Pacey pulled up beside her in a Jeep Rangler.   
"Where do you live?"   
"You're going to laugh, but I live on Windsor. What about you?"   
"You're going to laugh too, but so do I."   
Joey climbed into the car and started it up. She drove out of the parking lot. She felt happier than she had in days. Pacey always made her feel better. What had happened to his wife was tragic. She could tell by the way that he talked about her that he cared very deeply for her.   
Pacey drove down the long deserted highway, thinking about the conversation he had with Joey. She made him see that wallowing in the past only made his pain greater. But it was going to be hard to let her go. He was going to try very hard. He was still going to love her, but not think about her constantly so not to upset Samantha. She was a very special child and loved her so much. She was all he had left of Veronica.   
* * * * * * * * * *  
TO BE CONTINUED...   



	3. Chapter 3~Where You Are

  
Jobsonline.com   
  
  
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[Close]   
  
  
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[Close]   
  
  
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New Life  
Where You Are   
  
Disclaimer: Not mine...wish they were but not.   
Author's Note: Sorry it took my sooooooo long. Writer's block is a bitch!!! But I hope you guys like it. Drop me a line and let me know.   
Props: Props to Stone Cold who beta read it for me. Thanks!!!   
* * * * * * * * * *  
There are times  
I swear I know you're here  
When I forget about my fears  
Feeling you my dear  
Watching over me  
My hope seeks what the future will bring  
When you wrap me in your wings   
And take me where you are  
Where you and I will breath together once again  
We'll be dancing in the moonlight just like we used to do  
And you'll be smiling back at me   
Only then will I be free  
When I can be where you are  
And I can see you face  
Your kiss I still can taste  
Not a memory erased  
Oh how I see your star shining down on me  
And I'd do anything  
If I could just be right there where you are  
Where you and I will breath together once again  
We'll be dancing in the moonlight just like we used to do  
And you'll be smiling back at me   
Only then will I be free  
Then I will be free  
So take me where you are  
And baby there are times when selfishly I wish that you were here with me  
So I could wipe the tears from your eyes and make you see  
And every night while you are dreaming I'm here to guard you from a far  
And any time I feel alone I close my eyes and dream of where you are  
And We will be together baby  
We'll be dancing in the moonlight  
And You'll be smiling back at me  
Only then will I be free  
Then I will be free  
Baby I still believe  
I got to believe  
I will touch you that sweet day  
That you take me there  
Where you are  
I still believe  
I will touch you that sweet day  
That you take me there  
Where you are  
I've got to believe  
I will still be waiting here  
~Where You Are  
~Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey   
* * * * * * * * * *  
Pacey was standing at the front of the church waiting for the best day of his life. The day that the love of his life was going to walk down the aisle and become his wife and stay with him forever. Forever. There was a term that just years before meeting her he never thought he would want to hear. But when he laid eyes on her, he knew that he could never have it any other way. It had to be forever. He had to be with her till he was old and gray. And he was going to be. He loved her more than he ever knew he was capable of loving anyone. Veronica had become the one force in his life that he could always count on. She was his destiny.   
Pacey never knew that love could bring such a wonderful sense of peace to his life. He never knew that someone could complete him the way she had. She was perfect. Their love was perfect. She loved him unconditionally. No questions asked. The same way he loved her. He was going to show her how happy they could be together. Nothing could ever make him quit loving. She was his heart and soul.   
As she walked towards him, he felt himself smile. He couldn't help it. With her approach, all his hopes and dreams were walking with her. His happiness, his need to be wanted, and the need to be loved. She loved him. And he could never see himself with anyone else. Something was out of sort though. He'd seen her veil before, but it never covered her face. Something wasn't right. When she stood next to him, he gently lifted the veil...suddenly, he was no longer in the church.   
Pacey was standing over the battered body of his lifeless wife. Her face had numerous scrapes and scratches, her lips were purple, her eyes...closed forever. There was his forever. His forever was on that table in a sleep that she would never wake up from. He felt his heart melt into his stomach as he saw her perfect body remain still.   
The doctor looked up at him and asked him the question once again. "Is this your wife?"   
He couldn't answer. He found himself unable to form any thought other than the fact that he was never going to come down stairs and find her cooking, or come home and find her sleeping on the couch watching a movie, and he was never going to be able to make love to her again, and Sam was never going to know how very special her mother really was. She was never going to get to know that magnificent person who could make a room light up with her smile.   
He nodded his head, and the doctor once again covered her face. Pacey looked up at the man and saw the sympathy on his face. Pacey felt the tears spring to his eyes. He'd never felt so alone, so lost, so empty. At that moment, his heart died. She took it with her. She was his heart. The only other person in his life that he was able to love beyond that point was his beautiful young daughter, Samantha. How was he going to tell her that her mother was gone and wasn't coming back? How was he going to explain that to her? How was he going to tell her family that their precious Veronica was never again going to be there when one of them had a problem? How was he going to live in that house where every where he turned there would be precious memories of them together?   
Pacey sat up in his bed covered in sweat. He couldn't breath. He felt his tears running from his eyes and couldn't care less. His wife was gone. His love was gone. Pacey saw his door open slowly and a small head popped inside.   
"Daddy," she whispered.   
"Come here baby."   
Sam ran to her father who was crying for reasons she didn't understand. She cried too. She didn't know why she was crying but she was. She saw her dad hurting. She was the only one that ever saw him hurting. He hid it from everyone else.   
He hugged his daughter. He felt her little body tremble as he rocked her slowly. He pulled her away from his shoulder and looked into her eyes. Her little rosy cheeks now had a trails of tears down them. Pacey felt awful. He knew she'd heard him from her room and came to see about him. It happened almost every night.   
"Are...are...you okay, daddy?"   
"Yeah, sweetie. I'm okay. I just needed my baby to hug me."   
Sam wrapped her arms around him tighter. Pacey looked at his bed side table and saw the clock. It was later than he thought. Pacey sat her in his lap and swiped away the tears from her small face. He tried to smile and reassure her that he was okay.   
"It's time for breakfast. You want to get some?"   
"Yes, please."   
"Okay. Go get dressed."   
"I love you Daddy."   
"I love you too sweetie," he said with a smile. She climbed off his bed and ran out the door. Pacey got out of bed and got dressed. He hoped that Sam would be happy here. He hoped that Capeside would bring more happiness in her life than it had in his. For his youth, Capeside had brought it's share of happy times as well as sad times. He was a little relieved that someone from his past was at least around. And what a strange someone! Joey. Of all the people it could have been from his past, it had to be Joey.   
Pacey quickly got dressed, then went to check on Sam. Pacey knocked on her door, "Sam, you ready?"   
"Yep."   
She opened the door and was wearing her ballerina costume. He couldn't help but laugh. She looked so precious.   
"You're going to eat breakfast in that?"   
"Yep."   
"Uh...no. Come on, let's find you something else to wear."   
"But I wanna wear this."   
"I know you do, but you can't get in the McDonald's Play Place in that."   
Her face lit up. "McDonald's!"   
"Yeah. Now will you change?"   
"Yes sir!"   
Five minutes later they were walking out of the house. She climbed into the Jeep and seat belted herself in. Pacey watched her little hands fasten the belt. He couldn't believe how old she'd gotten and right before his eyes. He could still remember her being born and here she was, six years old.   
"Daddy, let's go!"   
"Okay. Calm down, it's not going anywhere."   
  
Pacey and Sam had been there fifteen minutes when he saw Joey and Noah walk in. Joey saw them, the approached, pulling Noah along with her. He was fighting, trying to squirm out of her grip so he could go outside into the play place and go wild. Joey was going to make him eat first.   
"Morning, Jo. Looks like you have your hands full."   
"You can say that again. Stop!"   
Noah quit wiggling and remained quiet.   
"Sam, you remember Joey, right?"   
"Mhmmm."   
"Noah, say good morning to Pacey and Sam."   
He waved slowly. Pacey could tell just by looking at the way Joey handled Noah that at times he was more than she could handle. His resemblance to Dawson still awed him. Same eyes, same hair, same determination.   
"Mommy, can I go play now?"   
"Not until you eat."   
"But I don't wanna eat!"   
"Noah, behave."   
"Please, Mommy. Please!"   
Joey sighed. Pacey could see that she was about to give into him. Noah seemed to be able to manipulate Joey the same way Dawson used to. Dawson could have gotten Joey to do anything if he'd just look at her a certain way. Noah inherited that ability from his father.   
"Noah, you have to eat."   
"But...I don't want to eat!"   
"Fine, I won't feed you later if you're hungry." She released the boys hand and he ran outside.   
"Can I go now Daddy?"   
"Yeah."   
The little girl ran outside following the rowdy little boy. Joey took Sam's seat and propped her head on her hand. She let out a sigh and looked up at her long time friend who was smiling at her.   
"What?"   
"He got a lot more from Dawson than his looks. He has his personality."   
"I know."   
"So..."   
"So, how do you like your new house?"   
"I like it. It's not a home."   
Joey saw Pacey's expression change from goofy to pain. She'd never seen anyone go through such a metamorphosis. She would gladly take the obnoxious Pacey Witter over this hollow shell of a man before her. She would gladly take the boy that used to pull her hair and call her names over the Pacey she saw before her.   
"I know."   
Pacey looked down at his food then back up at her. "Joey, when your...your mom died...what made you so...afraid?"   
Joey thought for a moment. "I don't know. I guess the fact that I would never see her smile, or hear her talk to me again. I didn't know who was going to take care of me seeing as how my dad was put in prison."   
"Then you were with Bessie."   
"Yeah."   
"How is she?"   
Joey laughed. "She's Bessie, what can I say?"   
"So she, Bodie, and Alex are doing good?"   
"Great. Alex, you wouldn't believe how tall he is. He might be taller than you."   
"How old is he now?"   
"Fifteen I think. He's become quiet the little heartbreaker," she said with a smile.   
"So...have you heard from Jen?"   
"Every day. She lives in Chicago with her husband, Nicholas. She's trying to have a baby."   
"Jen's married and she talks to you every day. Pacey Witter welcome to the Twilight Zone."   
Joey laughed. "You act surprised. The only thing that ever kept us from not becoming friends was Dawson. Once those issues were resolved we've been best friends."   
"Things have really changed."   
"Yeah. They have. Take you for instance."   
"Me?"   
"Yeah, you. What happened to the guy that used to call me 'ice queen'? What happened to the guy I used to refer to as 'jail bait'?"   
Pacey laughed. "Those were the days. I really miss them."   
"Me too. But you can't dwell in the past. You have to move forward. Speaking of which, what are your plans for the rest of the day?"   
"I don't know. I still have some unpacking to do."   
"Well, instead of doing that, why don't you and Sam come with us?"   
"Where?"   
"Swimming."   
"Where are you going to go swimming?"   
"In my pool."   
"You have a pool?"   
"Yes. Besides, you know me, I love water."   
"Yeah you do. You did always seem to gravitate towards it."   
"Only when you were around. You always pushed me in."   
"Hey, I only pushed you in twice."   
Joey raised her eye brow. "Okay, four times."   
"Sounds about right."   
"But you got me back for that."   
"How?"   
"You hit me."   
"Yeah, like hitting you is worse than it being forty degrees outside and being thrown into a freezing creek. I thought I was going to freeze to death."   
Pacey just sat staring at one of his oldest friends and feeling the same things he did for her in high school. All he ever wanted her to do was give him a chance. She never did. She was always interested in Dawson and always would be. But, the Joey he saw in front of him was completely independent. She didn't need Dawson Leery or anyone else's help. That was something he'd always admired about her. She didn't need anybody's help. She'd rather do it on her own or die trying. Asking for help was something she was never very good at.   
Pacey suddenly felt this overwhelming sensation of guilt as he began feeling the same things for Joey that he did when he was a boy. His wife, whom he loved more than he ever thought he could ever love anyone, was dead and he was having feelings for another woman. But it wasn't just some other woman. It was Joey. It was the girl that made his hormones as a teenager go into overload. She made him feel like a man. Some thing he'd never felt before he saw Joey in a bikini. And now she wanted him to go swimming with her.   
"So...you gonna come with me or not?"   
"Sure. I'll get Sam and meet you at your place."   
Joey smiled. "Now here comes the impossible task of getting Noah to come out here and eat."   
Pacey stood offering her his hand to help her up. Joey walked outside followed by Pacey.   
"Noah. Come here."   
"No."   
"Come here now!"   
"But Mommy!"   
"Noah, I'm going to count to five."   
"Okay."   
Pacey smiled. The little boy was stubborn. He reminded him of him when he was five. His mother could never get him to mind. He would always do the exact opposite of what he was told. To be young again would mean no cares, no worries, no bills. To bad there was no way to be young again.   
Sam came running out of the play place and grabbed her dad's leg. She looked up at him and gave him the sweetest smile he'd ever seen. She was so cute sometimes that it just shocked him. She had to ability to make him blissfully happy with just a smile. She was his life now. She was his reason for living.   
"Hey Daddy."   
"Hey Princess. Do you wanna go swimming?"   
"Yeah! Where?"   
"At Joey's."   
"Okay. Can we go now?"   
Pacey turned to see Joey putting Noah's shoes on him. The more he watched her the guiltier he felt. He couldn't help it. She could still make him feel all these feelings that were there when he was sixteen. How? Why?   
"Jo, what time do you want us to be there?"   
"In about an hour. You need directions right?"   
"Yeah those would help. That is unless you have big flashing lights that say 'Home of the Ice Queen'." He said smiling.   
"Jerk."   
"Prude."   
"Daddy, what's a prude?"   
Pacey looked down at his daughter, "I'll explain later."   
Joey started laughing, she pulled a pen out of her purse and began writing the directions on his hand. Both Noah and Sam were completely confused. Since the two had seen each other again they were acting strange. Pacey seemed to be a little happier and Joey was happier.   
"Come on Sam. Let's go find our bathing suits."   
"Okay. Bye Noah."   
"Bye Sam."   
"See ya in a few Joey."   
"Yeah. Come on, Noah, let's eat."   
  
An hour later...   
Pacey pulled up to the house at the address that Joey had written on his hand. He grabbed the gym bag out of the back and took Sam's hand helping her out of the car. Pacey's house was pretty big but it was no where near this size. Sam strained her neck trying to look up at it.   
It was a type of colonial house with large white pillars and a large front porch. Above the porch was a balcony that expanded across the front of the house. The house was white with three bay windows. The long brown fence surrounded the pool. The front door were large and mostly glass.   
Pacey and Sam walked up to the front door. He noticed the swing that had hung on their house when he was younger. She took the swing. Joey was always sentimental in that respect. That was the swing that she and her mother used to sit in at night and look at the stars. It was the swing where she cried when her mom died. In every aspect of the word, that was her swing.   
The front door opened to reveal Joey in a black bikini top and cut off shorts. Her hair was pulled into a ponytail with stay hairs having fallen out and framed her face. Her eyes seemed to dance with happiness.   
"Come in. Noah's in the kitchen waiting to go out."   
Pacey smiled. That's all he could do. The last time he saw Joey in a bathing suit they were seventeen and she hadn't completely finished growing. But the Joey he saw in front of him was definitely done growing. The girl...girl nothing...the woman in front of him left him speechless.   
Sam pulled her dad with her, following Joey into the kitchen. The kitchen was huge. Most of it windows. There was a large island in the middle that had a mixer, blender, and a cutting board sitting on it. Noah was sitting at the large table with his wings on his arms. His face lit up when he saw them.   
"Can I go out side now?"   
"No. You have to wait for me."   
"But Mommy...you said I could go when they go here."   
"You can't go without me."   
"Fine," he said stubbornly.   
Joey shook her head and looked over at Pacey. "Just like Dawson."   
Pacey laughed. He nodded in agreement.   
"You want something to drink, Pace? Sam?"   
"I'm fine."   
"No thank you."   
"Can we go now?"   
"Fine. Go Noah."   
Noah open the kitchen door and ran onto the porch. Joey, Sam, and Pacey followed. Sam ran after him and hit the water soon after he did. Pacey watched Sam swim and have fun with Noah. Noah splashed her and she splashed back. She was in ways a tomboy. She didn't really like wearing dresses and if it was a dress with was usually her ballerina costume.   
Joey showed Pacey the chairs and he took the one next to her. He just watched his daughter. She was so cute. Pacey'd taught her to swim years ago. He didn't realize how handy that would come in later. It was a good thing he had.   
"So, is everything the same way you remember it?"   
Pacey looked down and saw Joey settled in her chair. She must have removed her shorts sometime while he was watching Sam. He couldn't find his voice. All he could do was stare at her legs. The guilt was mounting up. He knew that he shouldn't be staring but he couldn't tear his eyes away.   
"A few things have changed." He said letting out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding in.   
"Are you okay?"   
"Yeah. Fine."   
He tried to do something that would allow him not to look at her. Pacey pulled his shirt over his head. Now it was Joey's turn to stare. She only saw bodies that cut on old episodes of 'Baywatch' with David Chokachi. She was in awe. You could see distinctly, ever muscle in his stomach. Joey had to remind herself to breath. It was hard to do with Pacey coming very close to having the body of an Adonis and the face of an old crush. She always had a crush on Pacey, but never told him that. That would have made his head grow about six inches. He was conceded enough without telling him of her secret longing for him. That was just something that would forever remain her secret. There was no need in anyone else knowing.   
"What?" He asked after a minute.   
"Just thinking about how good it is to see you again."   
"You too Jo. I really missed our friendship."   
"Me too, Pace. Me too."   
* * * * * * * * * *  
To Be Continued...   
  



	4. Chapter 4~Friends

font size="6"New Life/font/br  
font size="5"Friends/font  
/center  
phr  
pfont size="2"biDisclaimer: The characters of Joey and Pacey are not mine. They will never be mine unfortunatly. If they were I wouldn't be sitting here writing less that stellar fan fiction. I would be in Wilmington saying that Joey and Pacey is a GOOD idea.  
  
pProps: Thanks to Cassie for Beta reading this for me. I found it.=)  
  
pAuthor's Note: I think that this story has progressed. It's not as good or as far as I'd like to be with it, but it's coming along. And I would like to say thank you so much to all those who have sent me feedback. It has been greatly appreciated. /B/i/font  
  
phr  
picenter  
Bright light almost blinding,/Br  
Black night still there shining,/Br  
I can't stop, keep on climbing,/Br  
Looking for what I knew./Br  
Had a friend, she once told me,/Br  
"You got love, you ain't lonely,"/Br  
Now she's gone and left me only/Br  
Looking for what I knew./Br  
Mmm, I'm telling you now,/Br  
The greatest thing you ever can do now,/Br  
Is trade a smile with someone who's blue now,/Br  
It's very easy just./Br  
Met a man on the roadside crying,/Br  
Without a friend, there's no denying,/Br  
You're incomplete, they'll be no finding/Br  
Looking for what you knew./Br  
So anytime somebody needs you,/Br  
Don't let them down, altho' it grieves you,/Br  
Some day you'll need someone like they do,/Br  
Looking for what you knew./Br  
Mmm, I'm telling you now,/Br  
The greatest thing you ever can do now,/Br  
Is trade a smile with someone who's blue now,/Br  
It's very easy just...ooh, yeah. /Br  
~Friends/Br  
~Led Zeppelin/Br  
/center/i  
  
pHR  
  
pJoey and Pacey sat in the chairs by the pool talking blissfully about the past and of the fun they had when they were growing up. Both agreed that things happened that made their lives harder, but they've come out better people because of it. Joey fully explained the whole Dawson situation and it completely blew his mind that the innocent, modest, little Dawson that was always too afraid to discuss his sex life with him, had cheated on her in her own home. It made him sick. How could he do that? He never thought about other women when Veronica was alive.   
  
pPacey suddenly felt that wave of guilt hit him again. But three months after she died he's fantasizing about Joey. He loved Veronica. He always would. Was it completely wrong for him to find another woman attractive? And the fact that it was Joey wasn't helping matters any. She really hadn't changed much. She had the same smile, a smile that had always warmed his heart in years past. Her eyes were still the same mysterious brown that had captured his attention. Those eyes that could set a man's soul on fire. The same long brown hair. The smoothness of it he remembered. He remembered sitting with her while she cried, smoothing it down offering the little bit of comfort that he could. He hated to see her cry. That was one thing that always infuriated him about Dawson. He could always make her cry. He then looked at the rest of her body. She might have gotten a little taller. Her legs were still the same as he remembered. Long, slender, perfect. Her stomach was flat, her hips were round, and from what he could tell, everything else looked like it filled out quite nicely.   
  
pPacey shook his head a little, trying to shake the thoughts out of his head. He wasn't supposed to have these kind of feelings for a woman ever again. Veronica was his soul mate. With her died all his hope. Or so he thought. Seeing Joey again was like some sort of sign. He knew that it meant something, but what?   
  
pPacey realized that Sam was standing in front of his chair with something behind her back. He raised an eyebrow at her questioningly. She walked up next to his chair and bent to him and kissed him on the nose.  
  
pThe next thing he knew, Sam had dumped a pale of water all over his stomach. Pacey jumped up quickly, grabbing a towel and quickly drying himself off. Pacey saw Sam, Noah, and Joey all laughing. Sam and Noah he let go, not Joey.  
  
p"You think that's funny?"  
  
p"No. I think it's hilarious." She said in between laughs.  
  
p"Sam, can I have that bucket?"  
  
pJoey quickly got up from her seat and backed away from him. "Pacey Witter you wouldn't dare!"  
  
p"Throw water on you? You're right, I wouldn't. Throw you in on the other hand..."  
  
p"You stay away from me!" She screamed still laughing.  
  
pNoah and Sam watched enjoying the fact that someone was going to get thrown in the pool. They looked at each other and then back at their parents who seemed to be acting like children. Sam liked seeing her dad have fun.   
  
pNoah hadn't seen his mom laugh like that in a long time. She seemed so happy. It was about time she started smiling again.   
  
pPacey clasped Joey's wrist in his hand and pulled her towards the pool. She was going into that water no matter what. Joey tried to wiggle out of his hand and almost succeeded until he wrapped his other arm around her waist and picked her up.   
  
p"PACEY WITTER LET ME GO!"  
  
p"Not on your life."  
  
pPacey had Joey at the edge of the pool and set her down. He then gave her a smile and gave the tinniest push. Before he had the chance to realize what had happened, Joey had grabbed his wrist and he was falling in after her.   
  
pPacey came to the surface and awaited for her to come up. She finally surfaced and wiped the water out of her face.   
  
p"Jerk." she said splashing water at him.  
  
p"Me? You pulled me in!"  
  
p"You pushed me!"  
  
p"You laughed!"  
  
p"It was funny."  
  
pThe two kids were sitting on the side of the pool giggling. Joey and Pacey turned around to see what was so funny. They were pointing and laughing and their parents who were acting like three year olds.   
  
p"What are you two laughing at?" Joey asked.  
  
p"You." Piped up Sam.  
  
p"Us?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"Why are we funny?" Pacey asked.  
  
p"'Cause."  
  
p"'Cause why?"  
  
p"You fell in the pool."  
  
p"Oh and that's funny?"  
  
p"Yes."  
  
pNoah then whispered in Sam's ear. She started giggling again. Pacey and Joey just looked at the two confused. Noah stopped whispering in her ear.   
  
p"Mom?"  
  
p"What?"  
  
p"Can they stay for dinner?"  
  
p"Yeah can we?" asked Sam.  
  
p"Sam. You don't invite yourself."  
  
p"I didn't. Noah did."  
  
p"I'm sure they have better things to do than stay here and eat with us."  
  
p"No we don't." Answered Sam.  
  
p"Sam!"  
  
pJoey then turned to Pacey. "Well? Do you want to stay for dinner?"  
  
p"Can we please Daddy?"  
  
p"Depends."  
  
p"On what?"  
  
p"On what you're making."  
  
p"Pasta and meatballs."  
  
pPacey smiled. "What time is dinner served?"  
  
pHR  
  
pAfter Pacey and Sam stayed for another few hours, he finally coaxed her into going home and changing clothes. Sam, after quickly changing, rushed into her fathers room and plopped down on the bed in front of him. Pacey grabbed the comb from his night stand and proceeded to get the tangles out. That was the only bad thing about her going swimming, her hair was always hard to get combed through. He hated doing it too. She would start crying and it made his heart hurt to see her cry.  
  
pPacey finally got through the long dirty blonde hair and braided it. Most of the time he'd just leave it down for her, but she hated wet hair on her face. She then turned around and propped herself on her knees. She smiled at him and started giggling.   
  
pHe couldn't help but smile. "What's so funny?"  
  
p"I was just thinkin' 'bout Miss Joey pullin' you in the pool."  
  
p"Sam that wasn't funny," he said trying his hardest to be stern. He failed. She was so cute when she laughed. Her whole face lit up and it made him feel like he was the luckiest man in the world to have a daughter who was so beautiful and smart and wonderful. He just thanked God that he still had her.   
  
p"It was funny. You should have seen your face..." she did an impression, dropping her jaw in a surprised gesture. He started laughing. She was so precious.  
  
p"You're laughing, Daddy."  
  
p"So are you."  
  
pSam stopped laughing, "Can we go now? Please?"  
  
p"You really like them, don't you?"  
  
p"Yes. Noah, he's goofy. And Joey is funny too. She pulled you in the pool."  
  
p"I think we've covered that."  
  
p"So can we go?"  
  
pPacey snatched Sam off the bed, holding her under his arm like a football. She started laughing hysterically. He carried her all the way out of the house like that. He put Sam in the car, and then gave her a kiss on the forehead.   
  
p"Love you, Daddy."  
  
p"I love you too."  
  
phr  
  
pPacey and Sam once again made their way up the front steps of Joey's house. Noah, who had been watching them come up the walk, opened the front door. An old familiar song was playing through the house. Pacey cringed his face when he realized what it was.   
  
p"Mommy's in the kitchen. Sam, you wanna see my room?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"Come on."  
  
pSam and Noah left Pacey standing in the middle of the living room. He then made his way to the kitchen, where he heard the awful sound of Ricky Martin's "Livin' La Vida Loca" floating through the air.   
  
pPacey peeped into the kitchen and saw Joey, who was singing every word, dancing and cooking at the same time. She looked even better than she did earlier that day. She was wearing a white sun dress with tiny yellow sunflowers on it. She had her hair piled on her head in a bun and was wearing a pair of reading glasses. She wasn't yet aware of his presence so he just stood and watched as she moved across the kitchen in some very salsa like moves. The song soon ended, much to Joey's dismay.   
  
p"Damn."  
  
p"And continuing on with our Latin explosion celebration that happened about ten years ago...here's Rob Thomas and Carlos Santana with SMOOOOOOOTH."  
  
p"I love this song."  
  
pPacey remembered the first time he ever heard this song. The four musketeers, as they began to refer to themselves, were all at Dawson's on the Fourth Of July, laying on the docks, and then they heard that awesome guitar rift that was all his own. And everyone was hooked on it.  
  
pcenter  
iMan, it's a hot one/Br  
Like seven inches from the midday sun/Br  
I hear you whispering the words that melt everyone/Br  
But you stay so cool./i/Br  
/center  
  
p"When did you get here?" Joey asked, bringing him out of his reverie.  
  
p"About the third time Ricky said "Living La Vida Loca". Why?"  
  
p"Just curious."  
  
pJoey took this opportunity to look at Pacey's attire. His black tee shirt clung to his chest, torso, and arms. His khaki cargo pants were tight in all the right places. Seeing Pacey again was giving her the need for a cold shower. Not to mention the thought of him earlier in his bathing suit was still fresh on her mind. She remembered how toned everything was, and it was making her flush.   
  
p"Want some help?"  
  
p"No."  
  
p"You sure? I'd be happy to taste test your sauce."  
  
p"No thank you."  
  
p"Oh come on. Please," he said sticking out his bottom lip.   
  
p"No."  
  
p"Daddy...you should see Noah's room."  
  
p"Why?"  
  
p"Go look at it. It's so cool."  
  
pJoey was smiling at Sam. "Sam, how would you like to be my official taste tester."  
  
p"Hey!"  
  
p"Hey yourself. Go! Get out of the kitchen!"  
  
pJoey pulled up a stool to the island in the middle of the kitchen. Pacey left the two in the kitchen. Joey was still the same. Nothing has changed and he was happy to see it. Pacey made his way up the stairs and soon heard Noah making crashing noises. Pacey followed the sound and soon found himself in Noah's room.  
  
p"Hey, Noah. Whatcha doing?"  
  
p"Playing with my cars."  
  
pPacey then took a look around Noah's room. On one wall, there was E.T. with a flower pot in his hand. On another wall there was a picture of E.T. with a blanket over his head in Elliot's bicycle flying across the moon. On the wall next to Noah's bed there was a picture of Gertie kissing E.T. on the face. And on the wall behind him, Elliot and E.T. touching fingers. Pacey was astonished in how detailed the paintings were.   
  
p"Noah, did your mom do these?"  
  
p"Yes sir."  
  
p"These are great."  
  
p"You like E.T.?"  
  
p"Yeah. Do you?"  
  
p"It's my favorite. I go to sleep every night with Mommy watchin' it."  
  
p"You're mommy really likes that movie."  
  
p"She said it used to be her favorite."  
  
p"What's her favorite now?"  
  
p"Steel Flowers."  
  
pPacey looked confused. 'Steel Flowers'? He'd never heard of it.  
  
p"Steel Flowers? What's that about?"  
  
p"That Shelby girl dies. And those old ladies are always fightin' and there's a dog that's loosing it's hair."  
  
pPacey then realize what movie he was talking about. "Steel Magnolias?"  
  
p"Yeah. She always cries when she watches that movie. Why does she watch it if she cries?"  
  
p"Let me tell you something about the female of the species. They're strange. Why do they watch movies that make them cry is something that no man understands."  
  
p"Why are they strange?"  
  
p"Don't know. That's just what God wanted them to be."  
  
p"Pacey..."  
  
p"What?"  
  
p"Did you know my daddy?"  
  
p"Yep."  
  
p"What was he like?"  
  
p"Dawson...he was a dreamer. He always had big hopes and dreams. He wanted to be a director like Steven Speilberg. And the last time I saw him, he and your mommy were very happy." Pacey paused for a minute. "Does your mom not tell you about him?"  
  
p"No. Everytime I ask he she says she'll tell me later and never does."  
  
p"What do you want to know?"  
  
p"Was he funny?"  
  
p"At times."  
  
p"What does he look like? I don't really remember."  
  
p"He looks just like you. I knew who's son you were when I saw you."  
  
p"Did he like movies?"  
  
p"They were his passion. He really like E.T., but I think that his favorite was the Indiana Jones movies. He liked the action in it."  
  
p"How did you meet my mommy?"  
  
pPacey sat and thought a minute. He hadn't thought about it in a very long time. But now, as he sat there with Noah he remembered clear as day how he met Joey.   
  
piHe was in the sand box when he was about four years old. He was playing with his G.I. Joe's when this brown-headed girl with pigtails walked up to him and sat down next to him in the sand. She was eyeing him strangely, like he had something growing off his face. He remembered smiling at her and she smiled that half smile, for when she got older, it became her trade mark.   
  
p"Hey." he said first.  
  
p"Hey."  
  
p"What's your name?"  
  
p"Joey."  
  
p"That's a boy's name."  
  
p"It is not. It's my name."  
  
p"That's a boys name."  
  
p"What's your name?"  
  
p"Pacey." He said like it was the most common name in the world.  
  
p"What kinda name is Pacey?"  
  
p"A good one."  
  
p"Yeah. Right."  
  
p"Oh and Joey is better than Pacey?"  
  
p"Yep."  
  
p"Your parents must have wanted a boy if they named you Joey."  
  
p"My real name's Josephine. But I hate that so they call me Joey."  
  
p"Oh. You wanna play with my G.I. Joe's?"  
  
p"Yeah."/i  
  
pThere first meeting. It was strange but he remembered it like it was yesterday. The pigtails, the torn jeans, the dirty face. She was tomboy through and through. It surprised him that he could remember every detail of it.   
  
p"So you played with my mommy."  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"Are you going to be here a long time?"  
  
p"Here in Capeside? Yeah."  
  
p"Good."  
  
pHR  
  
pJoey was standing in the kitchen with Sam watching her intently. Joey gave the little girl a smile and she returned it coyly. When she looked at Sam, she didn't really see much of Pacey. She didn't see that happy-go-lucky spirit that was associated to Pacey when he was a child. She did see a lot of tomboy though. She saw this little girl that, at times, probably wished she was a boy.  
  
p"So...can your dad cook?"  
  
p"Yep. He makes good hamburgers and French fries."  
  
p"I bet. Who braided your hair?"  
  
p"Daddy."  
  
p"Really?"  
  
p"Mmmhmm."  
  
p"He did a really good job." Joey stirred her sauce and continued her conversation with Sam. Sam seemed like a very sweet and intelligent child. Joey knew the pain that went along with loosing a mother and she sympathized with the child.  
  
p"Miss Joey, how long have you known my daddy?"  
  
pJoey thought for a minute. Most of her life she's had to deal with Pacey's constant picking on her and always, some how, being there when she needed him. She didn't know how much she really missed having Pacey around until he left and there was no one left for her to talk to besides Dawson.  
  
p"Let's see...I've known your dad for about nineteen years."  
  
p"That's a long time."  
  
p"Yes it is."  
  
p"Did you know him when he was little?"  
  
p"Yes. He always pulled my hair."  
  
p"He did?"  
  
p"Yep. He was really mean to me when we were little."  
  
p"He was your friend?"  
  
p"Yep. It's weird I know but...that's just how we got along."  
  
p"You fought?"  
  
p"All the time."  
  
pSam was quiet for a minute. The child seemed like she wanted to ask something but was afraid to. She started biting on her lower lip and realized that she'd gotten one of Pacey's traits after all.  
  
p"Miss Joey?"  
  
p"Hmmm?"  
  
p"Did you know my mom?"  
  
pJoey wasn't expecting that question. She'd only heard through the grapevine that Pacey had gotten married. She wasn't even invited to the wedding, which in ways, made her think that Pacey wanted to forget anything and everything about his home in Capeside.  
  
p"No sweetie, I didn't. What was she like?"  
  
p"She was very pretty. Her hair was the same color of mine and I have her nose. She was kinda tall and kinda short. She was shorter than you. And she always smelled good. She was nice to everybody. Then she died and left me and my daddy all alone."  
  
p"Sam, I'm going to tell you a secret. Can you keep a secret?" With the child's nod she continued, "When I was thirteen, my mom died too. Except she died of cancer. Do you know what cancer is?" The child shook her head no and Joey took a deep breath. "Cancer is a disease that eats away...never mind. She was the sweetest person in the world and she always smelled like cookies. But then she told me and my sister that she was dying and there was nothing that the doctors could do. About a month later she died. I cried forever. But you do you know who could always make me laugh and cheer up? Your daddy. He'd start singing the most annoying songs and make goofy faces at me and he'd have me laughing in no time." Joey sat down on the stool next to Sam and faced the little girl. "If you ever feel sad or upset, don't let it just sit. Tell your daddy. And if you ever want to talk, I'm hear to listen okay?"  
  
p"Okay."  
  
pJoey smiled. "Okay."  
  
pJoey knew what the child was going through. That feeling of not knowing what the future will bring if it takes away one of the most important people in your world. Why was it always the little children that had to suffer. They seemed to be the ones who delt with everything. But in ways, Joey supposed that it just made them the head-strong adults that they turned out to be. The more she thought about that the more she realized that she was the way she was today because of the things that she'd lived through when she was younger. Pacey too. He seemed very protective of Sam. Probably because of the way his father always treated him badly, he felt the need to compensate that into him raising his own child.  
  
pBut Joey wasn't the type of person to pass judgment onto other people. She out of everyone in the world knew what it was like to have people judge her and tell her that she was doing things wrong. Dawson was one of those people. He always used to tell her what looked bad in one of her paintings instead of what was great about it. She soon learned to despise him for it. She didn't know exactly when it happened but she had fallen out of love with him before she ever caught him cheating.   
  
pThat was what probably hurt her the most. The fact that he didn't respect her enough to keep it in his pants and not sleep with one of her best friends. What really hurt her was that she caught him in her own bed. The image had never been erased from her mind. Dawson had been the only one she'd ever made love to and that didn't seem to matter to him. Joey knew that she would never be able to do something like that to someone she loved and trusted. As much as she grew to loathe Dawson, she never would have considered cheating on him. It never would have crossed her mind. And it never did. And since Dawson there had been nobody worth mentioning. A boyfriend here and a boyfriend there, but none she felt like she care about enough that she would sleep with them.  
  
pAs she stood there cooking, she returned back to the thoughts of Pacey earlier that day. She remembered every muscle in his stomach and chest. She felt a type of heat she'd never felt before. The more she thought about things the more she realized that she'd never been in lust before. And when she saw Pacey earlier that day, she knew that lust was what made her have the thoughts she'd had. It made her feel so...something that she wasn't aware that she could feel. But then Joey felt a twinge of guilt. It was more than a twinge it was more like a huge boulder of guilt weighing on her conscience now. Pacey, who had disappeared in her house, was by no means ready for any sort of relationship, especially one that would inevitably confuse his daughter. That wouldn't help anyone in this situation. And from what she's seen from the way he acted when he mentioned her, he wouldn't be ready for any sort of relationship anytime soon.  
  
phr  
  
pcenter  
To Be Continued...  
/center 


	5. Chapter 5~When I Fall In Love

center  
font size="6"New Life/font/br  
font size="5"When I Fall In Love/font  
/center  
  
phr  
centeri  
When I fall in love/br  
It will be completely/br  
Or I'll never fall in love/br  
In a restless world like this is/br  
Love is ended before it's begun/br  
And too many moonlight kisses /br  
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun/br  
/br  
When I give my heart/br  
It will be completely/br  
Or I'll never give my heart/br  
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too/br  
Is when fall in love with you/br  
/br  
When I fall in love/br  
It will forever/br  
Or I'll never fall in love/br  
In a restless world like this is/br  
Love is ended before it's begun/br  
And too many moonlight kisses /br  
Seem to cool in the warmth of the sun/br  
/br  
When I give my heart/br  
It will be completely/br  
Or I'll never give my heart/br  
And the moment I can feel that you feel that way too/br  
Is when I fall in love/br  
When I fall in love/br  
When I fall in love with you/br  
~When I Fall In Love/br  
~Celine Dion and Clive Griffith/i  
/center  
phr  
  
pOver the next couple of weeks, Pacey and Joey had helped one another out  
with the others kids. Pacey, being a high school teacher and off for the summer,  
watched Noah during the day while Joey was at the Icehouse taking care of the  
business and paying the bills. Afterwards, Pacey would meet Joey and the four of  
them, Pacey, Joey, Noah, and Sam would all have dinner at the Icehouse or one of  
them would offer to cook.  
  
pPacey liked this arrangement. When he was with Joey, he had someone else to  
talk to other than a six year old. And besides that, he didn't feel so alone. He felt  
like there was hope yet. He felt like he could get on with his life. Though it would  
be extremely difficult, he would move on; never forgetting the wonderful woman  
that he still loved and missed everyday, but finding that he could live with  
knowing that she was somewhere better off than she was with him. That  
realization hurt Pacey to no end, but it was better for his wife.  
  
pJoey found this arrangements to have it's benefits. Since Dawson left, there  
had only been a few adults that she talked to. Other than Jen and Bessie, Joey was  
left to have conversations with Noah, a five year old who love cartoons. She loved  
her son, but she needed to have a conversation with someone who was her own  
age and was interested in the same things she was. Finding companionship in  
someone who was five years old and had no idea what the "Breakfast Club" was  
made finding something worth talking about a little more than difficult.  
  
pPacey, Noah, and Sam had just arrived at the Icehouse when Joey was  
showing the plumber the bathroom that had flooded. Her day was not going well.   
One of her waitresses quit, one of her cooks was sick, and she was exhausted after  
Noah had been up the night before with a fever.  
  
p"Hey, Jo."  
  
p"Mommy!" Noah screamed as he ran for her.  
  
p"Someone looks like they're feeling better."  
  
p"Pacey made me soup."  
  
p"Me too!" Sam squealed as her father picked her up.   
  
p"Yeah. Sam made the soup too," Noah said wiping his nose. "And we  
watched...what did we watch again?"  
  
p"Charlie Brown's Christmas. Seems your son has never seen it."  
  
p"I know. On Christmas it's hard enough to get him to sit still five minutes.   
What was that doing on in July?"  
  
p"Christmas in July. I don't know. It was on...they saw Snoopy, and they  
watched it."  
  
p"Oh. Well, you guys hungry?"  
  
p"Yeah. How much longer until you're done here?"  
  
p"As soon as the plumber comes back out and tells my why the women's toilet  
overflowed."  
  
p"Oh...that sounds like it was fun to clean up," he said sarcastically.  
  
p"It was!" she snipped back.  
  
p"Can we go sit down, Ms. Joey?"  
  
p"Yeah, you and Noah go sit in that booth over there. You want something to  
drink?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"Okay, I'll send you something over, okay?"  
  
p"Okay."  
  
pNoah and Sam ran over to the booth and sat down. Joey turned to Pacey and  
smiled. She was too tired for words, and all she could think about was how much  
the plumber was going to ask for.  
  
p"Rough day?"  
  
p"You have no idea, Pacey."  
  
p"Really, I deal with hundreds of know-it-all teenagers for nine months. I know  
what a rough day is, believe me."  
  
p"Yeah. I seem to recall you being one of those know-it-alls in high school."  
  
p"The difference between me and them is that I did know it all."  
  
p"Yeah. Right."  
  
pPacey sat on a stool and Joey followed, resting her head in her hands. "So,  
was Noah a pain today? He usually is when he's sick."  
  
p"Nope. He was good. He fell asleep at about 12 and woke up about an hour  
before we got here."  
  
p"Good. Maybe he'll feel good enough tonight to actually sleep."  
  
p"Was he up all night?"  
  
p"Yes. I feel so bad when he's sick because I don't know how to make him  
well, and he cries, and I hate it when he cries, Pacey."  
  
p"I know. I hate seeing Sam cry. It rips my heart out."  
  
p"Well, who would have ever thought that Pacey Witter and Joey Potter would  
be sitting in the Icehouse talking about the feeling of their hearts being ripped out  
of their chests whenever they see their children crying?"  
  
p"Not me."  
  
p"Me either." She stated. "Oh, Jen's coming to town next week."  
  
p"Really?"  
  
p"Yeah. I told her you were back, so she said she's taking her vacation and is  
dragging Nicholas down here."  
  
p"Good. I miss Jenny."  
  
p"Why do you call her that?"  
  
p"The same reason I called you Josephine. Because it irritates you."  
  
pJoey laughed. "Yes it did. And it still does."  
  
p"So, where are we eating?"  
  
p"I don't know. All I know is that I am not cooking."  
  
p"We could eat here."  
  
p"Pacey, I've been here all day. I would really like to leave."  
  
p"Okay. Wanna go out to eat somewhere else?"  
  
p"Yeah...I guess."  
  
p"Ms. Potter?"  
  
pJoey turned around to see the plumber standing behind her, holding a plastic  
bag. Joey eyed the bag and the plumber oddly.  
  
p"I found this in your system."  
  
p"What is it?"  
  
p"It just appears to be a bag."  
  
p"And that was what caused the toilet to over flow?"  
  
p"No. The things caught in it caused it to overflow, not letting anything past  
it."  
  
p"I don't even want to know what was caught in it do I?"  
  
p"Not really?"  
  
p"Thank you. Come on, I'll get your money."  
  
pJoey hopped off the stool and walked back into her office. Pacey went over to  
the two children in the booth. Sam and Noah were talking about something that  
Pacey had never heard of. He looked around the restaurant and noticed that it was  
very crowded.  
  
p"Daddy?"  
  
p"Yeah sweetie?"  
  
p"Where'd Miss Joey go?"  
  
p"She had to go do something."  
  
p"Are we going to eat?"  
  
p"That's the plan. Why? Are you hungry?"  
  
pShe nodded her head. Pacey smiled at her. "Well, we'll get you fed."  
  
p"I want pizza," Noah exclaimed.  
  
p"You do?"  
  
p"Yeah! I want pizza too!"  
  
p"Well, we'll ask Joey and see what she says."  
  
p"See what I say about what?"  
  
p"Pizza."  
  
pJoey looked down at the two bright-eyed children. Their smiles widening as  
they saw that she was going to give in. She turned to Pacey who was staring up at  
her expectantly.  
  
p"Okay...just as long as there is not fish anywhere in sight."  
  
pThe two children smiled. "Okay, so...who's riding with me and who's riding  
with Joey?"  
  
p"I wanna ride with Pacey, Momma."  
  
p"Okay...so...Sam is riding with me."  
  
p"Okay."  
  
p"So...where are we going to eat pizza at Joey?"  
  
p"Chuck E. Cheese!"  
  
pJoey raised her eye brows at Pacey. He grimaced.  
  
p"Can we eat somewhere that has good pizza?"  
  
p"Aw...come on Daddy," Sam said smiling.  
  
p"Come on, what?"  
  
pSam perched on her knees and wrapped her arms around his neck.   
"Pleeeeeeease?"  
  
pPacey smiled. Joey knew he was going to give in. All Sam had to do now was  
kiss him on the cheek and Pacey was putty in her hands. It was wonderful to see  
him so caring with his daughter. She knew that the more time she spent with  
Pacey and Sam, the more she began to feel like, maybe they were building their  
own type of family.  
  
pJoey watched as Sam smiled at Pacey and then kissed his cheek. "I love you,  
Daddy."  
  
pThat was it, Pacey was now mush. He wrapped his arms around the child and  
kissed her forehead. "Well, I guess that means we're eating at Chuck E. Cheese."  
  
pJoey smiled. Pacey was mush when it came to Sam. She was the same way  
with Noah. It's strange how their children had this control over them that no one  
else was ever able to gain.   
  
p"Okay, Sam, let's go. Leave the boys alone and we'll get there before them."  
  
pPacey smirked. "In your dreams, Potter."  
  
p"Bring it on, Witter," she said with a playful poke to his chest.  
  
pSam and Joey ran to Joey's car. Pacey lifted Noah and ran quickly to his  
parked next to her. Joey was already down the highway before Pacey got Noah  
seat belted in.   
  
p"Mr. Pacey?"  
  
p"Hmmm?"  
  
p"Why did you stop running?"  
  
pPacey smiled. "I wanted to let your mom win."  
  
p"Why?"  
  
p"Because....she's a really sore loser," he said laughing.  
  
phr  
  
pJoey and Pacey sat at the table with the half eaten pizza and a bag of tokens,  
while Sam and Noah were playing games. Joey stared at Pacey's face. He really  
hadn't changed. He still looked exactly the same.   
  
p"Ya know what Jo?"  
  
p"What?"  
  
p"I'm really glad you're back in my life."  
  
pJoey smiled. "I feel the same way, Pacey."  
  
pPacey bit the inside of his lip. Trying to think of what he wanted to say to her.   
There were so many things he wanted to say to her. He wanted to tell her that  
she's still one of the most beautiful things he's ever seen. He wanted to tell her that  
without her help over the last couple of weeks, he would have really had his hands  
full with Sam and life in general. He wanted to tell her that every second he was  
with her and didn't think about Veronica, he felt that much more guilty when he  
got home.  
  
pThe guilt was mounting. He felt horrible every time he looked at Joey as  
something other than a friend. It was like he was dishonoring Veronica's memory.   
He'd never felt guilty about looking at other women when she was alive for the  
thought that he was married and had a beautiful wife to go home to. But now  
things were different. She was gone, and Joey was very much there.   
  
pSam and Noah rushed up to the table with rows and rows of tickets in their  
hands. Joey and Pacey both sat up, eyes wide. They turned to their children, both  
beaming with pride.  
  
p"Sam, how in the world did you win all these tickets?"  
  
p"There's a matching game over there. We matched them all up."  
  
pJoey smiled. "So, you guys want more tokens?" she asked. She looked down  
at her son who yawned. "Or are you guys ready to cash in you tickets and go  
home."  
  
p"I wanna go home, Mommy."  
  
p"You do?"  
  
p"Yes."  
  
p"Yeah...Sam, why don't you and Noah take your tickets up there and get a  
prize okay?"  
  
p"Okay."  
  
pSam and Noah ran up to the counter, both holding their tickets. Pacey turned  
to Joey who was fishing in her wallet. Pacey grabbed her wrist, stopping her.  
  
p"What are you doing?"  
  
p"I'm paying."  
  
p"No, Jo, it's my treat."  
  
p"Pacey..."  
  
pHe stuck up his hand to silence any further protests. "I said my treat."  
  
pJoey gave in. She walked up to where Noah and Sam were waiting to turned  
their tickets in, watching their excited little faces glow. Pacey watched Joey as she  
rubbed Sam's hair. She was so caring with his daughter. He appreciated all the  
things that Joey did to make Sam feel comfortable in a new town.  
  
pPacey made his way over to the three of them and watched Sam and Noah  
stand on their tip toes to see over the counter at the things hanging on the wall.   
Sam got a weird purple monkey and Noah picked a stuffed Chucky Cheese. The  
two children smiled at the adults with pride.  
  
p"Okay, Sam. Tell Joey and Noah goodnight."  
  
p"Daddy, can Noah spend the night?"  
  
p"Yeah? Can I?"  
  
p"No. You've been sick all day. You're going home," Joey said sternly.  
  
pPacey looked down at his daughter, seeing the disappointment written in her  
eyes. But he knew that it wasn't a good idea to let him, although he had been with  
Pacey all day, and seemed to feel much better.  
  
p"You heard, Joey. She said no."  
  
p"Please, Pacey," asked Noah.  
  
p"Please, Daddy."  
  
p"Joey, help me here."  
  
p"Noah. I said no."  
  
p"But mommy. I'm not sick any more."  
  
p"Yeah. He's not sick. Please, Ms. Joey."  
  
p"Noah..."  
  
p"Please, Mommy."  
  
pPacey saw her reserve die, and he knew that Noah would be at his house  
tonight. Pacey smiled as Joey looked at him.   
  
p"You gonna stop by and get some of his clothes?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"YAY!!!" The two children screamed excitedly.  
  
p"Okay. Let's get a move on."  
  
pJoey scooped Noah up into her arms, the child giggled and she smiled down at  
his bright face. She kissed him on the forehead, then set him back down. Pacey  
watched the exchange, never finding Joey more beautiful than when she cared for  
her child or his. There was something about watching her be so motherly to a  
child, and it affected him in ways he wasn't aware that it could.  
  
pJoey caught Pacey staring at her. She smiled her half smile, feeling a little  
uncomfortable with his watching her. She ushered Noah out to her car, taking his  
hand as they walked across the parking lot. Pacey lifted Sam onto his shoulders,  
hearing the little girl's squeaks of laughter.  
  
pJoey turned and saw the smiling girl on his shoulders. Something about a man  
taking care of his child, making the child happy beyond belief, seemed like the  
sexiest thing in the world. Seeing the child's short size and lack of strength set  
against a strong, handsome, sexy man was something that she was just discovering  
had an overwhelming effect on her.  
  
pPacey opened the passenger side door to his car, setting Sam inside. He turned  
to see Joey standing next to his car. He shut Sam's door, then walked to where she  
was standing.  
  
p"What's the matter?"  
  
p"Are you sure you want to take him tonight? I mean, he seems to feel  
better...."  
  
p"Joey...I'll be fine. And so will he. Besides, he and Sam wore themselves out  
playing in there. I'm almost willing to bet that once they get to my house, they  
will go to sleep."  
  
p"Will you?"  
  
pPacey looked confused, "Will I what?"  
  
pJoey shook her head, then smiled up at him, "Nothing. Nevermind."  
  
p"Are you sure you're okay?"  
  
p"Yes."  
  
p"Okay, see you in a few minutes."  
  
phr  
  
pJoey opened Noah's closet and pulled out his bag he took to slipovers. Pacey  
was sitting on Noah's bed, playing with Dawson's old E.T. doll. He knew what  
Joey meant about the 'will you' question. He knew that Sam told her about his lack  
of sleep. They'd talked about it. But, he'd never been ready to fully discuss it.  
  
pJoey turned around and saw Pacey looking blankly at the doll. She raised her  
eyebrows, then went to Noah's dresser.  
  
p"You okay?"  
  
p"Yeah, I guess."  
  
p"Wanna talk about it?"  
  
p"Not really."  
  
p"Are you sure?"  
  
p"Yeah." He was dying to ask her one question. Not even about their children,  
but about her and her personal life. He wasn't sure why he wanted to know, but he  
did. It was a question that gnawed at him on the inside, and he had no choice. He  
had to ask her. Why didn't she ever date? "Jo, can I ask you a rather personal  
question?"  
  
p"What's it about?"  
  
p"Dating."  
  
p"What about it?"  
  
p"Why don't you?"  
  
pJoey turned and looked at him, "What brought that up?"  
  
p"I was just thinking, you're still young and beautiful and successful...you could  
have any guy you set your sights on, and yet, you never go out with anyone. Why  
is that?"  
  
p"I guess...because I can't find anyone who interests me."  
  
p"Is that the real reason?"  
  
p"What do you mean, is that the real reason?"  
  
p"I mean, is it really because you can't find anyone, or because you're afraid to  
find someone?"  
  
pJoey furrowed her brow, "What?"  
  
p"Is it because you are afraid of being hurt again?"  
  
p"Partially. What about you? It's been a while for you..."  
  
p"I'm not ready. I'm not over Veronica."  
  
p"Did you always call her Veronica?"  
  
p"I called her Ronnie most of the time. But I find that when I say Veronica,  
people know who I'm talking about."  
  
p"How come you didn't invite me to your wedding?"  
  
p"Why didn't you invite me to yours?"  
  
p"Because...I had no idea where you were."  
  
pPacey frowns, "I did kind of disappear, didn't I?"  
  
p"Yeah." Joey picks up a sheet of paper off the dresser, looks it over, then  
hands it to Pacey, "I've been meaning to give this to you."  
  
p"What is it?"  
  
p"It's a form for this camp that I sent Noah to last year. I'm sending him in a  
month, and I thought that you could let Sam go."  
  
p"A camp?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
pPacey smiles, "How very suburban of you."  
  
p"I know. But he had a lot of fun. And he talked about it for months."  
  
p"I'll think about it."  
  
p"Hey, think about this, with Sam and Noah gone, you can get everything  
together that you need before school starts. You can be the very prepared Mr.  
Witter."  
  
p"I get things done when they're around."  
  
pJoey and Pacey hear something break, they look at one another, then run down  
the stairs. Noah and Sam are looking at a collectors plate, lying on the floor next  
to the shelf it fell off.  
  
pJoey looks at the crying Sam, "What happened?"  
  
p"I...I fell...and the plate hit my hand," she said holding up the bloody hand.  
  
p"Oh GOD!" Pacey, exclaimed. Before he could rush to Sam's side, Joey was  
holding her and walking into the kitchen.  
  
p"Could you clean up the plate, while I clean up her hand?"  
  
p"Jo..."  
  
p"Please, Pace. It would be easier to bandage this up if just one person is doing  
it."  
  
pPacey watched Joey place Sam next to the sink and pull the First Aid kit out of  
the cabinet next to her. Sam was still crying, but seemed to calm down some as  
Joey started talking to her.  
  
pNoah watched Pacey as he stared into the kitchen. He was really scared for  
Sam. He didn't know that a person could turn green, and Pacey had. Noah pulled  
on Pacey's pants, and Pacey looked down at the little boy.  
  
p"Mommy is good at making boo boo's better."  
  
pPacey smiled, "Good."  
  
p"Are you scared?"  
  
p"Yeah. But, she's in good hands with Joey."  
  
p"Yeah. I thought Mommy was going to be mad."  
  
p"About the plate?"  
  
p"Uh-huh. It was the last thing my Daddy gave her."  
  
p"I think she's more concerned over how Sam's doing right now." Pacey kneeled  
and started picking up the parts of the broken plate. "How did this happen?"  
  
p"We were playing tag, and Sam slipped and hit the wall, and the plate fell  
down and broke."  
  
p"What does that tell you?"  
  
p"That glass is easy to break?"  
  
p"No. Don't play tag in the house." Pacey set the pieces in the trash can. He  
started thinking about the camp idea. "So, are you excited about going to camp?"  
  
p"Kind of."  
  
p"Why only 'kind of'?"  
  
p"Cause I want Sam to go."  
  
p"What if I told you I was going to let her go too?"  
  
p"You are?!"  
  
p"Maybe."  
  
p"Then I would be happy!" said the boy, smiling.  
  
p"All better," Joey said, walking in with Sam.  
  
p"Mommy, Pacey said that Sam is going to camp, too!"  
  
pJoey stared at Pacey, then smiled. She looked down at Sam who was giggling  
at Noah's little dance. Pacey walked over to his daughter, scooping her up into his  
arms. He kissed her on the cheek then looked at her hand. On the palm of her  
hand was a small band aid.  
  
p"It was only a scratch," Sam said as she yawned.  
  
p"So...I'm going to go get Noah's stuff together...stay down here and watch  
them."  
  
p"Yes ma'am."  
  
pJoey smiles and starts up the stairs, "Don't be a dork."  
  
phr  
  
pLater that night, as Pacey was in bed, the phone rang. He picked it up,  
knowing that it was her. She's called three times already, checking on Noah.  
  
p"Hello?"  
  
p"Hey," she said softly.  
  
p"He's fine, Jo. Stop worrying."  
  
p"Okay. I know I shouldn't be so..."  
  
p"Insane?"  
  
p"I was going to say protective, but if you think insane is a better word..."  
  
p"I do have a child Joey, I know the number to the fire department and police  
department, and I know CPR...so stop worrying."  
  
p"Okay. Sorry. So...what are you doing?"  
  
p"About to go to sleep."  
  
p"How are you sleeping these days, Pace?"  
  
pHe sighed, "I'm getting better. I don't wake up screaming anymore, if that's  
what you mean."  
  
p"Are you still having the dreams?"  
  
p"Not as bad. Usually they are just memories now...none of the really graphic  
dreams."  
  
p"Good."  
  
p"What about you Joey?"  
  
p"What about me?"  
  
p"Well, it's 1:00 in the morning, and you are talking to me on the phone about  
sleeping while you could be doing it."  
  
p"Sometimes I have these dreams, and they seem so real."  
  
p"What kind of dreams?"  
  
p"They are more along the lines of fantasies."  
  
pPacey laughed, "Joey Potter is having porn dreams. That's funny."  
  
p"They aren't porn, Pacey. They're romantic."  
  
p"Like what?"  
  
p"I'm not telling you."  
  
p"Why not?"  
  
p"Because you'll just make fun of me."  
  
p"I will not."  
  
p"Yes you will. I'll tell you and then you'll say something like, 'You are such a  
girl' or , 'You need mental help if you think that's romantic'. And I like my  
dreams...so...I'm not going to let you ruin them for me."  
  
pSoftly, sincerely, "I would never do that, Joey. Sometimes...all people have  
are dreams."  
  
p"You swear you won't laugh?"  
  
p"Cross my heart and hope to die."  
  
pJoey sighed, "Fine. The one I have the most often usually involves a picnic.   
It's out by the creek, the sun is setting, and...I feel really stupid telling you this."  
  
p"I want to hear it, Joey."  
  
p"Well, it's me and this man, I can't make out his face, and we're kissing. You  
know the kind of kiss that takes your breath away, makes you week in the knees,  
gives you butterflies and goose bumps?"  
  
pWhispers, "Yeah."  
  
p"That's the kind of kiss. Full of passion and heat and..."  
  
p"Love?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"Is there anymore to this dream?"  
  
p"Yes, but there is bno/b way I'm telling you that."  
  
p"Sounds like a wonderful dream, Jo."  
  
p"You don't think it's corny?"  
  
p"I think it sounds beautiful."  
  
pJoey smiles. She listened to the sound of his breathing. Soft, steady. He was  
getting to her in a way that she didn't know anyone could. Being around him so  
much recently has made her realize that she is falling into something she may not  
be able to recover from.  
  
p"I don't have to work tomorrow, so if you want to bring the kids over here and  
all of us go swimming, you can."  
  
p"Sounds good. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"And Jo?"  
  
p"Hmmm?"  
  
p"I hope you find the guy that gives you butterflies and goosebumps."  
  
p"Thanks, Pacey. Bye."  
  
p"Bye."  
  
pJoey hung up the phone, thinking about what Pacey had just said. She looked  
down at her arm, goosebumps decorating her skin. "I think I already have." She  
then threw her head into her pillow and screamed.  
  
phr  
  
pcenter  
To Be Continued...  
/center  



	6. Chapter 6~Cowboy Take Me Away

  
center  
font size="6"New Life/font/br  
font size="5"Part 6~Cowboy Take Me Away/font  
/center  
phr  
pAuthor's Note: Thanks to Bijal and Mel for reading over this for me. I appreciate it guys!!!!!!!!!  
phr  
center/i  
I said I wanna touch the earth/br  
I wanna break it with my hands/br  
I wanna grow something wild and unruly/br  
/br  
I wanna sleep on the hard ground/br  
In the comfort of your arms/br  
On a pillow of bluebonnets/br  
In a blanket made of stars/br  
/br  
Oh it sounds good to me I said/br  
/br  
Cowboy take me away/br  
Fly this girl as high as you can/br  
Into the wild blue/br  
Set me free oh I pray/br  
Closer to heaven above and closer to you/br  
closer to you/br  
/br  
I wanna walk not run/br  
I wanna skin and not fall/br  
I wanna look at the horizon/br  
And not see a building standing tall/br  
/br  
I wanna be the only one/br  
For miles and miles/br  
Except maybe for you/br  
And your simple smile/br  
/br  
Oh it sounds good to me/br  
Yeah it sounds good to me/br  
/br  
Oh it sounds good to me I said/br  
/br  
Cowboy take me away/br  
Fly this girl as high as you can/br  
Into the wild blue/br  
Set me free oh I pray/br  
Closer to heaven above and closer to you/br  
closer to you/br  
/br  
I said I wanna touch the earth/br  
I wanna break it in my hands/br  
I wanna grow something/br  
wild and unruly/br  
Oh it sounds so good to me/br  
/br  
Cowboy take me away/br  
Fly this girl as high as you can/br  
Into the wild blue/br  
Set me free oh I pray/br  
Closer to heaven above and closer to you/br  
closer to you/br  
~Cowboy Take Me Away/br  
~Dixie Chicks  
/center/i  
phr  
pJoey awoke the next morning to the sound of the doorbell ringing. She threw  
the covers off her body, looking at the clock. She rubbed her eyes then walked  
down the stairs. She saw through the glass door that it was Pacey, Sam, and Noah.   
She pulled the scrunchi out of her hair, the opened the door.  
  
pNoah hugged his mother's legs then ran for the stairs. Pacey was swinging  
Sam her hands, causing the child to shriek with laughter. Pacey looked up at Joey  
and for the first time noticed what she was wearing. The gray tank top she was  
wearing clung to her upper body like a glove to a hand. The flannel boxers she  
was wearing exposed her long tan legs.   
  
p"You're early."  
  
p"No...you just slept in."  
  
p"And I would have slept longer."  
  
pPacey smiled. Sam stared up at Joey and Pacey, noticing the strange look that  
Joey was giving her father.   
  
p"Hey Miss Joey."  
  
p"And hello Miss Sam."  
  
p"Me and Noah woke up Daddy this morning."  
  
pJoey smiled, "And how did you do that?"  
  
pPacey looks down at his child and replies, "By playing trampoline with my  
stomach."  
  
p"Ouch."  
  
p"No kidding ouch. So, we decided to come wake you up as well, in a less  
painful way of course."  
  
p"Miss Joey, are you going to get dressed and come swimming with us?"  
  
p"Yeah. Give me a few minutes. Make yourselves at home."  
  
pPacey plopped on her couch. "Don't mind if I do." Joey walked up the stairs.   
Sam climbed onto her father's lap, looking down at his smiling face. She smiled.  
  
p"Are you happy, Daddy?"  
  
p"Yeah, baby."  
  
p"Miss Joey's happy too."  
  
p"How do you know?"  
  
p"She told me so."  
  
p"When?"  
  
p"Last night when we were in the car."  
  
p"Oh she did, did she?"  
  
p"Yep. And...she's been looking at you funny?"  
  
p"Funny? How funny?"  
  
pSam just smiled down at her father. She giggled as he started tickling her.   
Noah ran down the stairs. He saw Pacey tickling her and ran and jumped on  
Pacey's back. Pacey brought him around in front, and tickled him with the other  
hand.  
  
pJoey came down the stairs, hearing the children's shrieks of laughter. She  
walked to stand behind the couch and leaned against it with her hands.  
  
p"Children..."  
  
pPacey looked up, and stopped tickling the two kids. Joey's red bikini top  
revealed more skin than it covered. Her hair was piled on top of her head with a  
clip, her waist covered with a red wrap with a gold etched pattern.  
  
pJoey noticed Pacey's expression and tried to conceal her blush. It had the right  
effect, making him speechless, a rarity in Pacey Witter. The two children perched  
on their knees and looked at Pacey and Joey. They looked at one another, then  
back to their parents.  
  
p"Can we go swimming now?" Noah asked impatiently.  
  
pJoey tore her eyes away from Pacey's and looked down at her child. She  
smiled. "Yeah."  
  
p"Pacey...are you going to teach me how to swim today?"  
  
pPacey looked down at Noah, "Yeah."  
  
p"Wait, you're going to teach my son how to swim?"  
  
p"You think I can't do it?"  
  
p"Should I be afraid?"  
  
p"No. I taught Sam to swim in one day."  
  
p"Well aren't you just father of the year?"  
  
p"Are you trying to tick me off?"  
  
p"Yeah. Is it working?"  
  
p"Yes."  
  
p"Good. Okay, Noah and Sam, you guys head to the backyard, but don't get in  
the pool. Do you hear me?"  
  
p"Yes ma'am."  
  
pJoey walked into the kitchen after them, Pacey falling behind to watch Joey  
walk. He watched how her whole body moved as she walked, every fluid  
movement causing an ache in his body. He tried to control his hormones,  
reminding himself that he was no longer a hormonal seventeen year old. He was a  
grown man that should be able to keep his body in check at the sight of a goddess  
in human form.  
  
pJoey turned into the laundry room off the side of the kitchen. She took four  
towels and her bag of sun lotion outside with her. Pacey watched as Noah sat on  
the steps of the pool and talked with Sam.   
  
p"I have a little rule," he said, "no dumping water on me. Got it?"  
  
p"Yes, Daddy."  
  
p"What about on Mommy?"  
  
p"Not on me either, Noah."  
  
p"But Mommy..."  
  
p"No buts...if I want to get wet, I'll get in the pool."  
  
p"Okay. Hey, Pacey. Come teach me how to swim, please."  
  
pPacey turned to look at Joey, who was spreading out her towel in her chair.   
She removed the wrap from around her waist, Pacey tried in vain to keep his body  
from responding. Joey sat in the chair, stretching out her long legs.  
  
p"Are you going to lay there while I teach your son how to swim?"  
  
p"Planned on it."  
  
p"Lazy."  
  
p"You betcha."  
  
pPacey went to the other side of the pool. He got a good distance away from  
the edge, then ran and jumped in, pulling one leg up to his chest and leaning back  
towards Joey. The impact sent water over the side of the pool and all over Joey.  
  
pWhen Pacey came up, he saw the drenched Joey Potter standing next to her  
chair, hands on hips, and a scowl on her face.  
  
p"Grow up, Pacey."  
  
p"I did."  
  
p"Then act your age."  
  
p"You gonna make me, Potter?"  
  
pJoey dropped the sun glasses in her hand and dove into the pool. Joey came  
up and pushed Pacey's head under. Not willing to let her win, he reached for her  
legs and pulled them towards him, bring her under water with him. Sam and Noah  
looked at each other, both laughing.  
  
p"I think my dad likes your mom."  
  
p"I think my mom likes your dad."  
  
pPacey and Joey came back up, both laughing and taking deep breaths of air.   
Joey splashed water at him.  
  
p"I'm in the pool. Happy now?"  
  
p"Delighted. Now you can help me teach iyour/i son how to swim."  
  
pJoey swam over to the two children. She sat on the steps with them, Sam  
climbed into her lap.  
  
p"Samantha, sweetie, Joey can't help me with you sitting on her."  
  
p"I know. She's sitting with me," Sam said with a smile.  
  
p"Okay, Noah, looks like your mom is going to do inothing/i in the way of  
helping me. So it looks like it's going to take a man to teach you how to swim."  
  
p"Okay!"  
  
pPacey lifted Noah with one hand, holding him with one hand under his  
stomach, the other holding one of his arms. Pacey set Noah on the side of the  
pool, and began going over technique with him. Joey watched as every move of  
Pacey's arms sent his muscles rippling. His stomach was tight, everything well  
toned.  
  
p"Miss Joey?"  
  
p"Yeah, sweetie?"  
  
p"Do you have any floats?"  
  
p"Yeah. I have a few. But they aren't blown up. We could probably talk your  
dad into it since he's full of hot air anyway."  
  
p"I heard that Josephine," Pacey said, splashing water in her direction.  
  
p"Come on, well get them."  
  
pJoey and Sam climbed out of the pool, walking the cobblestone path to a small  
shed next to her house. Joey opened the door and pulled the chain on the light.   
She opened a cupboard and pulled out two deflated floats. Joey turned the light  
off, and she and Sam left the shed.  
  
pJoey looked at the pool and saw Noah swimming towards Pacey. She stood  
and watched as Pacey coaxed him, and Noah never gave up until he finally  
grabbed hold of Pacey's arm. Pacey picked him up, smiling at the little boy.  
  
p"You did it little man!"  
  
p"YAY! Can I do it again?"  
  
p"Yeah. Swim back to the wall."  
  
pNoah did just that, kicking his feet and moving his tiny arms and made it back  
to the wall. He smiled up at his mother who was looking down at him. She then  
looked at Pacey, pride beaming off his face.  
  
p"Looks like I didn't give you enough credit Mr. Witter."  
  
p"Looks like, Ms. Potter."  
  
pJoey tossed a large silver float out to Pacey, "Put all that hot air to good use."  
  
pPacey opened the cord and began blowing into it. The float began to fill with  
air, as Joey began blowing up the other one. Joey stopped after a while, having  
lost the feeling in her lips. Pacey put the plug into the float and pushed it over to  
the side of the pool.  
  
pHe smiled at Joey, "Want some help with that?"  
  
p"Yeah. I've lost all feeling in my lips and my head hurts."  
  
p"If I had a head like that, it would hurt too."  
  
pJoey kicked water at him, "Jerk."  
  
p"Fine, then you blow it up."  
  
p"Okay, not a jerk, a mild...annoyance."  
  
p"Really?"  
  
p"Okay, a pretty decent guy."  
  
p"Decent? I'm only decent?"  
  
p"A great friend, and don't push it. I have several adjectives I could call you  
that aren't anywhere near that nice."  
  
p"Okay, Jo," takes the float from her and begins blowing air into it.  
  
pThe cordless phone begins ringing and Joey rises from where she's sitting on  
the side of the pool. Pacey watches her as she walks away from him, loving the  
designer of that bathing suit.  
  
p"Hello?"  
  
p"Hey Jo."  
  
p"Hey Jen!"  
  
p"You are chipper. What's the occasion?"  
  
p"No occasion."  
  
p"Oh yeah? Just happy?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"HA! LOOK AT THAT JOSEPHINE POTTER!" Pacey screamed at her as he  
pushed the float towards Noah and Sam.  
  
pJoey scowled at him, "Who was that?" Jen asked, already knowing the answer.  
  
p"Pacey's being a smart ass."  
  
p"Isn't he always," she asked laughing.  
  
pJoey sat on her chair, reclining back. Pacey climbed out of the pool and took  
the phone from her.  
  
p"Hello?" Pacey said.  
  
p"Excuse you!"  
  
p"Hush, Jo."  
  
p"Hey Pacey!"  
  
p"JENNY! How the hell are you doing?"  
  
p"I'm great. How are you?"  
  
p"You know me....Surviving."  
  
p"So I've heard. I also heard that you have a daughter."  
  
p"Yeah. Shocked?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"You're friend is getting on my last nerve."  
  
p"What is she doing?" Jen asked, trying not to laugh.  
  
p"Giving me a look to kill."  
  
p"She's known for those, Pace."  
  
p"I know. I used to get one on a daily basis."  
  
p"I remember," she said laughing.  
  
p"Jo tells me you're going to come visit us in a week."  
  
p"Yeah. And I'll let you meet my husband, Nick."  
  
p"And what is this baby business?"  
  
p"Damn...Joey can't keep her mouth shut."  
  
p"You act surprised."  
  
p"I guess I shouldn't be."  
  
p"So...would you like to finish your conversation with the blabber mouth?"  
  
p"I am not a blabber mouth," Joey said, clearly pouting.  
  
p"Yeah, see you in a week, Pace."  
  
p"You bet."  
  
pPacey handed the phone back to Joey and joined the kids in the pool. He put  
both of them on the float and leaned on it. Joey watched them talking.  
  
p"Jo...you there?"  
  
p"Yeah, Jen. I'm here."  
  
p"Okay...so...after you woke me up last night at 1:45 in the morning to tell me  
that you may possibly be falling in love with Pacey...have you decided anymore  
that you may have?"  
  
p"Jen...I can hardly be around him..."  
  
p"Without wanting to touch him or kiss him...I know...I've heard this all  
before..."  
  
p"I don't know...I guess...I don't know what I'm feeling."  
  
p"Well, I'll be there in a week...and I will try my hardest to help you figure it  
out. But I think there is something you need to realize."  
  
p"What's that?"  
  
p"He lost his wife...so even if you realize that you've fallen in love with  
him...that may not be the case where he's concerned."  
  
p"I know," she answered sadly. Joey sighed as she watched Pacey smile down  
at the two children, who were laying on the float while Pacey pushed it. "I'll talk  
to you later. I'm going to spend some time with Noah..."  
  
p"And Pacey and Sam."  
  
p"Yeah. Talk to you later."  
  
pJoey hung up the phone. She sat it on the table next to her chair. iWhat the  
hell am I thinking? There is no way I can take the place of his wife. They had a  
child with one another...he's not ready to get over that. Joey...get over it...I can't  
put myself through this/i. Watching Pacey with her child, being so caring, so  
fatherly sent a gently ache through her heart. iWhy is it I always want what I  
can never have/i?  
  
phr  
  
piHours later.../i  
  
pJoey and Noah are on the couch watching iThe Wizard of Oz/i when the  
telephone rings. Joey reaches over her head and takes the phone from it's cradle.  
  
p"Hello?"  
  
p"You didn't invite him to spend the night?" Jen asked with a smile.  
  
p"You are so funny," Joey said sarcastically.  
  
p"I think so."  
  
p"So...what are you upto?"  
  
p"Waiting for Nick to get back."  
  
p"Where did he go?"  
  
p"Pick up dinner. What are you doing?"  
  
p"Watching the Wizard of Oz with Noah."  
  
p"Good movie."  
  
p"I think so."  
  
p"You sound down-right depressed."  
  
p"Probably because I am."  
  
p"Pacey?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
pJen sighs, "I wish I could help you out, Jo..."  
  
p"I know. No one can help me but me."  
  
p"So how long are you going to feel depressed?"  
  
p"Don't know...depends on a certain someone."  
  
pNoah buried his head in his mothers chest as the witch started telling Dorothy  
that she was going to get her and her little dog. Joey stroked his hair, assuring him  
that everything would be okay.  
  
p"What happened?"  
  
p"Oh...Noah got a little scared by the witch."  
  
p"I don't blame him. Scared the hell out of me when I was his age."  
  
p"Me too." Joey sighed, "Do you think I'm stupid?"  
  
pJen shook her head as she said, "No. Joey, you can't help how you feel."  
  
p"I know. But of all the men..."  
  
p"Why Pacey Witter?"  
  
p"Yeah. Why now? Why is it when I have everything in my life going  
perfectly that a wrench gets thrown into my path?"  
  
p"Love just happens Jo. You can't explain it."  
  
p"I wish I could explain this, Jen."  
  
p"I know. But...love will take you by surprise, and sometimes you don't even  
know it's happening and the next thing you know, you're head over heels in love  
with this amazing man that just took you completely by surprise. And it can be a  
blessing and it can also be a curse. And in your case, it looks like it's both."  
  
pJoey's line beeped, "Jen, can you hang on a second, someone's on the other  
line."  
  
p"Sure."  
  
pJoey clicked the phone, "Hello?"  
  
p"Hey Jo."  
  
pJust the sound of his voice sent her head spinning. "Hey Pace. What's up?"  
  
p"I just unpacked a box...and I could use someone to talk to..."  
  
p"Okay...let me let Jen go, okay Pacey?"  
  
p"Yeah," he said sadly.  
  
pJoey clicked the phone, "It's him."  
  
p"I bet that just makes you all giddy, doesn't it?"  
  
p"He's upset, Jen."  
  
p"But just hearing his voice does it for you, doesn't it."  
  
p"Bye Jen."  
  
pJen smiled, "Bye Joey. And good luck."  
  
p"Thanks."  
  
pJoey clicked the phone back over to Pacey. She heard the shakiness of his  
breathing. She knew that whatever he found had some significance of his late  
wife.  
  
p"You still there, Pacey?"  
  
pHe clears his throat, "Yeah...yeah, I'm still here."  
  
p"So...wanna tell me about it?"  
  
p"I was unpacking the last of the boxes...and I found..."  
  
p"What?"  
  
p"I found some of her clothes. I guess the movers stuck this box in with mine  
by mistake." He took a deep breath, trying to stay calm while on the phone with  
her, "They...they still have her smell."  
  
p"Pacey..." her heart was breaking in a million pieces for his pain.  
  
p"I just want it to stop hurting, Joey."  
  
p"I know, Pacey."  
  
p"I don't know what to do. Putting them in the box was hard, getting rid of  
them again...it'll kill me."  
  
pShe swiped the tears from her eyes, "You have to Pacey."  
  
p"I know..."  
  
p"Pacey, I know you're hurting...I know you think that you will never stop  
hurting...but one day, you'll wake up and realize that...you have to move on.   
Standing still never did anyone any good. You think it will never stop  
hurting...but I can tell you...it gets easier to deal with."  
  
p"I don't want to deal with it, Joey. I want to be selfish right now. I want her  
with me. I want to be able to hold her and tell her that I love her...but I will never  
get another opportunity."  
  
pJoey quit wiping away her tears. She let them flow freely down her face. She  
looked down at her son, finding that he was asleep and not able to see her cry.  
  
p"I just miss her so much it hurts my soul."  
  
p"I know, Pacey. I wish I could tell you what to do...or how to feel....but I can't  
tell you any of that."  
  
p"I know, Jo." He sighs, "I just...I know that you could understand better than  
anyone what it's like to lose someone you gave your heart to."  
  
p"Yeah, but the person you gave yours to was taken from you...I made mine  
leave."  
  
p"For good reason too. It still pisses me off to think about what Dawson did to  
you."  
  
p"Yeah...but...I don't like to dwell on it."  
  
p"Does it still hurt you?"  
  
pShe thought for a minute, "Not the way it used to. I used to be bitter and  
completely shut off to everyone. I vowed that I would never give my heart to  
another man as long as I lived."  
  
p"Do you think you'll ever be able to? Give your heart to anyone?"  
  
p"Yeah, Pacey, I'm pretty sure that if it's the right guy for me, I will have no  
problem falling in love with him."  
  
p"And how will you know if you love him, Jo?"  
  
pJoey sighed, thinking of all the things that told her that she was falling for  
Pacey, "The sound of his voice will make my heart flutter, his smile will just make  
me weak in the knees....looking at him could fill me with so much happiness that it  
overwhelms me."  
  
p"You speaking from experience or just from what you hope will happen?"  
  
p"Experience."  
  
p"That how it was with Dawson?"  
  
p"Yeah," she lied. "What about you, Pacey? Do you think that there is any  
possible way you could fall in love again? Not necessarily like you did with  
Veronica, but just love someone again."  
  
p"I don't know. When I lost her, I lost my heart with her. And...I'm not sure I  
want to. What I had with Veronica was so perfect and magical...I'm not sure I  
could ever find anything like that with anyone else...ever."  
  
pJoey cried new tears. Tears of complete hopelessness. "I think...I think you  
need to have a little faith Pacey. You never know what could happen."  
  
p"Yeah." Sam was crying for Pacey, "I gotta go. Sam is crying for me."  
  
p"Okay, I'll talk to you later."  
  
p"Bye Jo."  
  
p"Bye."  
  
pJoey clicked the off button on her phone. She sat up and took Noah in her  
arms. She carried him up the stairs and laid him in his bed. She kissed his  
forehead as she tucked him in and walked into her room.  
  
pShe walked over to the large dresser and mirror. She looked at her reflection  
and felt utterly defeated. She bowed her head as she rested her palms against the  
dresser. She then looked up into the mirror, "I'm competing with his wife's ghost."   
She brought her hands to her face as she slumped to the floor. She cried because  
for the first time, she realized that she had fallen in love with a man who didn't  
even think he could ever love again.  
  
pShe didn't know how long she was on the floor, but when she stood, her knees  
were weak, her hands were shaking, and her eyes were red and puffy. She walked  
into her bathroom and turned on the bath water. She poured some of her bubble  
bath into the water, lit several candles, turned the radio on, and climbed into the  
large tub. She took a scrunchey off the counter and pulled her hair up in a loose  
bun.  
  
pShe finally began to relax, letting the song on the radio coax her into a state of  
relaxation she only experienced in her tub.  
  
picenter  
I was there/br  
When you shone as bright as Bethlehem from afar/br  
I was there/br  
When you were young and strong and perverted/br  
And everything that makes a young man a star/br  
Oh, you were a star/br  
/i/center  
  
pShe smiled at the symbolism in the song. She was there. She grew up with  
him. She saw him go from this annoying little boy to an annoying man. Her mind  
began to wander, thinking about what the future could possibly hold. She found  
herself imagining a kiss. The kind of kiss that she only dreamed about. One that  
set every nerve ending in her body on fire.   
  
picenter  
I was there/br  
And I swear to God and on my mother's grave/br  
On everything I have or ever will embrace/br  
I was there/br  
And I saw it with my own two eyes/br  
/i/center  
  
pHis hands were cupping her face, kissing her gently yet with enough passion to  
make her want to melt in his hands. Her hair was whipping in the breeze, or  
maybe it was the intensity in which he was kissing her.   
  
pcenteri  
And now it's all around me, it's all around me/br  
I'm surrounded/br  
And now it's all around me, it's all around me/br  
You surround me like a circle/br  
/center/i  
  
pShe sighed contentedly at the thought. His hands smoothed down her back,  
pulling her closer to him as her hands roamed through his hair. And everything  
around the two of them disappeared...it was a vast emptiness, but they were still  
kissing. She knew that if she pulled away from him it would end, and it never  
should.   
  
pShe knew that if she pulled away from his warm embrace, she would instantly  
be cold. His arms providing the only warmth around him, and his lips provided  
her sanctuary. She slowly opened her eyes, knowing that she was going to get  
hurt. But couldn't help but wonder if, in the end, it would all be worth it if he  
would just kiss her.  
  
phr  
pcenter  
To Be Continued....  
/center  



	7. Chapter 7~With or Without You

  
center  
font size="6"New Life/font/br  
font size="5"Part 7~With Or Without You/font  
/center  
phr  
pAuthor's Note: Thanks to my beta readers for helping me out with this.  
phr  
centeri  
See the stone set in your eyes/br  
See the thorn twist in your side/br  
I wait for you/br  
Slight of hand and twist of fate/br  
On a bed of nails she makes me wait/br  
And I wait....without you /br  
/br  
With or without you/br  
With or without you /br  
/br  
Through the storm we reach the shore/br  
You give it all but I want more/br  
And I'm waiting for you /br  
/br  
With or without you/br  
With or without you/br  
I can't live with or without you /br  
/br  
And you give yourself away/br  
And you give yourself away/br  
And you give/br  
And you give/br  
And you give yourself away /br  
/br  
My hands are tied/br  
My body's bruised/br  
She's got me with nothing left to win/br  
And nothing left to lose /br  
/br  
With or without you/br  
With or without you/br  
I can't live with or without you /br  
~With Or Without You/br  
~U2  
/center/i  
phr  
pJoey went through Noah's bag one last time. She made sure he had enough  
shirts, shorts, underwear, his tooth brush, and anything else that he might need  
while he was away at camp. After she dropped him off at the place where the bus  
would pick him up, she had to go to the airport and pick up Jen.  
  
pShe started smiling thinking about who was riding with her. No matter what  
happened, she loved being around Pacey. She loved talking to him, laughing at  
how much he really hadn't changed over the years. He was still the same guy,  
making her laugh easier than anyone else ever could. She knew that he tried to put  
on a brave face for Sam, but she knew that he was hurting more than anyone could  
ever know.   
  
p"Mommy, can I take this with me?" Noah asked, holding up the Chuck E.  
Cheese doll.  
  
p"Yeah, stick it in your bag."  
  
pThe little boy was so excited, he could hardly contain himself. She loved him  
so much, but she needed a break every once in a while. And she was going to get  
a week long break.  
  
p"Mommy, will you tell Aunt Jen that I said hey?"  
  
p"Yeah sweetie," she said smiling. "She's really mad at me for letting you go.   
She told me that I should keep you here with us."  
  
p"NO! I want to go!"  
  
p"I know that," she said laughing.  
  
p"Is Nick coming too?"  
  
p"Yep."  
  
p"Tell him I said hey too."  
  
p"I will."  
  
pNoah zipped the bag up. He looked up at his mother. "I'll miss you Mommy."  
  
pShe kneeled down in front of him, hugging him, "I'll miss you, too sweetie.   
And you know that I love you very much."  
  
p"I love you too, Mommy. Can we go? We have to go get Sam."  
  
pJoey picked up the bag, turned off the light, and walked down the stairs. She  
climbed into the car, tossed the bag behind her seat, made sure Noah was buckled  
in, and pulled out of the driveway.  
  
pShe pulled up in front of Pacey's house two minutes later. She honked the  
horn, and got out of the car. She took Noah's bag from behind her seat, and moved  
it to the trunk. Pacey and Sam walked out of the house, Pacey carrying Sam's bag  
on his shoulder. He put it with Noah's then closed the trunk.  
  
pNoah and Sam were seated in the back, both talking at the same time about  
what they were going to do at camp. Pacey climbed into the passenger's seat, and  
looked over his shoulder at Noah and Sam. Their excitement beamed off of them.  
  
p"You two excited?"  
  
p"YEAH!"  
  
pPacey and Joey both laughed. About fifteen minutes later, they were at the  
school. Six year olds were running around everywhere. Their parent's saying their  
good-byes to their children. Pacey and Joey climbed out of the car, and went to  
get their bags. Noah and Sam met their parents at the back of the car.  
  
p"Okay, so you guys are going to have lots of fun right?" Joey asked with a  
smile.  
  
p"Yes ma'am."  
  
pPacey picked Sam up, hugging her tightly. "I've never been away from you,  
baby."  
  
p"I know, Daddy."  
  
p"If any boys start being mean to you, kick them."  
  
p"I'll beat up any body that tries to hurt Sam," Noah said with a smile.  
  
pPacey put Sam back on the ground. "So...you're gonna protect Sam?"  
  
p"Yes sir."  
  
p"What if they..." Pacey picked Noah up by the leg, "held you upside down like  
this? Would you still protect Sam?"  
  
pThe little boy laughed as Pacey turned him upright and sat him back on the  
ground. Pacey tousled Noah's hair, then walked the two children over with the rest  
of the group.   
  
p"Okay, Noah, I don't want you getting into any fights. If someone picks on  
you...tell on them."  
  
p"But mom..."  
  
p"Don't 'but mom' me. You heard what I said. I don't you being the bully at  
camp. So, Sam, could you make sure that he doesn't get into any fights?"  
  
p"Yes ma'am."  
  
p"Thank you."  
  
p"Now hold on a second. If Noah can't fight, whose going to take care of Sam?   
I mean, those boys better keep their hands to themselves..."  
  
p"I'll be okay, Daddy. Stop worrying."  
  
p"It's what fathers do best, Sam," Joey said with a smile. "Let him worry all he  
wants. He's just going to learn that you aren't as helpless as he thinks you are.   
And you don't need him to do everything for you."  
  
p"Thanks for making me feel needed, Jo."  
  
p"Any time, Pacey." Joey looked at her watch, "I wish the bus would get here,  
we have to be at the airport in an hour to pick up Jen and Nick."  
  
p"It takes thirty minutes to get there, Jo. Calm down."  
  
pThe bus pulled up the street and the screaming of the children grew erratic.  
They were all jumping up and down, smiling at their parents.  
  
pJoey bent down and kissed Noah's forehead, "You have fun. And no fighting,  
and you better not bring home another animal."  
  
p"I thought you liked Henry," Noah said confused.  
  
p"Henry?" Pacey asked curiously.  
  
p"Noah brought home a snake. He had it for a week before I knew anything  
about it."  
  
pPacey laughed, then turned to his daughter. "And that goes the same for you  
little missy. Don't come home with anything furry, something with scales, or  
something that could be qualified as an animal."  
  
p"Okay Daddy."  
  
pPacey kissed the top of her head one more time, then handed the bag to the  
councilor. He watched as Sam hugged Joey. The two had become rather close in  
their time together. If Sam had something to talk about, she usually went to him,  
but about other things, she went to Joey.  
  
pJoey said good-bye to Noah one last time, then they watched as the bus drove  
Noah and Sam away from them for a week. Pacey placed his hand on Joey's  
shoulder, the simple contact igniting things within Joey that not even making love  
to Dawson could.  
  
p"You ready to go pick up Jenny and Nick," Pacey asked.  
  
p"Yeah," she said sighing.  
  
p"What's wrong?"  
  
p"Nothing. I'm just going to miss Noah."  
  
p"I know what you mean. Being away from Sam is going to drive me insane."  
  
p"At least Nick and Jen are staying with me. That should keep my mind  
occupied."  
  
p"While I, on the other hand, will go insane without someone to talk to."  
  
pJoey and Pacey climbed back into the car and drove down the road. "Pacey,  
you know any time you need to talk, I'll listen. If there's one thing I hope I've  
proved to you is that you can talk to me."  
  
p"I know, Jo. And I appreciate it. More than you know."  
  
pJoey smiled at him. Pacey leaned forward and turned the radio up. They rode  
to the airport in a comfortable silence, finding that neither had to say anything to  
enjoy themselves, so long as they were in the others company.  
  
pJoey found a parking space and pulled into it quickly. Pacey put his hand on  
the dash board to keep from hitting his head on it.  
  
p"Jesus Jo, where in the hell did you learn to park?"  
  
p"Park? I never learned to park."  
  
p"That's obvious," he said dryly.  
  
p"Oh shut up."  
  
phr  
  
pJoey and Pacey sat in two chairs waiting for Jen and Nick to get off the plane.   
Pacey's arm was behind Joey's chair, his hand absently played with her hair. Joey  
tried to remind herself that she was giving her heart to a man that didn't think he  
could ever love again, a reality of which she did not want to face. She played with  
her hands, trying in vain to keep from thinking about how his thumb that kept  
brushing against her back.  
  
pPeople began to walk off the plane, Joey and Pacey stood to look for Jen.   
She's really missed her since she's moved, but she did it for Nick. And Joey loved  
Nick. He was a great guy and took very good care of Jen. She was the one who  
introduced the two of them, and both Jen and Nick had been eternally grateful.  
  
pJoey saw Jen and waved at her. Jen pulled Nick by the hand led him over to  
where Pacey and Joey were standing. Jen hugged Joey, a sight which Pacey never  
thought he would see.  
  
p"You look great, Jen!"  
  
p"You too."  
  
p"Hey, Jo. Where's Noah?"  
  
p"He's at camp."  
  
p"You sent him to camp?"  
  
p"You didn't tell him?"  
  
p"He wouldn't have come if I had told him."  
  
pPacey smiled. "Damn, Jenny. Doesn't your old pal Pacey even get a hello?"  
  
p"No. You get a slap in the head for not staying in touch."  
  
pPacey laughed. "Okay, okay, I know I probably deserve it."  
  
p"Probably?"  
  
pJen hugs Pacey, then remembers that Pacey and Nick have never met. "Nick,  
this is Pacey Witter. Pacey, this is my husband Nick."  
  
pThe two shake hands. "Nice to meet you."  
  
p"I've heard a lot about the infamous Pacey Witter."  
  
pPacey looks over at Jen, "What have you been saying about me?"  
  
p"Nothing that isn't true."  
  
p"Which could be very bad."  
  
pJen smiles, "You? Bad? Nooo." She loops her arm through Joey's and they  
head off for baggage claim. "Aren't you guys coming?"  
  
pPacey and Nick follow the two ladies, "So how long have you and Jen been  
married?"  
  
p"About four years."  
  
p"Jenny's been married for four years."  
  
p"Hard to believe?"  
  
p"A little."  
  
p"What about you?"  
  
p"I was married for eight years."  
  
p"Was?"  
  
p"My wife died."  
  
p"I'm sorry. I didn't know."  
  
p"It's okay."  
  
p"So...what's the story with you and Joey?"  
  
p"There is no story. We just grew up together and when I moved back  
here...she was the only person I knew besides my family."  
  
p"What do you think of Noah?"  
  
p"He's a miniature Dawson."  
  
p"Well, let's hope not. I would hate to see some woman get hurt like Joey did."  
  
p"Yeah. But, Noah is a good kid. My daughter thinks he's great."  
  
p"How old is your daughter?"  
  
p"6. She'll be 7 next month. She's getting so old so quickly."  
  
p"I heard kids tend to do that."  
  
p"I still remember the day she was born. I didn't know I could lose my heart as  
quickly as I did that night. The first time she was placed in my arms...she held my  
heart in the palm of her tiny little hand. And it's been that way ever since."  
  
p"So would you say that fatherhood is the best feeling in the world?"  
  
p"Yeah. Hearing your child call you daddy...it will melt you in ways you didn't  
know were possible."  
  
p"Sounds wonderful."  
  
phr  
  
p"You were right," Jen said smiling.  
  
p"About what?"  
  
p"He's gorgeous."  
  
p"Did you think I lied?"  
  
p"I thought you were only saying that because of the lack of male  
companionship in the last...what four years?"  
  
p"And you think that because of that I would be attracted to someone who  
wasn't good looking?"  
  
pJen casts a quick glance back at Pacey, "Honey, he's more than good looking."  
  
p"Hey, remember that you are married."  
  
p"So? Looking isn't a crime."  
  
pJoey sighs and continues walking with Jen. "So, now that you've seen what  
I'm up against, mind telling me what you think I should do? Should I commit  
suicide and spare myself the complete anguish that this will undoubtedly cause me  
or hold out for about fifty years and let mother nature do it for me?"  
  
p"Just wait until he gets to a point where he thinks he may be able to cope with  
dating again. And I'm willing to bet that the first person he sees like that will be  
you."  
  
p"I'm not getting my hopes up."  
  
p"You are such a pessimist."  
  
p"I know. You used to be one too."  
  
p"Until I got married and lets keep in mind that I have sex often...and you  
don't."  
  
p"Are you saying that my lack of sex is having an effect on my outlook on  
life?"  
  
p"Yes."  
  
p"You're right. It is. Being sexually frustrated sucks, Jen."  
  
p"I wouldn't know. I haven't experienced that in a very long time."  
  
p"No need in bragging."  
  
p"Oh come on, Jo. Are you telling me that there is not a single guy in Capeside  
that wouldn't jump at the chance to have sex with you?"  
  
p"I can think of one I really want."  
  
p"Okay...Joey...as your friend, I will try to talk you down from something that  
won't happen for a while." She takes a breath then looks at her friend, "I know  
that you are developing feelings for Pacey. In the past, you pretty much harbored  
them whether you would admit it or not. But lets keep in mind that Pacey just lost  
his wife. He loved her very much, and they have a child together. I can't see him  
getting over that too quickly. So, I think it would be a good idea for you to not get  
your hopes set on him for anything other than friendship any time soon."  
  
p"I know, Jen."  
  
p"So...you going to sit and pine away for him?"  
  
p"Do you see another option?"  
  
p"Not with a six year old son."  
  
p"I didn't think so."  
  
phr  
  
pJoey, Pacey, Jen, and Nick are all at Joey's house, talking and laughing at  
stories they have from their time away from each other. Pacey showed Jen and  
Nick pictures of Sam, and they both said that she resembled Pacey. She had his  
eyes.   
  
p"So, what's on the agenda for tonight?" Jen asked, looking over at Joey.  
  
p"You guys want to go out?"  
  
p"Yeah. Should we go casual or semi-formal or grungy?" Nick asked with a  
smile.  
  
pJoey laughed, "Jacket and tie good for you Nick?"  
  
pJen turns to Pacey, "How bout you Pacey? You coming?"  
  
p"If I'm invited."  
  
p"Of course you are," Joey said with a smile.  
  
p"I gotta go home and get ready then."  
  
p"I'll call and make reservations at Entrées Novous. How does that sound?"  
Joey asked.  
  
p"Sounds good."  
  
phr  
  
piThree Hours Later.../i  
  
pThe doorbell rang as Joey was putting on her earrings. Nick ran down the  
stairs and opened the door for Pacey. He was wearing a black suit with a blue silk  
tie.   
  
p"Where are they?"  
  
p"Jen is trying to find her black shoe..."  
  
p"I found my black shoe," she said with a smile as she walked down the stairs  
in a black cocktail dress.  
  
p"Looking beautiful Lindley."  
  
p"Looking sharp Pacey."  
  
p"So, we're just waiting on Joey?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"Doesn't surprise me."  
  
p"Why's that?"  
  
p"I always have to wait on her."  
  
pJen looked up at Nick, then back to Pacey, "You always wait on her? For  
what?"  
  
p"For anything. I find it funny that back in high school she was ready to go  
before all of us and now we have to wait for her."  
  
p"Are you complaining?" Joey asked as she walked down the stairs.  
  
pPacey turned to look at her, doing a double take. The red dress she was  
wearing was like a second skin to her You could see the slight swell of her breasts  
as it gently hugged her body, showing off her tiny waist and flowed into a loose  
skirt that hung mid-thigh. The spaghetti straps only served to show off her dark  
skin and long neck. Her hair was pulled up in loose curls on her head, several of  
them hanging down into her face.   
  
pHe tried to swallow the lump in his throat, but found that it was as big as the  
state of Minnesota. He blinked making sure that he was seeing what he was  
seeing. Joey Potter in goddess form.  
  
p"Joey you look great," Jen said with a smile. She noticed Pacey's slack-jawed  
expression and nudged her husband. He turned to look at Pacey and saw the same  
thing Jen did. A man in complete shock.  
  
pJoey walked the rest of the way down the stairs. She stood next to Jen, but in  
the heels she was wearing, she towered over the blonde. He tried once again to  
take it all in. Joey's very tanned legs extended from the short flowing skirt of her  
red dress, her nipped in waist was showed off by the slenderness of the dress, the  
top revealing the top of her breasts and the spaghetti straps of her dress only  
seemed to show off the smoothness of the skin on her long neck.  
  
p"So, who's driving?" Joey asked looking over at Pacey, who for the first time  
in two minutes showed signs of consciousness.   
  
p"I...I will."  
  
p"Okay." Joey smiled at Jen, "Shotgun!"  
  
p"Oh God, we're not playing that game," Jen said exasperated.  
  
p"Sure we are."  
  
p"Pacey, please tell her we are not twelve any more."  
  
p"Jen, sit in the back. She called shotgun."  
  
pJoey stuck her tongue out at Jen. "HA. I get the front."  
  
p"Fine, I'll just sit in the back with my husband make out."  
  
p"Not in my car," Pacey said sternly.  
  
pNick then got into the conversation, "Hey, it's not like we'll be having sex."  
  
p"No. Not in my car."  
  
p"Fine," Jen said with a smile.  
  
p"Shall we go?" Pacey asked, extending his arm out to Joey.  
  
p"We shall."  
  
phr  
  
piA few hours later.../i  
  
pJen and Joey were laughing, after having finished more than two bottles of  
champagne, both were more than tipsy. Pacey watched Joey hiccup and all he  
could do was smile. She looked so beautiful, almost like she wasn't afraid of who  
or what she was anymore. And why should she be? There were plenty of women  
in that room, but none had him captivated the way she did.  
  
pU2's "I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For" began to play in the  
restaurant. Joey formed a goofy smile and looked over at Pacey.   
  
pcenter  
iI have climbed the highest mountain/br  
I have run through the fields/br  
Only to be with you/br  
Only to be with you /i/center  
  
p"Will you dance with me?"  
  
p"Yeah. Come on, you drunk."  
  
p"I am not drunk," she said taking his hand as he stood. She wobbled and  
almost fell, "I'm a little tipsy."  
  
pPacey wrapped an arm around her slender waist and walked to the dance floor.   
She slowly moved into his arms and sank against his body.   
  
pcenteri  
I have run, I have crawled/br  
I have scaled these city walls/br  
These city walls/br  
Only to be with you   
/i/center  
  
pPacey slowly swayed with her in his arms. Her hands moved up around his  
neck, softly stroking the hairs at the back of his neck, causing ripples of desire for  
her to course through his body.  
  
pcenteri  
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for/br  
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for /I/center  
  
  
pJoey felt his large hands on her back and resisted the urge to run her hands all  
over his body. She just wanted to be close to him for a while. She laid her head  
on his chest, listening to the pitter-patter of his heart, feeling hers float into her  
throat. This was it, she just knew it. She was so in love with him she didn't know  
which way was up and which way was down. She slowly lifted her head and  
caught the intensity of his eyes.  
  
pcenteri  
I have kissed honey lips/br  
Felt the healing in her fingertips/br  
It burned like fire/br  
This burning desire/br  
I have spoke with the tongue of angels/br  
I have held the hand of a devil/br  
It was warm in the night/br  
I was cold as a stone   
/i/center  
  
piI don't know if I can take her rubbing against me like this and looking at me  
with those truly remarkable eyes/i. All he could think about was how much he  
wanted her. But the more he wanted her, the more the guilt began to rack up in his  
brain and his heart.   
  
pcenteri  
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for/br  
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for /i/center  
  
pShe knew that Pacey wasn't ready for any relationship with her, and that just  
made it hurt more. All she wanted was to just get lost him his arms and let the  
warmth of his body completely surround her. She wanted to lose herself in his  
shining blue eyes. Why did she have to be reunited with him when he was dealing  
with the loss of the love of his life? Of all the horrible luck.  
  
pcenteri  
I believe in the kingdom come/br  
Then all the colors will bleed into one/br  
Bleed into one/br  
Well, yes, I'm still running /i/center  
  
ipWhy do I want her so badly? Why is it like a gnawing ache inside to want  
her?/i She broke her gaze away from his, and put her head back against his  
chest. It felt so right holding her like he was now. So intimate, and so wonderful.   
He hadn't realized how much he'd missed holding a woman.  
  
pcenteri  
You broke the bonds and you/br  
Loosed the chains/br  
Carried the cross/br  
And all my shame/br  
All my shame/br  
You know I believe it/br  
/I/center  
  
pShe nearly stopped breathing when she felt his hand brush the skin of her  
shoulder. His hand ran down her arm, stroking the smooth skin that was there.   
She didn't know what to think. She didn't know what was going on, feeling his  
large hands rubbing her in ways that no one has in years.  
  
pcenteri  
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for/br  
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for/br  
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for/br  
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for   
/i/center  
  
pPacey recalled their conversation from the first night he was back. She was  
looking for the romance of her life. That one person that made her happier than  
anyone should be aloud. In ways he hoped that he would never want to be that  
man for Joey. He never wanted to be the one that she wanted or loved, in his  
wife's memory, he couldn't. But everything else was telling him that there was no  
one else more right for her than him. No one else could ever understand her the  
way he could. No one else could love her the way he could. Love Joey? What  
was he thinking? He loved Veronica, and no one else. He never thought he could  
love someone the way he loved her, but it was getting harder to remember her face  
while looking at Joey.  
  
piI just want to stay like this forever/i she thought with a smile. She hadn't  
felt this safe and warm in years, and it was a long time in coming. She never  
wanted to move from his embrace, she never wanted to pull away from him, but  
the song had ended and a faster song was playing. But the two of them still softly  
swayed together. Pacey's hand moved down to the small of her back, sending  
shivers down her back?  
  
p"Are you cold, Jo?"  
  
pShe sighed against his chest, then looked up at him and smiled, "Nope.   
Surprisingly warm."  
  
phr  
pcenter  
To Be Continued...  
/center  



	8. Chapter 8~Always

  
pcenteri  
This Romeo is bleeding/br  
But you can't see his blood/br  
It's nothing but some feelings/br  
That this old dog kicked up /br  
/br  
It's been raining since you left me/br  
Now I'm drowning in the flood/br  
You see I've always been a fighter/br  
But without you I give up/br  
Now I can't sing a love song/br  
Like the way it's meant to be/br  
Well, I guess I'm not that good anymore/br  
But baby, that's just me /br  
/br  
And I will love you, baby - Always/br  
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always/br  
I'll be there till the stars don't shine/br  
Till the heavens burst and/br  
The words don't rhyme/br  
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind/br  
And I'll love you - Always /br  
/br  
Now your pictures that you left behind/br  
Are just memories of a different life/br  
Some that made us laugh, some that made us cry/br  
One that made you have to say good-bye/br  
What I'd give to run my fingers through your hair/br  
To touch your lips, to hold you near/br  
When you say your prayers try to understand/br  
I've made mistakes, I'm just a man /br  
/br  
When he holds you close, when he pulls you near/br  
When he says the words you've been needing to hear/br  
I'll wish I was him 'cause those words are mine/br  
To say to you till the end of time /br  
/br  
Yeah, I will love you baby - Always/br  
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always /br  
/br  
If you told me to cry for you/br  
I could/br  
If you told me to die for you/br  
I would/br  
Take a look at my face/br  
There's no price I won't pay/br  
To say these words to you/br  
Well, there ain't no luck/br  
In these loaded dice/br  
But baby if you give me just one more try/br  
We can pack up our old dreams/br  
And our old lives/br  
We'll find a place where the sun still shines /br  
/br  
And I will love you, baby - Always/br  
And I'll be there forever and a day - Always/br  
I'll be there till the stars don't shine/br  
Till the heavens burst and/br  
The words don't rhyme/br  
And I know when I die, you'll be on my mind/br  
And I'll love you - Always/br  
~Always/br  
~Bon Jovi/i/center  
  
pPacey drove to Joey's house. He kept casting sideways glances at her  
as he drove. Her sleeping form was curled up in the seat with his jacket  
wrapped around her arms. Jen was sleeping against Nick's chest, and he  
was looking out at the darkness that surrounded Capeside.   
  
pHe pulled up to her house and cut the engine on the car. Nick tried to  
wake Jen to no avail. He moved her over to his side of the car and  
scooped her small body into his arms. Pacey pulled Joey's keys out of her  
purse and unlocked the door for Nick. Pacey went back to the car and  
attempted to wake Joey. He got a few mumblings out of her, but she didn't  
wake up.  
  
pHe sighed and watched as Nick adjusted Jen's weight and walked into  
the house. Pacey moved around to the other side of his car and opened  
her door. He gently shook her, getting nothing.   
  
p"Joey. Wake up."  
  
pAgain, nothing.  
  
pHe took his jacket off her body and threw it onto his seat. He turned  
her gently, put one arm under her knees and the other behind her back and  
lifted her into his arms. She turned her body towards him in response,  
wrapping her arms around his neck, nuzzling her head into his shoulder.  
  
pHe carried her into her house then up her stairs. He pushed her  
bedroom door open with his foot, then turned the light switch on with his  
elbow. He walked over to her bed, stepping over a number of dresses that  
scattered the floor. He gently put her down on her bed, laying her head  
back in the pillows. He removed her shoes then pulled the covers up  
around her body.  
  
pJoey softly moaned in her sleep, then turned away from him. He stood  
and looked down at her, taking the sight in. Trying to understand what he  
was feeling for her. Every time he was around her now he was more  
confused than he's ever been in his life. She made him feel things that he  
didn't think he was ever supposed to feel again. She made him happy, she  
made him laugh, she made him feel things he hadn't felt since Veronica  
died.   
  
pHe stared down at her, her soft hair falling in her face, her long  
eyelashes resting against the paleness of her skin. Her soft lips parted, her  
small hands resting on her pillow. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful.   
The only thing he wanted was to kiss her. But he couldn't. His heart was  
still broken in pieces, and kissing Joey would be the wrong thing at the  
wrong time.  
  
pHe turned and walked out of her room, looking back one last time, then  
turned off the light and shut her door. He stood their, taking deep breaths.   
He wasn't aware that he had that sort of control over himself, but he was  
happy to know that he did. He walked down the stairs and out the front  
door. Nick had the back door of the car open, obviously looking for  
something.  
  
p"What did you lose?"  
  
p"Not me. Jen. She lost her purse...and I found it." He pulls out of the  
car and looks at Pacey. "You okay?"  
  
p"Not really. But I will be. Just been thinking about some stuff..."  
  
p"I know how that can be. Confused?"  
  
p"Very."  
  
p"Been there."  
  
p"Got any advise?"  
  
p"Follow your heart. I know that's cliched, but it's the best advise I can  
give you."  
  
p"Does it work? Following your heart?"  
  
p"If you didn't, do you think you would have married your wife and had  
your daughter. Look, sometimes it may not make any sense what you're  
feeling, and other times it may be too clear that you need to analyze it and  
make it not make sense, but most of the time, if you just go with what your  
heart is telling you, you can't go wrong."  
  
p"See, that's the thing, I'm not sure what's wrong or right anymore."  
  
p"Let me take a guess at what's bothering you. You are starting to get  
some sort of feelings for one Josephine Potter. And while you are torn  
between the memory of your wife and loyalty towards her you can't help but  
feel something for Joey."  
  
p"You're good."  
  
p"I'm a shrink. I should be."  
  
p"So, follow my heart. That's all you can tell me to do?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"Well, thanks. But right now, I don't think my heart is up for much of  
anything."  
  
p"I have a feeling, that within time, it will be."  
  
p"Thanks."  
  
p"I have a drunk wife to get in there to. See ya."  
  
p"Bye Nick."  
  
pNick walked back into the house, and Pacey was left standing in the  
driveway, staring up at the window for Joey's room. iFollow my heart.   
But what is it that my heart is feeling?/i  
  
pHe climbed into his car and drove home to an empty house. He walked  
in and tossed his jacket on the couch, and walked up the stairs to his  
bedroom. He tossed his clothes onto the floor then walked into his  
bathroom. He sat on the edge of the bathtub and put his head in his hands.   
He wiped his face and looked out at the bedroom. It was so empty. His  
house was empty. He was alone and there was nothing he could do about  
it.  
  
pHe sighed, stood and brushed his teeth. He walked back into the bed  
room and sat on the edge on the bed, not ready to go to sleep. He wished  
that Joey was sober and awake. He needed to talk to someone right now,  
and there was no one.   
  
pHe laid back in bed, folding his arms under his head and stared at the  
ceiling. He could feel her soft body still pressed against his, he could still  
smell her scent, feel the softness of her skin as his hands wandered over  
her back. He could still feel the intensity of her eyes. But it wasn't  
Veronica. It was Joey. The memory of their dance was still fresh on his  
mind. She was making him crazy. He would almost swear that the look in  
her eyes was one of desire. Did she desire him? Did she want to be with  
him?  
  
pHe closed his eyes, trying to see his wife's face. Trying to remember  
what it was like to hold her. Trying to remember the way it felt to make  
love to her. But he couldn't see her, all he could see was Joey. Why did  
she have to get under his skin? Why was it that whenever he saw her,  
reason flew out of the window?  
  
pHe finally started drifting off to sleep, seeing nothing but Joey. He  
decided not to fight what he was seeing. Joey was in the red bikini and  
wrap that she had. She was walking over to him, where he laid on the sand  
of the beach.  
  
pShe sat next to him, then smiled. She then leaned over, kissing him  
the way he'd wanted to kiss her tonight. He ran his hands through the dark  
strands of her hair, moving one hand down her back, feeling the softness of  
her skin under his hand.  
  
pShe pulled away only to climb on top of him, then moved back to his  
mouth, kissing him again. Her hands moved down his chest touching his  
body. He sighed as she moved her kisses to his neck. He moved his  
hands down to her behind, finding her naked. He opened his eyes and  
looked around. It was her bedroom, and they were both naked, kissing  
under the sheets.  
  
pAs he pulled his mouth away from her to breathe, he looked over at the  
door, seeing his wife, wide-eyed, stunned. He quickly pulled away from  
Joey as tears streamed down Veronica's face.  
  
p"YOU LIED, PACEY! YOU SAID YOU WOULD ONLY LOVE ME!" she  
screamed.  
  
p"Ronnie...I'm sorry."  
  
p"YOU NEVER LOVED ME!"  
  
p"I did...I do love you."  
  
pShe sank into the floor and cried, "You said you would love me forever.   
You said I was the only woman you would ever love. The only woman you  
would ever make love to for the rest of your life."  
  
p"I'm sorry, Ronnie," he said as tears streamed down his own face.  
  
p"You lied to me, Pacey."   
  
pHe went to her, to wrap his arms around her and hold her, but she  
disappeared when he reached for her. He turned back to the bed to see  
Joey sleeping the way she was that night. He looked back to the spot  
where his wife had been, nothing.  
  
pPacey sat up in bed, covered in sweat. His head was pounding, his  
heart was racing. His body had reacted to the thought of making love to  
Joey, and he quickly got out of bed and went to his bathroom. He turned  
the cold water on and stripped out of his boxers. He stepped under the  
cold stream, feeling the coldness of the water hit his body like needles. He  
managed to get himself under control, then turned the hot water on.  
  
pThe thought of her crying, hurting because of him only made him ache  
more. The tears streamed down his face, thinking about the loss he was  
still suffering through. He just wanted it to all end. He wanted answers for  
why he lost her in the first place. He wanted to know why he was feeling  
what he was feeling for Joey. He wanted to know if there would ever be a  
point in his life where he wouldn't constantly hurt from wanting her back.  
  
phr  
  
pThe shrill ringing of the phone woke Joey up. Her head was pounding  
like it hadn't in years. She rolled over and picked up the phone.  
  
p"h...h'lo?"  
  
p"Joey?"  
  
p"Pacey?"  
  
p"Yeah. I need to talk to someone, and I know you're hung over and  
all..."  
  
p"No..no...it's, it's okay. So what's wrong?"  
  
p"I had a really bad dream."  
  
p"Do you want me to check your closet for monsters?" she said with a  
slight smile.  
  
p"You know what...I'll call back later..." he said irritated.  
  
p"I was kidding. I'm listening."  
  
p"I dreamed...well, I dreamed that I was making love to this...woman.   
And the next thing I know, Veronica is standing in the door screaming that I  
never loved her. That I lied to her..." his voice cracked with emotion.  
  
p"God, I'm so sorry, Pacey. I know that there are no words to say to  
make that not hurt."  
  
p"It's literally killing me Joey."  
  
p"What time is it?"  
  
p"9:30."  
  
p"Why don't you come over for breakfast and we can talk."  
  
p"Okay."  
  
p"See you in a few. Oh, and Pacey..."  
  
p"Yeah?"  
  
p"How did I get in my bed?"  
  
pHe laughed, "Bye Joey."  
  
pHe hung up. She smiled as he hung up. She slowly climbed out of bed  
and went into her bathroom. She stripped out of her dress, washed off her  
make up, took out her ear rings, then pulled her hair up in a messy bun.   
She went into her bedroom and pulled on a pair of jogging pants and a gray  
tank shirt. She padded out into the hallway and down the stairs. She  
looked into the kitchen to find Nick sitting at her kitchen table drinking  
coffee and reading her news paper.  
  
p"Well, morning Jo."  
  
p"Morning Nick. Nice to see you've made yourself at home."  
  
p"Well, I didn't think you would be up for another hour or two. And I  
wasn't waiting that long for coffee."  
  
p"I'm just messing with you." Walks to her coffee pot with her mug. "So,  
Jen is still asleep?"  
  
p"Yep. And my guess is that she will be for a while."  
  
p"Pacey's coming over."  
  
p"Was that who was on the phone?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"I was going to answer it, but I figured that when the phone stopped  
ringing you answered it."  
  
p"Yeah." She walks to the table and sits next to him. "So, did you or  
Pacey carry me to my room?"  
  
p"He did. I had my hands full with Jen." He looked over the paper at  
her. "You like him don't you?"  
  
p"What are you talking about?"  
  
p"You like Pacey."  
  
pJoey scoffed, "You are way off."  
  
p"Okay, you love Pacey."  
  
pShe sighed, "Have you been talking to your wife?"  
  
p"Yeah. Can you tell?"  
  
p"She has a big mouth."  
  
p"Yes she does. But I tell her everything too, so..."  
  
p"It's good that the two of you have that kind of closeness."  
  
p"Yes it is. But don't try to change the subject."  
  
p"I'm not. So, I'm in love with Pacey. Big deal."  
  
p"To you it is."  
  
p"Yes to me it is...I don't know what's wrong with me. Why do I always  
fall for the wrong guy?"  
  
p"No one's saying that he's the wrong guy for you. It's just bad timing."  
  
p"No kidding. I mean, I fall in love with a guy who's not over his wife."  
  
p"How long has it been since she died?"  
  
p"About seven months I think."  
  
p"Give him time, Jo."  
  
p"I'm trying Nick." The knock at the door made Joey groan. "Remind me  
to take some Tylenol when I come back into the kitchen."  
  
pJoey stood and walked into the living room and opened the door. She  
smiled up at him as she leaned against the door. She squinted against the  
bright sun. She moved to the side and he walked into the house. She  
closed the door. Pacey followed her into the kitchen and he greeted Nick  
who was placing his mug in the sink and walking out of the kitchen.  
  
p"Coffee?" Joey asked.  
  
p"Sure, let me get it." He moved to the cabinet with the mugs and pulled  
out two as Joey sat at the table and laid her head on her folded arms.   
Pacey opened the cabinet over the sink and took the bottle of Tylenol. He  
poured the coffee. He then moved to the table and set the medication and  
coffee in front of her.  
  
pShe sat up and poured sugar into the cup. She stirred her coffee, and  
then looked over at Pacey. She took a deep breath, wanting nothing but to  
ease the hurt he must be feeling.  
  
p"So, tell me about this dream," she said softly as she opened the bottle  
of pills.  
  
p"Well, like I said, I dreamed I was with this other woman and Ronnie  
was standing there, screaming at me that I didn't love her."  
  
pShe took the pills, then turned back to look at him, "Do you know the  
woman or is it just a fantasy type deal?"  
  
p"Does it matter?"  
  
p"Yeah. If it's someone you know, and may possibly be attracted to,  
then it could be your sub-conscious telling you that you shouldn't be feeling  
what you are feeling."  
  
p"And if it's a fantasy woman?"  
  
p"Then it's just your hormones and them playing a trick on you. So  
which one was it?"  
  
pPacey took a sip of his coffee, then looked over at her curious eyes.   
"Uh...fantasy."  
  
pJoey's heart fell into the pit of her stomach. Why did she get her hopes  
up about it possibly being her? Was she that crazy? She took another sip  
of her coffee.  
  
p"Was it good?"  
  
pHe looked at her shocked, "What?"  
  
p"The dream...up until the point of your wife...were you enjoying the it?"  
  
pPacey laughed nervously, "I feel a little uncomfortable telling you about  
sexual fantasies."  
  
p"Hey...you were talking about the dream, I just happened to ask a  
question about it."  
  
p"You tell me about one of yours and I will tell you about the one I had."  
  
pJoey shook her head. "No way am I telling you."  
  
p"Then neither am I."  
  
p"It's too early and my head hurts too badly to argue with you."  
  
p"That's what you get for drinking a bottle of champagne by yourself."  
  
p"Jen helped."  
  
pHe shook his head. "Nope, I believe that you and Jen had a bottle  
each, while Nick and I were lucky if we got a glass out of either."  
  
p"Well why don't you just bitch about it."  
  
P"I'm not. I'm just stating the facts so you can get your story straight."  
  
pShe shrugged, "So, Jen and I were drunk...but that always happens  
when she comes to town. It's like I become an alcoholic when she's here,"  
she said laughing.  
  
p"That's not good."  
  
p"I'm exaggerating."  
  
p"I know."  
  
pShe smiled, "Most of the time, it's Nick carrying the both of us into the  
house while we are passed out."  
  
p"A lot of men would try to take advantage of that situation."  
  
p"Thank God Nick is not a lot of men. You too for that matter. Thank  
you for carrying me in last night."  
  
p"Welcome."  
  
pJoey heard feet pad across the hardwood floors of her living room and  
turned to see Jen in a pair of pajama pants and a black sports bra. She  
moved right to the coffee cups, took one, filled it, then joined Pacey and  
Joey at the table.  
  
p"Morning, Jenny," Pacey said with a smile. "Did you enjoy your bottle  
of champagne?"  
  
p"I'll tell you when my headache goes away." She looked at the two of  
them, then specifically at Joey, "So, what are the two of you talking about?"  
  
pPacey smirked, "Sexual fantasies."  
  
pJen raised her eyebrows. "Really?" she looked at Joey who was  
staring at her hands. "And has Joey filled you in on any of hers?"  
  
p"No, but seeing as how you are her best friend, maybe you would share  
with me."  
  
p"And why do you want to know, Pacey?" Jen said with a smile.  
  
p"So I can tease her."  
  
pJen took a deep breath, then exhaled slowly, she tilted her head and  
looked at him seriously, "No."  
  
p"Come on, Jenny. Share with me..."  
  
p"Jen you do and I tell Nick what you did at a frat house," Joey said,  
glaring in Jen's direction.  
  
p"Sorry, Pacey. Can't tell you."  
  
p"What could you have possibly done in a frat house?"  
  
pJen smirked, "It involved whip cream, a girl and my toes."  
  
pPacey's eyes went wide, "Did you let a girl eat whip cream off your  
toes?"  
  
p"That's not all she did."  
  
pShe threw a napkin at Joey but smiled, "Shut up. And since you can't  
keep your mouth closed...Joey likes water."  
  
p"You bitch!"  
  
p"Love you too." Jen stood and put her empty mug into the sink. "Nick  
and I are going to the beach. You guys are welcome to join us."  
  
p"I'll go...but I need to find my sunglasses," Joey said, still trying to  
contain the redness of her cheeks.  
  
p"Count me in too. Without Sam here, I feel kind of lost."  
  
p"Well...I need to go unpack my suit," Jen said as she walked out of the  
kitchen.  
  
pPacey turned to Joey and smiled, "You have a thing for water, huh?"  
  
p"I hate her."  
  
p"I won't tease you, I swear."  
  
pShe shook her head. She couldn't believe she was about to tell Pacey  
about one of her fantasies, "I just always thought it would be nice to be in  
like a hot tub, or a pool or something and kiss, not necessarily have sex,  
but just the being close part."  
  
p"Doesn't sound bad to me," he said with a smile.  
  
p"Really?"  
  
p"Really."  
  
pShe took a deep breath, trying very hard to steady her breathing. She  
looked up and saw his smile, and returned it. She stood up from the chair  
she was sitting in and looked around her spotless kitchen. "Okay, I also  
need to get ready for the beach."  
  
pHe stood also, staring down at her. The thought of seeing Joey in one  
of her many revealing bikinis was something he was greatly looking  
forward to.   
  
pHe walked to the door and she followed. He opened it, then turned  
back to her, "So what time do I need to be back here?"  
  
p"How's fifteen minutes?" He nodded then walked off her front porch.   
She closed the door and ran up the stairs to her bed room. She went  
through every suit she owned and finally settled on the red one that she'd  
worn before and received such an appreciative look for. She pulled on a  
pair of her too short cut offs and a white tee shirt. She checked herself in  
the mirror, taking a deep breath. She was going through all of this trouble  
for a guy who didn't really notice that she was a woman. Her life was  
pathetic.  
  
pShe let her hair down and ran her hair brush through it, then pulled it up  
into a pony tail. The knock on her bedroom door surprised her and she  
walked to answer it.  
  
pJen stood in front of her, smiling, "So, going to the beach with Pacey?"  
  
p"And you and Nick."  
  
p"I notice how he just seemed so willing to go after you said you were."  
  
p"He's lonely without his daughter, don't read to much into this and  
cause me to do the same."  
  
pJen sighed and moved into her room and sat on her bed. She looked  
at the clutter of bathing suits scattered over the floor, then up at Joey,  
"Have a hard time deciding what to wear?"  
  
pJoey sighed and took a seat next to Jen, then laid back, staring at the  
ceiling, "Please tell me I'm not crazy."  
  
p"You're not crazy."  
  
pJoey turned to look at her, "Okay, now, tell me what you really think."  
  
pJen looked down at her friend, feeling badly for her, "I think that it's  
good that you found someone that you can love."  
  
p"But bad that he doesn't love me."  
  
p"You don't know that."  
  
p"Jen, weren't you the one that told me that I should prepare myself for  
the possibility of it never happening between the two of us? I mean, that  
was you right, because I would hate to know that I mixed you up with  
someone else."  
  
p"Yes, I did tell you that," she said smirking, "but given that I had no idea  
that Pacey looked at you the way he did, I was in no position to judge the  
situation."  
  
p"Look at me how?" Joey asked inquisitive.  
  
pJen shook her head, "Never mind."  
  
p"No! No you said something...fess up."  
  
pJen tilted her head when she started speaking, "Well, he may have  
been looking at you like he...."  
  
p"He what?"  
  
p"He wanted you."  
  
pJoey sat up and looked over at her friend, "Like he wanted me?" she  
asked skeptically, "Like he wanted me? Well, I guess I should be happy  
with that, but I'm not. Because no matter how much he wants me, he  
doesn't ilove/i me Jen. And that's what I want."  
  
pJen sighed, "I know. But at least it's a start. He wants you. Who  
knows what else he thinks."  
  
p"I don't want to know what he thinks, I want to know how he feels."  
  
pJen smirked, "I can't help you there. I wish I could, but sorry."  
  
p"I know. He should be here in a few minutes."  
  
pJen nodded and walked over to the mirror that hung above Joey's  
dresser. She brushed one of the curls away from her face then turned back  
to Joey. She looked over at Joey who was still sitting on the bed, looking  
solemnly at the floor, "Everything will work out, Joey. Just have a little  
faith."  
  
p"This from the girl who doesn't believe in God," she said in a huff.  
  
pJen merely smiled and ignored the snippy comment sent in her  
direction. Nick peeked his head into Joey's room, "Is it safe to enter?"  
  
p"Sure, come in Nick," Joey said with a smile.  
  
pNick smiled at Joey then walked to his wife. He wrapped his arms  
around her waist and they turned to look at Joey. "Nick, will you please tell  
Joey that everything will work out?" Jen said, pressing her back into his  
chest.  
  
pHe smiled, "Jen's right, everything's going to be okay."  
  
p"How can you be so sure?"  
  
p"What, with two pessimists in this room....I have to remain the  
optimistic one."  
  
p"I'm not a pessimist. I'm...bitter."  
  
pJen looked up at Nick's smiling face, "Same thing isn't it?"  
  
pThe doorbell broke them out of their conversation. Jen and Nick left  
the room and Joey slipped on her sandals and followed. She let out a  
deep sigh as she walked down the stairs. Waiting for Pacey to come  
around was going to take all the patience she had. She knew that for sure.   
But was there actually a possibility that he could somehow feel the same  
way about her? She walked to the edge of the stairs, listening to him talk  
to Jen and Nick.   
  
pThe sound of his voice made her ache for him. Tears sprang to her  
eyes, thinking about what it would be like to spend the rest of her life loving  
and wanting a person who would never feel the same way about her. It was  
just too much to take. But she knew she had to. She put on a brave face,  
then walked down the stairs to her best friend, her husband, and the man  
she loved.  
  
pcenter  
TO BE CONTINUED  
/center 


	9. Chapter 9~Waiting For You

font size="6"New Life/font br  
font size="5"Part 9~Waiting For You/fontp  
  
pOceans apart day after daybr  
And I slowly go insanebr  
I hear your voice on the linebr  
But it doesn't stop the painbr  
br  
If I see you next to neverbr  
How can we say foreverbr  
br  
Wherever you gobr  
Whatever you dobr  
I will be right here waiting for youbr  
Whatever it takesbr  
Or how my heart breaksbr  
I will be right here waiting for youbr  
br  
I took for granted, all the timesbr  
That I though would last somehowbr  
I hear the laughter, I taste the tearsbr  
But I can't get near you nowbr  
br  
Oh, can't you see it babybr  
You've got me goin' crazybr  
br  
Wherever you gobr  
Whatever you dobr  
I will be right here waiting for youbr  
Whatever it takesbr  
Or how my heart breaksbr  
I will be right here waiting for youbr  
br  
I wonder how we can survivebr  
This romancebr  
But in the end if I'm with youbr  
I'll take the chancebr  
br  
Oh, can't you see it babybr  
You've got me goin' crazybr  
br  
Wherever you gobr  
Whatever you dobr  
I will be right here waiting for youbr  
Whatever it takesbr  
Or how my heart breaksbr  
I will be right here waiting for youbr  
~Richard Marxbr  
~Right Here Waiting For You/i  
/center  
pThe week was almost up, and she would have one day alone before Noah  
came home. She missed him so much some times. But Jen and Nick were there to  
help occupy her time, but seeing the two of them being cute together only made  
her resent them, and she reminded herself that there was nothing she could do  
about it.   
  
pShe stood in her kitchen and looked out the back windows at the pool. The  
fading sun danced over the water, casting shadows onto the ceiling of the kitchen  
in the house. She just stood there, her arms crossed over her chest, staring out at  
the sereneness of the water floating in the pool.  
  
pJen stepped next to her, and neither said a word. They both just looked out at  
the water. Jen then turned to her friend and noticed the sad look on her face.   
  
p"Joey Potter, what are we going to do with you?"  
  
pJoey looked over at Jen, not knowing what she meant, "What?"  
  
p"You can not mope around all the time. Especially not when he is coming  
over here for dinner. You have to learn to let go a little. Don't be so afraid of  
him."  
  
p"I'm not afraid of him."  
  
p"Then why are you always so uptight around him?"  
  
p"I'm not."  
  
p"You are. You need to learn how to let go, and just enjoy that he's here."  
  
p"Thank you oh wise one."  
  
p"Honestly Joey, you can't mope around all the time. You can't force him to  
love you."  
  
pJoey sighed, "I know." She turned away from the window and walked over to  
her stove to stir the alfredo sauce. "Jen, am I completely pathetic?"  
  
p"No. Not at all. You are a very stong woman who is raising a man. A good  
man."  
  
p"Unlike the piece of shit his father is."  
  
pJen sighed, "But you know...you are doing better now than you ever did with  
him. You are your own person now Joey Potter, and you should be very proud of  
that."  
  
p"I am." she said with a smile.  
  
pJen nodded and smiled at Nick as he walked into the kitchen. "When do we  
eat?"  
  
p"When the food is ready, Nick."  
  
p"Come on Joey, can't I have a bite?"  
  
pHe picked up a spoon and walked over towards her alfredo sauce. Joey  
snatched it out of his hand, "Listen here, you stay out of my sauce. I know Jen  
doesn't mind sharing germs with you, but I do not care to have that experience."  
  
pHe poked his bottom lip out and looked up at Joey, "You know, you aren't a  
very nice person."  
  
p"I am nice."  
  
p"On occassion."  
  
pJoey cut her eyes at Nick, "Look, boy, I would hate to stab you in the head  
with this spoon but I will if you do not get out of this kitchen."  
  
pNick looked over at Jen and smiled, "Did you hear that? She just threatened  
your husband."  
  
p"Somehow, I don't think it was a threat as much as a promise."  
  
pNick shook his head and moved to sit at the kitchen table. "You know, I  
would say that you are possibly the meanest host ever."  
  
p"At least I'm the best at something, huh?" she said laughing.  
  
pJen smirked at Nick, "Poor Nicky got his feelings hurt." She moved across the  
room to sit in his lap. She ran her fingers through his blonde hair, the leaned in  
and whispered something that obviously peaked his interest.  
  
p"Uh...excuse us Joey."  
  
pJoey nodded as Nick and Jen left the room and went upstairs, she sighed and  
then heard the front door open. Joey tried to hide the smile, knowing that it was  
Pacey. He'd gotten into the habbit of walking in instead of knocking.  
  
pHe walked into the kitchen and she noticed the black silk bowling shirt he was  
wearing. It clung to his arms the same way his blue jeans clung to his rear. He  
smiled at her and walked over to the island in her kitchen. He leaned over, looking  
into the pot, propping his elbows on the counter.  
  
p"You know, that almost looks edible."  
  
pShe smiled, "You aren't eating this. There's a can of dog food in the pantry  
that you will be eating."  
  
pPacey laughed, then looked around. "Where are the love birds?"  
  
pJoey sighed, "Upstairs."  
  
pPacey raised an eyebrow at her, "Really?"  
  
p"Yep. Right before you got here..."  
  
p"Are you okay?"  
  
p"Yeah...I mean...they're trying to have a baby, so..."  
  
p"You miss it don't you?"  
  
pJoey looked at him oddly, but she knew what he meant, "Miss what?"  
  
p"Having someone."  
  
pJoey shrugged. "I guess. Don't you?"  
  
p"All the time."  
  
p"So it's not that unusual for me to miss having someone to talk to, or listen to,  
or miss kissing and holding or just..."  
  
p"Love."  
  
pJoey sighed, "Yeah."  
  
pPacey looked at her with those blue eyes that turned her insides to mush. "I  
understand. Better than you think."  
  
p"It just...it gets lonly."  
  
p"You have Noah."  
  
p"Yeah. I have Noah. But there's only so many topics you can carry on with a  
five year old. Cartoons, toys, swimming and then you run out of things. I miss  
having an adult conversation..."  
  
p"And what am I? Chopped liver?"  
  
pShe smiled, "You're about as slimy."  
  
pPacey chuckled, "Thanks Jo. You know just how to make a person feel  
loved."  
  
pJoey smiled at him, taking the chicken out of the oven. She set the pan on two  
awaiting pot holders then moved back to stir her sauce. "So, do you need any  
help?"  
  
pJoey looked up and once again got lost in his eyes. She quickly diverted her  
eyes and tried to regain her thinking. "Uh...yeah. Can you set the table, please?"  
  
pPacey nodded and moved to get the things out of the cabinets. After spending  
months at Joey's for various reasons, he had soon realized that she didn't mind if  
he just made himself at home. As a matter of fact, she told him to. The two  
worked silently around the kitchen.   
  
pAs Pacey moved to get the silverwear he turned and bumped in to Joey.   
Neither moved for several seconds, just standing in the middle of her kitchen,  
staring at one another. Joey could feel his warm breath on her face and longed to  
pull him in to kiss her. To quelch the ache she was feeling from being so close to  
him. He raised his hand to her cheek, lightly brushing her skin, but pulled away  
when Jen and Nick walked into the kitchen laughing. Joey blushed as Pacey  
moved away, his back to all of them as he took a deep breath. He felt something  
so electric in her eyes. Something that sent his blood boiling. God, he didn't think  
he would ever need anyone as badly as he needed her in that tiny space of a  
second. He shook his head and turned back to his friend.  
  
p"Nick, can you get the wine out of the fridge?" Joey asked softly, still trying to  
recover from her moment with Pacey.  
  
pJen propped herself on her elbows next to Joey, leaning in to whisper to her  
friend, "What has you all flushed?" smiling slightly.  
  
pJoey shook her head. "Nothing," Joey said back softly.  
  
pJoey put the food in bowls and plates, then turned to the other three, "Let's  
eat."  
  
phr  
  
pDinner was rather uneventful, just the four of the eating. They moved into the  
living room where a conversation began about Noah and Sam. Pacey pulled out  
his wallet and handed Jen a picture of his daughter.  
  
p"Pacey, she's beautiful."  
  
pHe smiled, "Yes she is. I'm afraid that when she's 16 I will have my hands  
full."  
  
PNick nodded, "She has your eyes."  
  
p"Yeah. And I think she has my nose," he said with a short laugh.  
  
pJen nodded. "She's not like you is she? You know...annoying?"  
  
pPacey smirked, "Not hardly. Although...she has my stubbornness."  
  
p"Noah got that from Joey...didn't he Jo."  
  
P"I am not stubborn."  
  
pThe three looked at her, Jen was the first to speak, "Let's move away from her  
before lightening crashes through that window and strikes her down."  
  
P"Okay..so maybe I am a little stubborn."  
  
P"That's an understatement," Nick said with a smile.  
  
p"Why are all of you picking on me? I didn't do anything to you."  
  
p"Because, Joey, you are an easy target," Pacey said smiling.  
  
pJoey smirked, "Watch it Pacey."  
  
pJen looked over at Nick then back over at Joey and Pacey who were staring at  
each other. Jen was still kicking herself for interrupting Pacey and Joey earlier.   
She'd see Pacey's hand on her cheek and hated that she and Nick had interrupted  
their little moment. But she played dumb, hoping to see what Joey's reaction  
would be. And it was just what she thought; Joey's face flushed and had ignored  
her questions. But now, looking at the two of them, she realized that if she wanted  
to make it up to Joey, she and Nick should leave the room and give them the  
chance of making something happen.  
  
pJen grabbed Nick's hand and stood, "If you will excuse us, we are going to  
bed."  
  
pNick looked up at her, "We are?"  
  
pJen winked at him, "We are."  
  
pThe two watched as Jen and Nick went upstairs. Pacey smiled over at Joey  
then settled back on the couch. Joey picked up her glass and finished her wine.   
Pacey lifted the bottle and she shook her head.  
  
p"I've had enough. I won't be able to make it up the stairs if I drink anything  
else tonight."  
  
pPacey laughed which brought a smile to Joey's face. Pacey cocked his head to  
the side and poked her in the arm. "What's up with you?"  
  
p"What do you mean?"  
  
p"I mean...how's your life?"  
  
pJoey nodded, "It's good. But I mean, you see me every day, so you would kind  
of know, Pacey."  
  
p"Yeah, but, I'm talking about your love life."  
  
pJoey snorted, "What love life? My life consists of a five and a half year old  
little boy and a restaurant. I have no love life."  
  
pPacey raised his eyebrows at her, "You sound bitter Joey," he said, downing  
his wine.  
  
p"Bitter? Me? No..." she said sarcastically. "What I really want is just for one  
guy to sweep me off my feet. Literally. I mean, I want the fairy tale."  
  
p"What fairy tale?"  
  
p"Any one that ends up the damsel in distress being rescued by the prince and  
they life happily ever after. That's what every little girl wants from the first time  
she watches Cinderella. That's the dream that they all chase."  
  
pPacey stared at her. He never knew that. In some way he knew it was true,  
but he never actually heard any of them say it before.   
  
p"Do you think that's what Sam wants?"  
  
p"Good chance of it. The only thing is she's too young to realize that is an  
impossible relationship," she said as she stood and walked into the kitchen.  
  
pPacey followed, eager to hear more about this. It wasn't every day you got a  
look into the female psyche. "Why is it impossible?"  
  
pJoey turned and looked at him, "Because, no one can really be happy all the  
time, which is what they are leading you to believe."  
  
p"You don't believe in happily ever after?"  
  
pShe let out a slight giggle, "You sound surprised."  
  
p"Well, you just said that's what every girl wanted."  
  
p"It is. But that doesn't mean that it will happen."  
  
p"Because no one is happy all the time. I know."  
  
pJoey sighed before she continued, "And no one needs to be rescued all the  
time. You can't always be the damsel in distress and you can't always be the  
knight in shining armor."  
  
pPacey looked down at the floor, then back up at Joey. "So are you losing all  
hope that you will find your prince?"  
  
pJoey caught his eyes in a gaze that almost knocked her off her feet. She gave a  
slight half smile and whispered, "No."  
  
pPacey nodded, never breaking his gaze with Joey. The intensity in which she  
was looking at him made him want to hold her more than he already did. "Joey."  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"You can tell me if I'm way out of line here...but I am...going to explode if I  
don't kiss you."  
  
pPacey moved across the little space between them as Joey stared up at him.   
"You want to kiss me?"  
  
p"Is that not okay?"  
  
p"No..it is."  
  
pPacey pulled on a whisp of her hair, then moved his hand to her cheek,  
smoothing his thumb over the pink flesh. He leaned down, placing his lips to hers  
and feeling her melt under his lips. Her hands snaked around to behind his neck,  
pulling his mouth closer to hers. She was surprised to feel his tongue against her  
lips and she willingly opened her mouth and met his with her own. His hands  
moved from her face down to her back, feeling the skin exposed by her dress.  
  
pPacey pulled away, kissing down her jawline. Joey sighed as she ran her  
fingers through his thick brown hair. She began pulling him by the shirt into the  
living room, and the two fell onto the couch, Pacey continued to kiss down her  
neck, his hand sliding under the sundress she was wearing.  
  
p"Oh God, Pacey."  
  
pSuddenly he pulled away, looking horrified. Joey stared up at him, more  
confused than ever. "What am I doing?" he whispered.  
  
p"Pacey..."  
  
pHe shook his head, then rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his  
hands. Joey sat up, trying to hold back the tears that she knew were coming to the  
surface. They had just messed everything up.  
  
p"I have to go," he said standing quickly. She nodded, and didn't turn to watch  
him leave. She heard the door close and shut her eyes, forcing the tears not to  
stream down her face, but she quickly lost that battle. Hot tears fell from her eyes  
as she saw the headlights of his car on her ceiling. She went upstairs and into her  
bedroom, shutting the door behind her and sank to the floor. That was it, she had  
lost him and any hope she could have for their future together.   
  
phr  
  
pPacey's drive home was filled with visions of a confused Joey. One minute he  
was telling her that he would explode if he didn't kiss her and the next he is  
running out the door the second he realized that he wanted her more than he  
thought he could. Not only that, in those few minutes he was kissing her, he had  
forgotten about Veronica. He'd forgotten what she looked like, what she felt like,  
he couldn't even remember the sound of her voice.  
  
pWhen he'd slid his hand up her dress, he remembered the dream he'd had of  
Veronica screaming at him that he'd never loved her. He couldn't hurt her like  
that. He couldn't do that to her memory.   
  
pBut God, he'd wanted to forget everything going on in life right then but her.   
Her skin was so soft and her kisses were so needy and he never wanted that  
moment to end, but reality reared it's ugly head.  
  
pHe'd arrived home, but didn't get out of his car. He just sat there, staring up at  
the dark house. He pulled back out of his drive way and drove towards the beach.   
He just needed to think. He needed to be on neutral ground and think about what  
he did and why he did it.  
  
pHe parked across the street and climbed out of the car. He walked across the  
street and stared out at the dark night sky. He walked down to the sand and took a  
seat, just looking out over the ocean and thinking.   
  
pWhat happened tonight scared him to no end. He didn't know what to do or to  
think any more. When he was kissing Joey, he wasn't thinking. Everything had  
just disappeared out of his head, she was the only thing that mattered then. But  
not so long ago, it had been another woman that he'd given his life to had made  
him feel the same way.  
  
pHe put his head in his hands and tried to clear his mind of the image of Joey  
laying beneath him, kissing him with such intensity it nearly took his breath from  
him. He could still taste her lips, her tongue, and he quickly shook his head, trying  
to erase all of that from his head. But it kept drifting back to how she felt, her  
body crushed against his. He'd felt that familiar ache he'd been feeling recently in  
regards to Joey. The scariest thing of all, he didn't think he's ever wanted anyone  
as badly as he'd wanted her. Not even Veronica. And that hurt. He didn't want to  
feel this way for anyone again, least of all Joey. She was his best friend and he'd  
probably just ruined that by running out of her house after they'd...he felt the  
onslaught of tears but he refused to let them spill. He didn't want to cry. He does  
that too often.  
  
pBut he had to figure out how he felt about Joey. If he didn't, he would go  
insane. As much as he didn't want to think about it, the more it echoed in his ears.   
Why did he have to kiss her tonight? Why couldn't he have just left things the way  
they were? He'd probably sent her mixed signals and made her feel rejected  
tonight, and that's not what he did. He didn't want to reject her, as a matter of fact,  
he initiated the whole thing and wanted her, just the emotions of wanting her made  
him forget Veronica and for that he was a horrible person. How could he forget  
someone that meant the world to him? How could he forget the mother of his  
child?   
  
pAnd Joey. God he'd probably proven to her that he was a world class dick. If  
only she could know how much he wanted her, how much he had needed her...but  
she was probably angry at him for leading her on, for ruining their friendship  
because of some...what kind of feeling was it? Was it pure lust? Was it love?   
Was it an overwhelming attraction? He knew what it was. It was a mixture of  
understanding, want, attraction, and...love. He did love her. But he'd never  
thought of it in any way other than friendship, but the events of tonight lead him to  
re-evaluate his feelings for her.   
  
pOver the last three months, Joey has done nothing but help him. She's been  
there to listen to him, to help him with Sam, to just talk to him when he had no one  
else. She's been his friend and his confidant, and that meant more to him than  
anything. But he was sure that this had ruined all of that. He closed his eyes and  
took in a deep breath. He's probably thrown away his relationship with his best  
friend and it was tearing him apart.   
  
pHe couldn't help but feel like the lowest human being in the world. What if  
she didn't feel the same way about him? Of course she wasn't in love with him,  
but what if she'd wanted him just as badly as he'd wanted her? Was it possible?   
Could she had needed his touch as much as he'd needed hers? He stood up and  
walked back to his car. He needed to sleep. He needed to sleep and think and beg  
Joey for forgiveness after he ruined their friendship.  
  
phr  
  
pThe shrill ringing of the phone woke her up. She looked up from her place on  
the floor and remembered the events of last night and a new set of tears began  
streaming down her face. She quickly swiped them away and reached for the  
phone.   
  
p"Hello?"  
  
p"Joey I need to talk to you."  
  
piOh now you want to talk instead of running out like someone lit a fire  
under your ass/i, she thought. "What about?"  
  
p"I'd rather talk to you in person."  
  
piI really don't want to see him right now./i "Whatever you have to say to  
me you can say it on the phone."  
  
pHe seemed to stall a bit, not expecting the harshness in her tone, and she didn't  
mean for it to sound the way it came out. "I just...I want to appologize."  
  
pJoey thought for a minute. iHe's appologizing, which means that it never  
should have happened and that he didn't just panic. I can't believe this./i  
  
p"Joey?"  
  
p"Yeah...I'm here."  
  
p"I'm sorry."  
  
p"What exactly is it you're sorry for? The kissing me part or the leaving part?   
Because, to tell you the truth...the kissing part was fine with me. In fact, I rather  
enjoyed it, but I didn't enjoy the part where you left a Pacey size hole in my door  
from your speedy retreat." He was silent, "I'm not mad that you kissed me," she  
said softly, "I'm not. I'm not mad at all...just hurt that you left without even saying  
so much as why. And I don't feel like talking about this anymore."  
  
pShe hung the phone up. She looked up at the ceiling, wondering how she ever  
got her self in this situation. She climed into her bed and pulled the covers around  
her body. She cried into her pillow, trying to muffle the sound. All she wanted  
was him, but she was angry.   
  
pThe knock on her bedroom door caused her to wipe her face and try to  
compose herself. Jen opened the door an noticed the red streaks down her face  
and the large bags under her eyes.  
  
p"What happened?" she asked, closing the door behind her.  
  
pJoey sighed and rubbed her face. "Pacey kissed me last night."  
  
pJen looked at her friend, "Well, that's obviously not the reason you've been  
crying, so why don't you tell me what happened."  
  
pJoey sat up, her comforter wrapped around her shoulders, "We were standing  
in the kitchen talking, he told me he wanted to kiss me, he did, we moved into the  
living room on the couch and the next thing I know, he's freaking out and leaving  
so fast it would make your head spin."  
  
p"So that's why you're so upset. He left."  
  
p"No only did he leave...he didn't even say why, Jen."  
  
pJen noted the irriatation in her voice. "I take it you are angry."  
  
p"No...yes...kind of. Shouldn't I be? I mean, he kissed me...he was groping  
me..."  
  
p"And I'm sure you screamed 'no' the whole time. Honestly Joey, are you angry  
at him for leaving or are you angry because you actually, somewhat, gave in to  
how you feel about him?"  
  
pThe tears rolled down her cheeks, "It just hurts, that's all."  
  
p"I know."  
  
pJen embraced her friend, giving her the shoulder to cry on that she so  
desperatly needed. Joey's body heaved with her unsteady breathing as Jen  
smoothed down her brown hair.   
  
p"I can't help that I love him Jen..." she said through broken sobs.  
  
p"I know, Joey. But, it hasn't been that long since his wife passed away..."  
  
p"I know that. But he...he shouldn't have..."  
  
p"Would you have kissed him if he hadn't beaten you to it?"  
  
pJoey shook her head, "No."  
  
p"You would have eventually. Maybe it's good that the two of you go through  
this now...instead of down the road, when your children are here and could have  
seen that. What would they think if they had seen the two of you kissing and then  
see Pacey freak out about it?"  
  
pJoey shrugged and pulled away from Jen. "He called me this morning."  
  
p"What did he say?"  
  
p"He said he was sorry."  
  
p"See."  
  
p"I blew up at him."  
  
pJen sighed. "That's the Joey Potter I know...respond first, think later. What  
did you say to him?"  
  
p"I asked him why he was sorry. If it was for the kissing or the fact that he  
left."  
  
p"Well, what did he say?"  
  
p"Nothing. I hung up on him."  
  
pJen rolled her eyes, "You know...your temper is going to get you into deep  
trouble one of these days."  
  
pJoey wiped her face, "It already has."  
  
p"Maybe you need to start thinking of ways to fix this."  
  
pJoey looked up at her quickly, a scowl quickly forming, "Why should I try to  
fix this? I'm not the one who left. He did. He ran out of here after he innitated  
the kiss in the first place. The only thing I will appologize for is for blowing up at  
him...but other than that...I will not say 'I'm sorry'."  
  
pJen nodded her head, "Way to compromise there, Jo. You have to talk to him.   
If you don't, you could permanetly ruin things between you. And you don't want  
that, do you?"  
  
p"No. But...I'm...I'm hurting right now."  
  
p"You have an entire day today to spend thinking about this. Besides...you  
have to drive Nick and I to the airport in about an hour. So get up, get dressed,  
we'll grab some breakfast, go to the airport, and you come home and think."  
  
p"You know the worst part of the whole thing, Jen?" She shook her head and  
Joey continued, "I can still feel him. I can still feel his lips and his...his hands."  
  
p"Don't do this to yourself."  
  
p"I can't help it." New tears streamed down her face.   
  
p"Okay, Joey...you throwing a pity party for yourself is NOT helping. You  
have at least realize that if he kissed you...he wanted you. Don't you see that. So  
whatever happened after that, you can at least know that for those seconds he was  
kissing you...you were what he wanted."  
  
pJoey wiped her face and looked at her smiling friend. "You're right. You are  
so right."  
  
p"I know."  
  
p"Don't let this go to your head though."  
  
p"Oh...of course not."  
  
pJen hugged Joey again, then left her friend in her bedroom. Joey looked over  
at the large window next to her dresser. She climbed out of her bed and took a  
peak out, not expecting what she saw.   
  
pPacey.  
  
phr  
center  
To Be Continued...  
/center 


	10. Chapter 10~Let's Wait A While

New Life   
Part 10~Let's Wait Awhile  
  
There's something I want to tell youbr  
There's something I think that you should knowbr  
It's not that I shouldn't really love youbr  
Let's take it slowbr  
br  
When we get to know each otherbr  
And we're both feeling much strongerbr  
Then let's try to talk it overbr  
Let's wait awhile longerbr  
br  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Before it's too latebr  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Before we go too farbr  
br  
Remember that special nightbr  
When all of the stars were shining brightbr  
We made our first endeavorbr  
to stay togetherbr  
br  
We made our very first promisebr  
To love, to share, and be real be honestbr  
But on that very first nightbr  
It wasn't quite rightbr  
br  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Before it's too latebr  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Our love will be greatbr  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Before we go too farbr  
br  
I didn't really know not to let all my feelings showbr  
To save some for later so our love can be greater You said you wouldbr  
Always love mebr  
Remember I said the same thing, too br  
You don't have to be frightened,br  
With my lovebr  
br  
Because, I'll never give up on youbr  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Ah well before it's too latebr  
You know can't rush love, lovebr  
br  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Before it's too latebr  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Our love will be greatbr  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Before we go too far, oohbr  
br  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Before it's too latebr  
Let's wait awhilebr  
Our love will be greatbr  
Let's wait awhile br  
Before we go too far...br  
br  
I promise, I'll be worth the wait br  
~Let's Wait Awhile  
~Janet Jackson  
  
pPacey knocked on the door and Nick let him in. "Do you sleep?"  
  
pPacey looked at him oddly, "What?"  
  
p"You're just always here early and leave late. Just wondering if you ever sleep," he  
said, trying to hide his laugh.  
  
pPacey offered him a slight smile, "You see Joey this morning?"  
  
p"No. But Jen is up there with her right now." Nick looked at his saddened expression,  
"Are you okay?"  
  
pPacey shook his head, "I kissed Joey last night."  
  
pNick smiled, "About damn time."  
  
p"No...I kissed her and then left."  
  
p"What do you mean you left?"  
  
p"I mean...I kissed her, freaked out, then left."  
  
pNick's smile left his face. That would explain why Jen thought she heard Joey crying.   
If that was the case, it would explain why he was here this morning looking like someone  
had killed his dog.  
  
p"And now you're here this morning to explain things?"  
  
p"To try to at least." Pacey sighed, "As a shrink...do you have any advice?"  
  
pHe nodded, "Yeah. Be honest with her. And let her down easy..."  
  
p"How did you...?"  
  
p"Please, I don't paid the amount I do to not know..."  
  
p"Yeah...I don't want to hurt her. She's been let down enough and..."  
  
P"But you can't string her along and let her think there is something there when you  
obviously are not ready for that."  
  
pPacey sat on the couch. "I really confused here, Nick. I loved my wife. She was  
everything to me....she was my universe. And Joey...I don't even know how I feel about  
her."  
  
p"What possessed you to kiss her?"  
  
P"I wanted her. But there is a difference between wanting and loving...and I'm not sure  
I can ever love Joey like I loved Veronica."  
  
p"You never love two people the same. I just don't think that is ever possible. But I  
do think that a person is capable of loving two people in the same amount, just different  
ways. Make any sense?"  
  
pPacey nodded. He looked towards the stairs, "So you haven't seen her this morning?"  
  
p"Nope."  
  
pHe sighed and stood from where he was sitting. He looked at Nick, then made his  
way to the stairs, "Wish me luck."  
  
P"Good luck."  
  
pPacey made his way up the stairs and Jen stopped him in the hall way, pulling him into  
the bedroom she and Nick were staying in. "You sure you want to do that?"  
  
p"Don't I? I have to explain things. I can't run the risk of losing her."  
  
p"You aren't going to lose her Pacey."  
  
p"Why do I get the feeling that you know something I don't."  
  
P"All I'm saying is...don't give up hope if she throws you out of that room. As we both  
know...Joey tends to act before she can think. Like someone else we both know."  
  
p"Is she okay?"  
  
pJen nods, "But I'm telling you, if she is mean or hateful, don't hold it against her. She  
needs time to think and I'm pretty sure you do too."  
  
pPacey looked at the floor, "That's all I did last night...think."  
  
P"Did you come to any conclusions?"  
  
p"A few."  
  
pJen sighed, "Good luck Pacey."  
  
pPacey nodded then walked into the hallway and to Joey's bedroom door. He knocked  
lightly and heard a muffled voice say 'come in'. He opened the door slowly to find Joey  
sitting in her chair by the window.   
  
p"Hey," he said softly.  
  
pHer eyes never left the window. He looked at her, noticing the red streaks down her  
cheeks, and she was wearing the same dress she was wearing last night. "Hey," she said  
just as gentle.  
  
p"I...I think you and I need to talk."  
  
p"Well, seeing as how you didn't take the hint when I hung up on you, you probably  
won't understand it when I throw you out, so I'm going to save myself the energy."  
  
pHe bit the inside of his lip, staring at her, nothing could have prepared me for the  
emotion he heard in her voice. "You're right, I won't. Because this has to be solved."  
  
pJoey shook her head, closing her eyes, "You can't fix this Pacey. Because you and I  
both know that it's been brewing for a while now."  
  
p"You're right it has. Which is one of the reasons why I stopped." She finally looked  
at him, her eyes meeting his, seeking out answers for why she was hurting. "Joey, you and  
I have always had a rather unusual relationship...and..."  
  
PShe turned back to the window, sighing as she spoke, "I don't care to dredge up the  
past Pacey. I've learned how to live in the present..."  
  
p"But I haven't," he said pleadingly.  
  
pShe bit her lip, and turned to look at him. She lowered her eyes to the floor, then  
back out the window. "So...explain."  
  
pPacey took a seat at the foot of her bed, two feet from her. "You and I...we've  
developed something here. I mean...I know that. I'm not stupid. It's been building up and  
it just hit a breaking point last night. All I could think about...all that was in my mind last  
night, was how much I wanted you. How much I wanted to kiss you or hold you...I  
wanted all of that. But when we started kissing...everything just left my mind. All reason,  
all thought...everything disappeared and I was left with this raw emotion that wasn't guilt  
or anger or regret...but something I couldn't describe."   
  
PHe took a breath and continued, "The thing that scared me more than anything...I  
thought of so many reason why it was right. Why being there with you like that was  
where I was supposed to be, but then I had one reason enter my head why it was wrong.   
Why I shouldn't be feeling things for you...why it just shouldn't happen."  
  
p"Veronica," she whispered.  
  
p"As crazy as it sounds...it felt like I was cheating on her. Not really...her...but the  
memory of what we had together. Then the dream came back into my head...her  
screaming at me that I never loved her...and I pulled away. That's why there was a Pacey  
sized hole in your door. It had nothing to do with you and everything to do with the fact  
that I am not over that. I don't think I will be for a while."  
  
p"But Joey..." he moved from where he was sitting on her bed to kneel by the chair she  
was sitting in. "Joey...I need you in my life. I won't deny that there is something between  
us. I haven't lied to you and I won't start now. I feel it and I know you do too...but what  
I need right now is my best friend."  
  
pJoey looked down at him. There was no way she could refuse that face. He was so  
sincere and so honest..."Can you continue being my best friend?" he asked, looking up at  
her with the blue eyes that made her weak in the knees.   
  
pShe nodded, "Can you do me a favor Pacey?"  
  
pHe nodded, "Anything."  
  
p"When you feel ready to fall in love or whatever again...let me be the first one to  
know?"  
  
PPacey looked at her, not really sure of what to say. He nodded then sat back on his  
knees. "So what now?"  
  
p"Well, I have to take Nick and Jen to the airport, then I have to go to work."  
  
pHe nodded. "Want some company with taking them to the airport?"  
  
pShe shook her head. "I just want...and need to be alone right now. I have one say to  
prepare for Noah to get back..."  
  
pHe held up his hand, "Hey..you don't have to explain it to me...I understand."  
  
p"Good."  
  
p"I...I uh...I should be going."  
  
p"Okay."  
  
pHe stood then walked to the door. He slowly turned to see her swipe away a tear,  
"Later, Jo."  
  
p"Bye Pacey."  
  
phr  
  
piNext Day/i  
  
pJoey was standing in front of the school, taping her foot impatiently. She looked  
around the scattered parents, all waiting for their children's arrival. The bus pulled around  
to the front of the school and kids began piling off of it quickly. Noah peered his blonde  
head off the bus and spotted his mother. He quickly ran to her and she lifted him in her  
arms. She hugged him and kissed his cheek, causing him to wipe it off.  
  
PJoey felt a tug on her shorts and looked down to see Samantha. "Joey...where's my  
daddy?"  
  
pJoey looked around, noticing for the first time that Pacey was no where in sight. "I  
don't know sweetie. I'm sure he'll be here in a minute," she said as she put Noah on the  
ground. Sam embraced Joey then pulled away smiling.   
  
P"So..did you two have fun?"  
  
pThe two kids nodded eagerly and began talking at the same time. "Whoa...you two,  
slow down...one at a time. Sam first."  
  
p"We got to swim in the lake. And Noah found a frog..."  
  
PJoey looked at her son, "You didn't bring it home did you?"  
  
p"No...Sam wouldn't let me."  
  
pJoey smiled, "Thank you, Sam."  
  
pThe little girl beamed then stuck her tongue out at Noah. "Sam!"  
  
pThe little girl turned to find her father standing behind them. She ran over to him  
quickly as he scooped her up into his arms and kissed her pink cheeks. "Daddy," she  
squealed in laughter.  
  
p"Oh...I missed my girl. Did you have fun?"  
  
pShe nodded then leaned into her father's ear. "I have to tell you a secret."  
  
pHe pulled away, looking at the six year old. "What's that?"  
  
pShe opened her mouth to reveal a missing tooth. "I lost my tooth."  
  
P"You sure did! Did you keep it so you could put it under you pillow and let the tooth  
fairy bring you money?"  
  
pShe nodded. Then looked over at Joey who was staring at the two. She then turned  
back to her dad. "Aren't you going to say hey to Joey?"  
  
pHe took a deep breath, "Hey Joey."  
  
p"Hey."  
  
pSam crinkled her forehead up then looked back at Pacey, "Are you sad again?"  
  
pJoey looked up at him and Sam, hearing her last question. She waited for his answer.   
She caught Pacey's eyes then diverted them back to her son.  
  
p"Not really...just disappointed."  
  
p"What does that mean?"  
  
p"It means...let down. Like...some one hurt you without their knowing it," he  
whispered into her ear.   
  
p"Who hurt you daddy?"  
  
pJoey looked up quickly, wishing she could read his mind.  
  
p"Someone."  
  
p"I'll beat 'em up," the little girl said with a smile, holding up her fists.  
  
p"Oh you will? You'll protect me?"  
  
pShe nodded, "Thank you sweetie," he said softly.  
  
p"Sam can't beat nobody up...she's a girl," Noah said with his hands on his hips.  
  
p"I can too!"  
  
p"Nah-uh...girls can't beat anybody up..."  
  
p"Noah..." Joey said warning him.  
  
P"But Mommy...girls can't."  
  
p"How do you know? Sam could beat you up," Pacey said with a smile, crouching  
down to Noah and Sam's level.  
  
pNoah was wide eyed as he stared at the little girl and her father, "No she can't. I'm a  
boy."  
  
p"But she's older than you."  
  
p"I'm bigger than her."  
  
p"Pacey, don't make him any meaner than he already is," Joey said softly.  
  
pPacey looked up at Joey, then over to Sam. "What do you say princess...you ready to  
go home?"  
  
pShe nodded, "Yeah. Bye Joey. Bye Noah."  
  
p"Bye Sam." Joey said with a smile.  
  
p"Bye Sam...Bye Pacey!" Noah screamed after them.  
  
pThe two left Joey and Noah standing in front of the school. "So...you ready to go  
home?"  
  
p"Yeah." Noah was quiet for a minute then looked back up at his mother as they  
walked to the car. "Are you mad?"  
  
pShe looked down at her sun, confused by his question. "Why would you think that?"  
  
p"Cause..."  
  
p"Cause...why?"  
  
pNoah sighed, "Cause you and Pacey looked mad at each other. And if you and Pacey  
are mad...does that mean I can't see Sam anymore?" he asked eagerly.  
  
pJoey offered him a slight smile. And crouched down to his level. "Listen to me,  
sweetie. Even if Pacey and I were mad with one another, it would not mean that you two  
could not see each other any more."  
  
p"Are you mad at Pacey?"  
  
pJoey sighed, "We'll talk about it later."  
  
p"But Mommy..."  
  
p"Nick and Jen left you a present at the house," she said, changing the subject. She did  
not feel like having this conversation with her son. Not now at least. Maybe in about ten  
years she would be able to think about it without wanting to scream. She stood back up  
and they continued walking to the car.  
  
p"What did they leave?!"  
  
P"I'm not telling you. It's a surprise."  
  
pNoah rolled his eyes, "A surprise? Can't you tell me?"  
  
p"I could...but I won't," she said as they reached the car.  
  
phr  
  
pPacey drove towards his house, Sam in the seat next to him. "Daddy?"  
  
P"Yeah Princess?"  
  
p"Who dispointed you?" making him smile at the way she said the word.  
  
p"Who disappointed me?"  
  
pShe nodded. He looked over at her, her blue eyes edging with curiosity and love for  
her father. "I did baby."  
  
p"How?"  
  
pPacey sighed, "It's a long story that I might tell you one day."  
  
pSam bit the inside of her lip, a trait she'd inherited from him, "You mean when I'm  
older?"  
  
p"Yep."  
  
p"I wish I was older."  
  
pPacey smiled, "Why is that?"  
  
p"Cause...then I could go shopping..and get money...and get a car..and..."  
  
p"Slow down there, Sam. Daddy's not ready to think about you shopping or getting a  
car."  
  
p"Can I get a boyfriend?"  
  
pPacey looked at her suddenly, "What?"  
  
pSam rolled her eyes, looking exasperated, "Daddy, you know...a boyfriend."  
  
p"No."  
  
pSam closed her mouth, and looked out the window. "Why?"  
  
p"Cause you aren't allowed to have a boyfriend until your old and gray or I'm dead."  
  
p"But Daddy...you can't die! Who will take care of me?"  
  
pPacey looked over at her, realizing that they had never had this conversation,  
"Uh...who would you want to take care of you?"  
  
p"You."  
  
p"That's not what I meant."  
  
p"If you died like mommy?" she asked softly. He nodded, then looked at her, "Joey."  
  
pPacey brow wrinkled, "You wouldn't want one of your aunts?"  
  
p"No...I'd want Joey. She's funny and she's nice to me."  
  
p"Your aunts are nice to you too."  
  
p"I know...but Joey is kind of like Mommy."  
  
pPacey is quiet as they finish the drive to the house. Sam was thinking of Joey as if she  
were her mother. He sighed as he pulled into the drive way and cut the engine. "Hey...I  
have a question for you, Sam."  
  
p"Okay."  
  
p"Do you love Joey?"  
  
p"Yup," the little girl nodded her head.  
  
p"You do?"  
  
p"Yes, Daddy."  
  
pPacey undid her seatbelt and climbed out of the car. "Do you love Joey?" she asked  
looking at him with wondering eyes. He walked around to the other side of the car, trying  
to think of something to tell her.  
  
pHe didn't know how to answer that question. Did he tell her 'Yes, but not the same  
way you do' or 'Yes, and it's growing day by day' or 'Yes, as friends'? He nodded and  
lifted her out of the car. The two walked into the house, Pacey carrying her little bag with  
him. Sam ran up to her room, then came back down.   
  
p"Sam, sweetie, come here."  
  
pShe moved to stand in front of him, where he was seated on their couch. "Uh...can  
we keep the whole Joey...love thing between you and me?"  
  
p"You mean like our secret?" she asked excitedly.  
  
p"Yeah. But that doesn't mean you can tell Joey or Noah that you have a secret."  
  
pHer smile turned into a pout, "I can't tell Noah?"  
  
pPacey shook his head, "No. This is a Daddy-Sam thing. That means it's between you  
and me. Got it kid-o?"  
  
p"Yeah. But Noah..."  
  
p"You can't tell him...okay. I don't...some things could happen that I'm not ready  
for...okay?"  
  
pShe smiled at him, "Okay Daddy."  
  
p"Okay." Sam moved to sit on the couch and picked up the remote. She turned on  
the television and started watching Scooby Doo.  
  
p"You hungry?"  
  
p"No."  
  
pHe looked at her oddly, "You're not?"  
  
p"No. We had chips on the bus."  
  
pPacey sat with his daughter as she watched television and he went over things for the  
following Monday. The first day of school. He was happy that he would be able to teach  
again. He missed it. Originally, teaching had never entered his mind, having hated high  
school with a passion. But then, he saw her. She'd had this short cropped blonde hair, her  
bangs falling into her eyes and he followed behind her, and into the education building.   
He'd lost her in the crowd, and he went in circles trying to find the blonde beauty that had  
vanished into thin air.  
  
pHe'd given up, and started to walk out the door when he'd bumped into someone and  
sent their book scattered over the floor. Pacey bent down and a finely manicured hand  
grabbed the same book. He looked up and was face to face with her. Looking into her  
green eyes, he soon found that he'd lost everything the second she smiled at him.   
  
pHe'd muttered his apologies and she smiled again. She'd asked if he was taking classes  
in education, and of course, he lied and said yes. She said she was going to become a  
nurse, but wanted to work with children, so she was taking a class. She'd asked him what  
he was taking and he'd stumbled for an answer. She smiled again. It's like she knew he  
was lying and continued to call him on it. She then turned around and walked out of the  
building and he quickly followed. He'd walked with her until she gave in and gave her  
name. Veronica Walker. She'd laughed when he told her his name...not that he hadn't  
expected her to, but she said it was a name probably fitting for an odd boy. The two soon  
found themselves having lunch, and after that, he'd refused to let her go, and she wouldn't  
let him go either.   
  
pSo, he took the same course she did, after having his schedule changed two days  
before classes. They studied together, they ate together, they became inseparable. But  
Pacey found that he did want to teach. He liked having the influence over people and  
having them actually listen to him. As he remembered back to high school how much all  
of his teachers, excluding Tamara, had bored him, he'd decided he wanted to teach high  
school. And since English was his cup of tea, he'd decided to teach it. He hated grammar,  
didn't really care for it. But Literature...he'd loved it. Poetry, novels, short stories,  
everything that went with reading something and having it take you to a new place...that  
was what he wanted to teach.   
  
pHe had quickly fit into a class room. The students taking a like to him because he  
wasn't like other teachers. He listened to them, he respected them, and he made it fun.   
Pacey had always been known as the class clown, now he could be one and not get in  
trouble for it. He was known for letting students interpret their own ideas into the plays  
and poems they read, and never told them what they thought or felt was wrong. He'd be  
the one teacher whose classroom you would walk in to and find him standing on his desk  
spouting off Hamlet or MacBeth, all the students actually paying attention. It was one of  
the things that Veronica had told him she loved about him.   
  
pHe looked over at his sleeping daughter, then up at the television. It was 11:30 and he  
was still sitting on the couch next to the little girl that he'd help create. He tossed his  
papers onto the table then smoothed down her blonde hair. He carefully lifted her and  
carried her up the stairs. She was starting to get a little heavy, and he smiled down at her  
as she snored, a trait he'd once insisted she'd inherited from her mother.   
  
pHe laid her down in the bed, and pulled off her shoes. He pulled up the sheets around  
her little body then kissed her on the forehead. He walked away but turned when he heard  
her little voice.  
  
P"Daddy?"  
  
p"Yeah?"  
  
pShe yawned, "Are you going to marry Joey?"  
  
pPacey furrowed his brow, "Go back to sleep Sam."  
  
p"But you said you loved her..." she yawned again, "so why don't you marry her?"  
  
pPacey sighed and moved back to her bed, "Maybe one day, but not any time soon."  
  
p"One day?"  
  
p"Maybe."  
  
p"Okay Daddy."  
  
pPacey looked down at her, "Why?"  
  
p"What?"  
  
p"Why do you want me to marry Joey?"  
  
p"Cause."  
  
p"Sam...why?"  
  
pShe smiled as she blinked slowly, "Cause she makes you happy."  
  
pHe bit the inside of his lip and looked at the child in the bed, her blonde hair fanned  
out around her head, "How do you know that?"  
  
p"Cause...you smile when you're with her."  
  
pPacey nodded and tucked her in, then walked out of the room, closing her door behind  
him. He moved into his bedroom and looked at the phone, leading him to wonder what  
Joey was doing right then. But Sam's question about marrying Joey popped into his head  
and he dismissed the urge to call her.   
  
pThere was no way he was ready to even think about marriage with Joey when he  
couldn't even think about anything else other than friendship. But Sam had planted the  
seed, leading him to wonder what it would be like. The interlude in her kitchen, and on  
the couch, those would occur a lot more often. He knew that he would not be able to  
keep his hands off of her. But that was lust talking. Then he'd thought about the times  
she'd just listened to him talk. She'd been there as the friend that he'd so desperately  
needed, she'd made him laugh, and restored hope that he could care about someone again.   
But he was still getting over Veronica. It had only been nine months since she's been  
gone...but that knowledge didn't stop him from feeling the way he did about Joey. He  
groaned and fell back on his bed.  
  
phr  
  
p"I'm telling you Jen. He told her someone hurt him."  
  
pJen sighed on the other line, the little drama that Pacey and Joey were living in was  
getting aggravating. "Joey...he told you why he wanted to wait...and why he left."  
  
p"I know...but he said I hurt him. How did I hurt him? Because it hurts me to talk to  
him, so I'm choosing not to? I'm sorry that hurt him, but when he left I was hurting too. I  
spent the entire night on the floor of my bedroom crying. But does he give a damn?   
Noooooooo."  
  
p"Joey...take a breath and calm down. Besides, you don't want to wake up Noah."  
  
pJoey sat on her bed, "What am I going to do?"  
  
pJen took a deep breath, "Well, the Joey Potter I know will do her best to set aside  
what happened and be the best friend she can be. No strings attached. You'll complain to  
me about having to be around him and not have him, but to him, you will be the friend he  
told you he needed. Or, that's what my best friend would do. Not so sure about the  
raging lunatic on this phone."  
  
p"It's just...going to be hard."  
  
p"Everything that's worth it always is."  
  
p"Thank you Confucius. And...your right. I know that. But...do you realize the will  
power it will take for me to be around him and not say things like 'I love you' or 'Take me  
now'?"  
  
pJen laughed, "I wouldn't advise doing that."  
  
P"I know...but...it's just...I want to be able to tell him those things..."  
  
P"And you will when he's ready. And you know Pacey, he'll do something incredibly  
stupid or romantic or both to tell you that he's ready. That's just the way the dork is and  
always has been."  
  
P"Yeah."  
  
p"Okay...I have to go to the doctor in the morning so I need to go to sleep. Joey...just  
remember, you can do it. You've been doing it for a while now...so go back to that." She  
tried to say something, "And...keep what happened on your couch in your head as  
a....preamble of things to come."  
  
P"Okay. Goodnight Jen."  
  
P"Night Joey."  
  
pShe hung up the phone and walked into her bathroom. Her bedroom door then  
squeaked and she saw Noah standing in her room, wiping his wet eyes.  
  
P"What's wrong sweetie?"  
  
p"I'm scared."  
  
P"Of what?"  
  
pShe walked to him and lifted him into her arms. He shrugged and buried his face into  
her shoulder. "Do you want to sleep in Mommie's bed?", she asked, rubbing the back of  
his head. He nodded then sniffed. She set him back on the floor and he ran and jumped  
into her bed. He snuggled under her covers and she walked back into the bathroom,  
pulling her hair into a bun. Then brushed her teeth and walked back out to find her son  
softly sleeping. She smiled.  
  
PShe laid next to him and turned off the light, rubbing his back. She was so grateful  
she had him. He was her life, her world revolved around him. So, she was going to  
dedicate her life to him and to waiting for Pacey.  
  
phr  
  
pTo Be Continued.... 


	11. Chapter 11~I Need You

centerfont size="6"New Life /fontbr  
font size="5"Part 11~I Need You/font/center  
phr width="100"  
pfont size="2To explain the reason Lance from N'Sync is in my image. That's who I  
picture when I write the character of Nick. I think of him being just that cute. :)/font  
phr width="100"  
picenter  
I don't need a lot of thingsbr  
I can get by with nothin'br  
But all the blessings life can bringbr  
I've always needed somethin'br  
br  
But I've got all I wantbr  
When it comes to lovin' youbr  
You're my only reasonbr  
You're my only truthbr  
br  
I need you like water, like breath, like rainbr  
I need you like mercy from Heaven's gatebr  
There's a freedom in your armsbr  
That carries me throughbr  
I need youbr  
br  
You're the heart that moves mebr  
To courage again, oh, yeahbr  
You're the love that rescues mebr  
When the cold winter rainsbr  
br  
And it's so amazin'br  
'Cause that's just how you arebr  
And I can't turn back nowbr  
'Cause you've brought me too farbr  
br  
I need you like water, like breath, like rainbr  
I need you like mercy from Heaven's gatebr  
There's a freedom in your armsbr  
That carries me throughbr  
I need youbr  
Oh, yes, I dobr  
br  
I need you like water, like breath, like rainbr  
I need you like mercy from Heaven's gatebr  
There's a freedom in your armsbr  
That carries me throughbr  
I need youbr  
~I Need Youbr  
~LeAnn Rimesi/center  
  
Phr width="100"  
  
pJoey walked down the hall, taking Noah to his class. He was so excited he was nearly  
running down the hallway. She grabbed his hand, keeping him from running into people.  
They made their way into the classroom and looked at the other students.   
p  
A short dark-headed woman walked up to them, smiling, "Hi, and what is your name?"  
p  
Noah smiled, "I'm Noah Potter."  
p  
"Noah Potter, I'm your teacher Amy Porter."  
p  
"NOAH!" Sam screamed as she ran up to the three, pulling Pacey with her.  
p  
The teacher looked over at the little blonde girl. "Hello, and who are you?"  
p  
"This is Sam," Noah answered agitated, as if everyone knew her.   
p  
"Samantha Witter," Pacey said with a smile.  
p  
The woman nodded and smiled, "So you two know each other?" The two children  
nodded, "Well, then you two will be sitting at the same table. How does that sound?"   
p  
Noah and Sam beamed with happiness. They looked up at their parents, only to find them  
staring at one another. Noah curled up his nose, "Momma, did you hear that? Me and Sam  
are at the same table."  
p  
She tore her eyes away from Pacey's and crouched down to his level. "That's great baby.  
Here's your backpack, and you two have fun."  
p  
Noah nodded and looked over at Sam who was taking her bag from her father. "Okay,  
Sam, you be good and don't you and Noah get into too much trouble," Pacey said smiling.  
p  
"Okay Daddy."  
p  
The two kids ran off from their parents, leaving Pacey and Joey standing with one another.  
Joey walked away first, walking out of the door. Pacey quickly followed, "Do you work  
this afternoon?"  
p  
"I don't go in until four."  
p  
"Can you do me a favor?"  
p  
She glanced over at him, "What?"  
p  
"Can you pick up Sam when you get Noah?"  
p  
She nodded. "If you watch Noah while I work."  
p  
"I can do that. What time will you get...uh be off?"  
p  
She sighed as they walked out of the building, "Pacey...we have to stop this now."  
p  
"Stop what?"  
p  
"Stop...acting like we hardly know each other. If anything we know one another too well."  
She stops walking and he does the same. "What happened the other night...it's over and  
done with and we can't change it...so let's just let it go."  
p  
He nodded, "So...what time do you get off?"  
p  
"I have to stay until 9:30. So I should be there to pick him up about ten."  
p  
Pacey nodded, "Do you want me to pick them up at your house or the Icehouse?"  
p  
"When will you be done?"  
p  
"3:30 probably."  
p  
"Icehouse."  
p  
She walked away and towards her car, "Hey Jo."  
p  
She turned and looked at him, "Yeah?"  
p  
"Thank you."  
p  
"No problem."  
p  
Joey climbed into her car, trying with all her might not to pull her hair out. It's so hard to  
be around him. All she wanted was to just wrap her arms around him and get lost in his  
kiss. She leaned her head against the steering wheel and took a few cleansing breaths.   
She looked up and saw Pacey driving out of the parking lot. She sighed then followed suit,  
leaving the parking lot of the school.  
  
phr width="100"  
  
pPacey watched as students filtered into the classroom, feeling a slight case of nerves as  
he surveyed his classroom. More girls than guys, not much has changed in Capeside. He  
took a seat on the edge of his desk as the bell rang, picking up his roll and calling out  
names.  
p  
After he finished, he took one look around then smiled. "Okay, as you already know, I am  
a new teacher at this high school, but not new to Capeside. I actually grew up here, as a  
matter of fact, my father is the retired sheriff and my brother, Doug Witter, is the new  
sheriff."  
p  
"Sorry." one of the boys sitting in the back spoke up, causing the class to laugh.  
p  
"Yeah...I used to feel that way, but he's my brother so I guess I have to tolerate him, as do  
you guys." He looked at the boy, "You are Josh Jennings right?"  
p  
The boy nodded, "Okay, Josh, tell me about yourself."  
p  
The boy crossed his arms, looking smugly at Pacey, "What do you want to know?"  
p  
"Well, what do you want to tell me?"  
p  
"Nothing."  
p  
Pacey nodded, "Okay, how about we do it this way, I ask you a question, you answer it?  
Can you do that or does it take too much effort?"  
p  
The class laughed as the jock's face turned red, "I can do that. But you have to do it too."  
p  
"Deal. Any brothers or sisters?" Pacey asked.  
p  
"Two sisters no brothers. You married?"  
p  
Pacey sighed, "Was, my wife died last semester. Any pets?"  
p  
"No...my mom is allergic to animals. Do you have any kids?"  
p  
"I have a six year old daughter named Samantha. What sports do you play?"  
p  
"Football and baseball. Why did you come back to Capeside?"  
  
p"Needed a change of scenery. Why are you so interested in my life?"  
p  
The boy smiled, "Because you are interested in mine. Why is that?"  
p  
"Because you seemed like you had something to share with the class. Speaking of sharing  
with the class, everyone get out a sheet of paper and a pen...you are going to give me a  
page describing yourself. And I want full paragraphs...not just 3 lame sentences and  
all the words are double spaced along with the lines..."  
p  
A blonde girl raised her hand, "What do you want to know about us?"  
p  
"Well, what our dear friend Josh and I were basically doing...tell me what you want to  
know...but there are restrictions...I don't want to know who you've slept with or things  
like that. Some things are better left unsaid."  
p  
The class laughed, "And if you do this right...I can guarantee that the rest of your year will  
be nothing but smooth sailing." Pacey walked around behind his desk and sat in his chair,  
"But right now I am going to tell you how I will grade everything, so you might  
want to write this down for future reference."  
phr width="100"  
p  
Joey stood outside of the school, waiting for the children to get out. The bell rang inside  
and kids instantly swarmed outside. She looked around for both Sam and Noah, then  
spotted them laughing and running out of the school.  
p  
"Noah...Sam!" Joey called. Noah ran up and embraced his mother's waist as Sam smiled  
up at her. "Did you two have fun?"  
p  
"Yeah! I colored you a picture." He said holding it out to her. She looked at the swirls of  
blues and reds creating a sort of blob in the middle of the paper.  
p  
She smiled and said, "That's beautiful Noah. What about you Miss Sam, did you have  
fun?"  
p  
The little girl nodded but looked around confused, "Where's my daddy?"  
p  
"He's going to pick you and Noah up at the Icehouse. He had to stay a little bit late. Did  
you draw a picture Sam?"  
p  
The little girl nodded and held it out to Joey. She opened it and found a picture of four  
people, "Who are those people?" she asked with a smile.  
p  
Sam smiled back and pointed one by one, "That's you and Noah and Daddy and me."  
p  
Joey smiled, "It's very beautiful sweetie." Joey took both their little hands in hers and  
crossed the street to her car. Noah let Sam have the front and sat behind his mother. They  
both seat-belted themselves in and Joey began driving away.  
p  
"Daddy was teaching today."  
p  
"Pacey's a not a teacher." Noah said loudly.  
p  
"Yes he is."  
p  
"Nu-uh. Pacey's a boy he can't be a teacher."  
p  
"He is too!"  
p  
"Noah, Pacey is a teacher, he just teaches bigger kids."  
p  
Noah raised his eye brows, "I thought only girls were teachers."  
p  
"Nope, boys too."  
p  
Noah sat back and was quiet as Joey talked to Sam about her new dance class that she  
started tomorrow. As they pulled up to the Icehouse, Noah started talking to Sam about  
what they thought they were going to do tomorrow. Joey pulled into the parking space  
and they all climbed out of the car. Joey put the two children at a booth near the counter  
so she could keep an eye on them while she was working.  
p  
Pacey came in not long after she did and Sam ran to him. "Daddy!"  
p  
Joey turned, finding Pacey holding his daughter. His blue dress shirt was un-tucked from  
his pants and the gray tie he's been wearing earlier was now gone. He was smiling gently  
at Sam, then ran his hand through Noah's blonde hair. Noah looked at him irritated  
for sending his hair in every direction, but Joey had to smile at how cute he was. Pacey  
moved to sit at the counter, letting Sam rest on his knee and helped Noah onto the stool.   
p  
"I'm here," Pacey said smiling.  
p  
"You're kidding. I thought you were just a figment of my imagination."  
p  
"Okay, so I have a habit of stating the obvious."  
p  
"No kidding."  
p  
Joey walked around the corner and lightly kissed Noah on the head. "Do you have  
everything?"  
p  
"Yes. When will you come get me?"  
p  
"I should be there to get you around ten...you will hopefully be asleep."  
p  
Noah shook his head, "I want to be up when you get there."  
p  
Joey smiled, "Yeah...well that's between you and Mr. Sandman."  
p  
Sam looked at her father, "Who's Mr. Sandman?"  
p  
Noah rolled his eyes, "He's the guy that puts you to sleep."  
p  
"My Daddy puts me to sleep."  
p  
Noah shook his head, "No...he is the invincible man..."  
p  
"Invisible, Noah."  
p  
"The invisible man that puts sleep dust in your eyes."  
p  
Sam looked at her father with wide eyes, "Is that true?"  
p  
Joey looked at Pacey, hoping that he would go along with it for Noah's sake, "Yeah  
sweetie. But he's a nice man, friends with Santa I think."  
p  
"Oh."  
p  
Joey smiled at the little girl as she began playing with Pacey's hand as he tickled her. The  
two of them were so cute together. Sam's innocence with Pacey's overwhelming  
masculinity just made her ache inside to be a part of them. She knew Noah felt the same  
way, looking up to Pacey as if he were his own father. God knows he would have been a  
better one than Dawson. She looked down at her son and noticed him staring at his small  
hands.  
p  
"What's wrong?" she asked softly.  
p  
He looked up at her, "Where's my Daddy?"  
p  
Pacey stopped tickling Sam and looked from Noah to Joey. "Uh...Noah, we talked about  
this already."  
p  
"I know...but Sam has a Daddy, I just wanted to know where mine was."  
p  
Joey took a seat next to her son then looked over at Pacey, needing something from him,  
but not really knowing what. "Noah...do you remember your daddy?"  
p  
The little boy shook his head, "Okay, well, uh...your daddy made the decision that he  
didn't want to be with us anymore...."  
p  
"Why?"  
p  
She bit her lip, trying to figure out the right words to explain to her son that he'd found  
another woman that he wanted to be with more than his own wife and son. "Well, he  
wasn't ready to grow up and take responsibility for you or me."  
p  
"What's 'sponsibility?" Sam asked.  
p  
Pacey leaned in to her ear, "I'll tell you later okay?" The little girl nodded.  
p  
"He left?" Sam asked.  
p  
"Yes."  
p  
"Why?"  
p  
Joey heaved a heavy sigh, "Because he was selfish..."  
p  
"You mean like when I won't share my toys with Sam?"  
p  
Joey thought for a minute, "Yeah...I guess."  
p  
"Oh..."  
p  
Joey smiled at him, she was happy that he was interested in the man who had a help in  
creating him, but she never wanted Dawson near Noah. He was too special to have  
Dawson come in and ruin everything she'd worked so hard on creating for her and her son.  
p  
"But hey, little man, you and I, we're doing okay...aren't we?"  
p  
"Yeah."  
p  
"I mean, if you need something you have me and I will usually do anything to give it  
to you don't I?"  
p  
Noah nodded, "And now we have Pacey and Sam!" Noah exclaimed.  
p  
Joey's eyes met Pacey's as he spoke, "Yep, now you have us."  
p  
"Good. I like you." Noah said laughing when Pacey started tickling him.  
p  
Sam was laughing as Pacey resumed tickling her with his other hand. Joey watched them  
intently. Seeing Pacey with her son and his daughter was sending waves through her body  
that she hadn't felt in a very long time. She left them at the counter and walked around to  
the kitchen, walking inside and leaning against the wall. She took a shaky breath and  
buried her face in her hands, trying with all her might not to cry.  
p  
When she opened her eyes she found Seth staring at her, "You okay?"  
p  
"No...but I will be. Noah just asked me about Dawson."  
p  
"Ouch."  
p  
"Yeah. How do you tell a five year old that his father chose a red head over his son and  
wife?"  
p  
Seth was quiet, "I don't imagine that could be too easy."  
p  
"It's not."  
p  
Seth turned back to the stove, "So who will be watching little Noah tonight?"  
p  
"Pacey."  
p  
Seth nodded knowingly.  
p  
"What was that about?" Joey asked.  
p  
"What?"  
p  
"That nod."  
p  
"Nothing."  
p  
"Seth."  
p  
Seth turned to look at her again, "Nothing, it's just that you seem to have  
developed....something for Pacey Witter."  
p  
"Not developed. Fell."  
p  
"You fell in love with Pacey?"  
p  
"Yep...and the impact hit me hard."  
p  
Seth nodded, "I can't believe you just admitted that."  
p  
"Why deny it? What good will it do me?"  
p  
Seth laughed, "None."  
p  
"My point exactly. I better get back out there."  
p  
Seth smiled, "Don't want to keep the lover boy waiting."  
p  
Joey turned to him and narrowed her eyes. She put her hands on her hips, "You should  
feel damn lucky that I do not fire you."  
p  
He nodded and chuckled as she walked back out to the three of them. Pacey was now  
standing with Sam propped on his hip and Noah standing next to him holding his bookbag.  
p  
Joey leaned against the counter and crooked her finger at Noah. He climbed up on the  
stool and sat at the counter. "Now, you behave for Pacey."  
p  
"I will."  
p  
"Okay. Give me a kiss."  
p  
Noah looked horrified, "Do I have to?"  
p  
"Yes."  
p  
"But mom!"  
p  
Joey's look told him to stop arguing with her now, and he leaned in and gave her a quick  
kiss on the cheek. He then climbed off the stool and walked beside Pacey. Pacey waved  
back at her and Joey turned around and began waiting on a customer.  
phr width="100"  
  
p  
The night wore on slowly, and all Joey wanted was to leave, go get her son, put him to  
bed, and crawl into a hot bath and soak away the worries of the day. But that dream  
looked a little far off.   
p  
She walked back to the counter and began making a drink for the man across the room.  
Then she heard it. The voice she'd wanted to forget years ago.   
p  
"Joey."  
p  
She turned, coming face to face with Dawson. Her shoulders slumped and her expression  
became one of loathing.  
p  
"What the hell are you doing here?" she snapped.  
p  
Dawson sighed, running his hands through his blonde hair, "I came to talk to you."  
p  
She let out an agitated breath, "After all this time, you come to see me now? Do you take  
some sort of pleasure out of making my life miserable?"  
p  
"Joey can you stop being a bitch for five minutes and listen to me?"  
p  
Joey shook her head, "I made it very clear that I never wanted to see you again. Now if  
you need me to repeat any of that conversation, I can. And this time I'm not in shock and  
can kick your ass if need be."  
p  
"Joey...please. Five minutes, that's all I'm asking."  
p  
Joey sighed, five minutes was all he wanted. What about what she wanted? She never  
wanted to see him again. She never wanted to hear his name again, but there he was.  
Sitting on the stool in front of her, and all she wanted to do was throw up. All the past  
aggression and anger was coming back in full force. But maybe she needed this to  
add the last nail in the coffin of Dawson and Joey.   
p  
She took the drink over to the man at the table, then walked back over to Dawson. She  
stood behind the counter and folded her arms over her chest. "What do you want  
Dawson?"  
p  
He looked down at his hands, "I want to talk to you...about Noah."  
p  
Joey stiffened. "What about him?"  
p  
"I want to see him."  
p  
Joey shook her head, "Over my dead body."  
p  
"Joey..."  
p  
"No! You threw your family away, Dawson, and that means any chance of you getting to  
see or be with your son."  
p  
"That's right, Joey. My son. I had a hand in creating him..."  
p  
"But I raised him, Dawson. I'm the one that was up with him when he had colds. I was the  
one that went to his first t-ball game. I was the one that put the band aids on his cuts, not  
you. You haven't been a father to him since he was born, why would you want to now?"  
p  
Dawson took a deep breath, "Because I want to see what I threw away. Look, I know I  
hurt you, and I have no right to ask this, but please Joey. I just want to see him...talk to  
him." She shook her head again, "Does he not ever ask about me? Doesn't he wonder who  
I am or anything? Or did you tell him I was dead?"  
p  
"I wish I had," she said softly. "Why after all this time Dawson?"  
p  
He took a breath, "Sofia was pregnant...well....she lost the baby and it got me to thinking  
about Noah. I remember him taking his first steps and all of that stuff..."  
p  
"I'm surprised, you were a little busy with her when he was doing all those things."  
p  
"I want him to at least know I exist. I want him to know that I am his father."  
p  
"You may have had a hand in creating him, but you are by no means a father to Noah.  
You aren't anything to him in my book."  
p  
"I know I hurt you. I know that I had a hand in holding you back...but you have to believe  
me when I say that I never meant to hurt you."  
p  
Joey sighed, "Dawson, my life was bordering on perfect, save for a minor complication,  
and you chose now to come back into my life. Into Noah's life."  
p  
"Please Joey."  
p  
She sighed. "I'll think about it."  
p  
He smiled, "Thank you."  
p  
"Leave," she said softly.  
p  
He climbed off the stool then turned and left the restaurant. Of all the people she expected  
to see tonight, it was not Dawson. She looked up at the ceiling, "Thank you God for  
making my life more complicated than it already is."  
phr width="100"  
  
p  
She walked up to Pacey's front door, knocking softly. He opened it, wearing a gray t-shirt  
and dark blue jeans. He had a pain of thin frame glasses on the tip of his nose, his hair was  
tousled, and his eyes were a stormy blue.  
p  
"Hey."  
p  
"Hey," she said softly.  
p  
Just seeing him made her want to be in his arms the entire night and forget that she ever  
saw Dawson. He stepped aside and she walked in, seeing Noah sleeping on the couch.   
p  
"How long has he been sleeping?"  
p  
"About an hour and a half."  
p  
"Oh."  
p  
Pacey looked at her, noticing something strange about her, "Are you okay?"  
p  
"No."  
p  
"What's the matter?"  
p  
Joey closed her eyes, trying to fight off the tears, then opened her eyes again, "Dawson  
came by the Icehouse tonight."  
p  
Pacey stood there, not sure of what to say. "What did he want?"  
p  
"To see Noah. I don't want to let him, Pacey," she said as a tear slipped down her face.  
p  
Pacey put his arm around her shoulders and led her into the kitchen. She took a seat at the  
table as Pacey set a cup of tea in front of her. "Pacey, I don't want this."  
p  
"Drink it."  
p  
She took a sip as he sat next to her, "So what are you going to do?" he asked.  
p  
"I don't know. Part of me is telling me not to let him see Dawson. I mean, he made his  
choice and it was not his family. Then another part is saying that Dawson is his father, and  
that he has a right to see him. What should I do?"  
p  
Pacey shook his head, removing the glasses, "He really said he wanted to see Noah  
again?"  
p  
"Yeah. He has a lot of nerve huh?"  
p  
Pacey wanted to punch his face in. All Dawson had ever done was hurt Joey, and he was  
doing it again. This time pulling her in half by a stupid decision that she shouldn't have to  
make. Dawson was a selfish person and it made him sick to think that he's hurting Joey.  
p  
"Is there anything I can do?"  
p  
Joey shook her head, "No." She stood and walked over to the couch, "I better get him  
home."  
p  
Pacey walked over to her, "Joey, you know all you have to do is ask...and I will do  
anything I can, right?"  
p  
Joey nodded, smiling, "I know Pacey. Thank you."   
p  
Joey lifted Noah, then adjusted him in her arms. Pacey took him from her and she stared at  
him. "What are you doing?"  
p  
"It's a lot easier for me to carry dead weight than you," he said logically. "Now, open the  
door and let me help you, for once."  
p  
She bit her lip and opened the door. Pacey followed her out to the car and put Noah in the  
front seat. Joey buckled him in the seat then turned back to Pacey. They were so close, she  
could feel his breath on her face. The sweet smell of his aftershave lingered  
around her. Pacey leaned in slowly and Joey felt her entire body yearning for his kiss.  
p  
Noah moaned, causing both of them to pull away from one another. Joey and Pacey  
looked at him as he leaned his head over, drifting farther into sleep. Joey then turned back  
to Pacey and met his blue eyes. He hugged her, feeling her tense at first, then relax in his  
embrace. She molded to his body, resting her head on his shoulder, feeling his hands  
stroke her back.  
p  
Pacey sighed, "Joey, I know I'm confused right now, but I am here if you need me. All you  
have to do is say the word."  
p  
Joey smiled, running her fingers along the hairs at the back of his neck. "I know, thank  
you, Pacey."  
p  
Pacey kissed her forehead, then released her. Joey walked around to the other side of the  
car, and pulled out of his drive way. He stood there, then waved as she drove away.  
p  
"I can guarantee you Joey, you will be the first person I let know I'm ready," he said into  
the crisp night air.  
pcenter  
To Be Continued  
/center 


	12. Chapter 12~Too Late

center  
PI just want to take you away from everyone br  
And keep you stashed under my pillow br  
And then I'd take you out simply for my own pleasure br  
And wear you when the occasions special br  
Then I'd put you on like a diamond br  
So I can sparkle and be the envy of my friends br  
I'd proudly hold the leash that I'd have you on br  
So you can't stray and follow me around all day br  
br  
It's too late now br  
I don't think it can fade br  
It's too real now br  
Fulfillment just adds fuel to the blaze br  
br  
Compulsion has stained me br  
I'm nervously cradling our young love, without known limits love br  
Like a butterfly cupped in my hands br  
I peek in to see beauty trapped br  
Confined it flutters br  
Then it leaves behind colorful dust br  
To remind me of the special times we've spent br  
But of course it has to leave my clutch br  
But enough's never enough to make a dent br  
br  
It's too late now br  
I don't think it can fade br  
It's too real now br  
Fulfillment just adds fuel to the blaze br  
br  
And in time it will end br  
And there really isn't hope for the two of us br  
But right now I give in... br  
br  
It's too late now br  
I don't think it can fade br  
It's too real now br  
Fulfillment just adds fuel to the blaze br  
~Too Latebr  
~No Doubtbr  
/center  
  
  
phr width="100"  
  
pPacey typed away on his computer, making out the test he was going to give to his  
students next week. The class was pretty quiet, a few whispered words here and there,  
but other than that, they were all reading "The Monkey's Paw".   
  
pThe intercom came on in his room, "Mr. Witter?"  
  
p"Yes?"  
  
p"There's an urgent phone call for you in the office."  
  
pPacey stood up, his mind immediately racing with what could be wrong. Sam. He  
then looked at his class.  
  
p"Continue reading and I should be back in a minute."  
  
pThe students looked back and forward at one another then back at their teacher  
disappearing down the hall. He wanted to run, to find out what was so urgent that he  
needed to be called out of class for.  
  
pHe finally reached the office and quickly brought the phone to his ear. "Hello?"  
  
p"Mr. Witter?"  
  
p"Yes."  
  
P"This is Samantha's teacher Ms. Porter. I'm sorry to pull you out of class, but it's  
about your daughter."  
  
pPacey felt his heart beating wildly, "Is she okay?"  
  
p"She's not feeling very well."  
  
p"Not feeling well?"  
  
p"She's sick to her stomach. And she vomited in the class room."  
  
PShe was sick. She was fine this morning, he thought. But then she didn't look like  
she felt all that well. "Okay. I'll see if I can come get her or I might get someone else to  
come for me. Would that be okay?"  
  
p"Yes. She will be in the office."  
  
P"Okay."  
  
P"Good-bye."  
  
P"Bye."  
  
pPacey hung up the phone. The secretary looked at him, "Is everything okay?"  
  
P"My daughter is sick and I might have to leave to go get her."  
  
p"If you have to, we could get someone to cover your classes for you."  
  
PHe nodded his head, then picked up the phone. He dialed her number without even  
thinking, knowing that she was home. "Hello?"  
  
p"Joey."  
  
P"Pacey? What's wrong?" she asked, worry lacing her tone.  
  
P"Sam's sick. Could you go get her for me, please?"  
  
pConcerned, she asked, "What's wrong with her?"  
  
P"She's sick to her stomach."  
  
P"I'll be happy to."  
  
P"Thank you. I am forever in you debt."  
  
PJoey smiled, "I'll remember you said that."  
  
p"Bye."  
  
P"Bye."  
  
PPacey hung up the phone and then walked back to his class to find Josh standing at  
the front of the class, doing an impression of him. He folded his arms over his chest and  
leaned against the doorframe.  
  
pThe girls saw him first and tried to hide their smiles. Josh then noticed Pacey standing  
in the door and the class broke out laughing more than they already were.  
  
P"You through? I was just starting to think you were funny," Pacey said smirking.  
  
pJosh rolled his eyes, "Give me a break, Mr. Witter."  
  
P"Have a seat."  
  
pJosh moved back to his seat, turning six shades of red. "So did you finish reading the  
story?"  
  
PSeveral of them nodded. Chelsea, the girl on the front, raised her hand, "Mr. Witter?"  
  
P"Yes."  
  
pShe smiled, "My mom said she knows you."  
  
P"And who is your mom?"  
  
p"Well she used to be Abby Morgan..."  
  
p"Your mom is Abby?"  
  
p"You knew her?" she asked, raising her eye brows.  
  
P"Yes. It was kind of hard not to."  
  
p"She said you always got in trouble."  
  
pPacey nodded, then smiled, "I did. I was the Josh Jennings of my class," he said,  
looking over at the tall boy.  
  
p"What kind of stuff did you do?" one of the other girls asked.  
  
pPacey thought for a minute. Half the stuff he did was a little on the illegal side, or the  
stuff pertaining to Tamara was. "Well, let's see, I got in a fight or two, I made jokes all  
the time..."  
  
P"She said you had an affair with your teacher."  
  
pPacey smiled, "Don't believe everything you hear."  
  
PA boy in the back spoke up, "So it's not true?"  
  
pPacey shook his head, "I can assure you, it was just made up to make me look worse  
than I already did." Pacey then changed the subject, "So, who can tell me about the story  
you just read?"  
  
phr width="100"  
  
pJoey walked through the school to the office to get Sam. She walked around the  
corner and found the little girl with her knees pulled up to her chin, her skin pale. Joey  
walked over to her, and Sam dropped her knees, and her feat dangled over the edge of the  
seat.  
  
pJoey kneeled in front of her and put her hand up to her head. "Did Daddy send you?"  
  
P"Yeah. You're going to go to my house, okay?"  
  
PShe nodded, then Joey stood. "I'm here to check her out. Her father sent me."  
  
pThe woman nodded, "Are you on her list of people to check her out?"  
  
P"I don't know, why don't you check." She said irritated.  
  
PThe woman pulled up her card, "And who are you?"  
  
p"Josephine, or Joey, Potter."  
  
P"Ah...okay, you may take her home."  
  
pJoey signed the sheet then lifted Sam into her arms, as the little girl wrapped her arms  
around Joey's neck. She rested her head on Joey's shoulder as they walked out of the  
school. She put Sam in the front seat, and seat belted her in. Joey went around the other  
side and climbed into the car, and pulled out of the parking lot.  
  
pJoey drove to her house, casting glances over at the little girl next to her. "So what  
happened, Sam?"  
  
P"I got sick in class. And everybody laughed at me," she said trying not to cry. "Noah  
got mad and told them to stop laughing at me."  
  
pJoey smiled, "He did?"  
  
p"Uh-huh. And the teacher took me to the office."  
  
p"Well you will spend the rest of the day with me. Is that okay?"  
  
pThe little girl nodded. Joey looked at her overalls and noticed the large wet spots on  
her chest, legs and the top of her shirt. "And you can change into some of Noah's  
clothes."  
  
p"I'm going to wear his clothes?"  
  
p"Yes."  
  
pJoey pulled up to her house and Joey went around and picked Sam up, and carried her  
into the house. Joey carried Sam upstairs to Noah's room.  
  
p"Are you feeling any better?"  
  
PThe little girl shook her head. Joey put her on the floor and she climbed onto Noah's  
bed. Joey dug around in Noah's drawers, looking for something the little girl could wear.   
She finally came upon a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that would fit her. Joey shut Noah's  
door, then moved to the little girl.  
  
pShe helped Sam out of her overall's and shirt then helped her slip on the other clothes.   
"Do you want to go lay down in my bed or on the couch.?" Joey asked her.  
  
pSam looked thoughtful for a minute, "Where will you be?"  
  
p"I have stuff to do downstairs," Joey said thinking about writing out payroll checks,  
inwardly groaning to herself.  
  
p"Couch."  
  
pJoey smiled. "I'll fix you something to drink too, okay?"  
  
pThe little girl nodded as Joey picked up Sam's clothes from the floor and escorted the  
child downstairs. Sam curled up onto the couch and Joey draped a blanket over her. Joey  
walked into the kitchen and then into the laundry room. She put the clothes in the  
washing machine into the dryer and Sam's clothes into the washing machine. She then  
walked back into the kitchen and pulled out a cup then filled it with Pepsi.   
  
pJoey walked back into the living room and found the little girl crying. Joey moved to  
sit beside where she was laying, and set the cup down on the table next to the arm of the  
couch. Joey smoothed down Sam's hair, speaking softly, "What's the matter?"  
  
pSam wiped her nose with her hand and sat up, tears cascading down her cheeks. "I  
miss my Mommy."  
  
PJoey pulled Sam into her arms. "My Mommy always made me feel better...but she's  
not here no more."  
  
pJoey slowly rocked the little girl, smoothing down her hair, "I'm sorry you lost her."  
  
p"I want my Daddy."  
  
pJoey sighed, "Sam, your Daddy is at work, but I'm here, okay? I'm not your Mommy  
or Daddy, but I can try to make you feel better."  
  
pSam sniffled and pulled her head away from Joey's shirt. She nodded and clung on  
tighter to Joey. Joey smoothed down her light hair, trying to give her some sort of  
reassurance that she would take care of her any way she could.  
  
p"Why don't you lay back on the couch and let me get you something to drink, okay?"  
  
pSam nodded and leaned back against one of Joey's throw pillows. She pulled the  
blanket draped across the couch onto the child, then stood and walked into the kitchen.   
As she poured the Ginger Ale into the cup, the phone rang.   
  
P"Hello?"  
  
p"So did you pick her up?"  
  
pJoey smiled, "Yes. She's a little upset, but understandably so."  
  
PPacey sighed, "Do you need anything when I come get her?"  
  
pJoey thought for a minute, "Could you get Noah for me?"  
  
p"Sure."  
  
p"Thanks. But I'm going to go back to your daughter. She's not allergic to anything is  
she?"  
  
p"Like what?"  
  
p"As in medication."  
  
p"Oh...no."  
  
p"Okay...well, I'll see you later."  
  
P"Joey..."  
  
P"Yeah?"  
  
p"I really do appreciate this. More than you know."  
  
p"Pacey...don't worry about it."  
  
p"But I do...I mean...she's not your responsibility..."  
  
P"Okay...just shut up now. I love Sam...okay? Besides, you would have done it had it  
been Noah."  
  
P"True...but you didn't have to...and you saved me..."  
  
PJoey smiled, "Well, just know that I will expect you to do the same for me in the  
future."  
  
pHe laughed, "You got it Jo."  
  
p"Bye, Pacey."  
  
p"Bye."  
  
pJoey hung up the phone and walked back into the living room where he found Sam  
sleeping softly. She set the cup on the coffee table then tucked the blanket up around her  
shoulders.  
  
P"I'm not asleep," she said as her blue eyes opened.  
  
p"Then why were you faking?"  
  
PThe little girl shrugged. Joey handed her the cup and Sam took a sip. She handed the  
cup back, "Joey?"  
  
P"Yeah?" she asked as she brushed Sam's blonde hair away from her face.  
  
P"Are you going to be my new mommy?"  
  
PJoey was a little taken aback. What in the world would possess her to ask that  
question? "Sam..what makes you think that?"  
  
P"Cause...you're kind of like my mommy."  
  
P"How?" she asked softly.  
  
P"You take care of me...and Daddy. He's happier than he was. He used to cry a lot.   
But he didn't want me to know."  
  
pJoey looked at the hand that was smoothing down the girls hair, then into the blue  
eyes that almost mirrored her fathers. "Sometimes kids see things that there parents don't  
want them to, huh?"  
  
PSam nodded, "Huh?"  
  
PJoey smiled and shook her head. "But you know what Sam, who's to say what will  
happen. No one knows what the future brings...and as of right now, that's nothing that a  
five year old should worry about."  
  
p"I'm almost six."  
  
p"You are?"  
  
pShe nodded. "Uh-huh."  
  
p"Well...I still don't think that this is something that a soon to be six year old should  
worry about."  
  
p"Okay. Joey?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
p"Can I watch cartoons?"  
  
PJoey handed Sam the remote and the child began flipping through her channels. Joey  
stood then walked into the laundry room and lifted the basket of clean clothes and carried  
them into the living room. She sat on the end of the couch where Sam's feet weren't  
touching and folded her and Noah's clothes.  
  
pThe telephone rang again and Joey reached for it. "Hello?"  
  
p"Hi Joey."  
  
p"Dawson...I haven't made up my mind yet."  
  
p"You said to call you in a week. So I'm calling."  
  
p"And I'm telling you that this is hard for me to decide." Joey looked over at the little  
girl who was watching her with wide curious eyes. "Sam, I'm going in the kitchen, if you  
need anything you just let me know."  
  
p"Okay."  
  
pJoey walked into the kitchen, her back to the child in the living room. "Do you know  
how hard it is for me to make this decision, Dawson? I mean, let's not count the fact that  
you hurt me, because that wouldn't keep me from letting you see him, but the fact that for  
the last four years you haven't called, haven't sent one birthday card, or a single letter  
saying 'Hi' or anything." She sighed, "Dawson, Noah is happy. He has asked about you,  
but to him you are this figment of his imagination."  
  
P"I want to change that Joey."  
  
p"Dawson, you can't change that with one visit."  
  
P"I know...that's why...that's why I want..."  
  
P"You want what? Partial custody?"  
  
P"Something like that."  
  
p"No way."  
  
p"Joey..."  
  
p"NO! Look...I should have known...you always want more...never satisfied. I was  
actually considering this...but...I can't Dawson. I have to do what's in his best interest."  
  
pDawson sighed, "Don't you think that it would be in his best interest to let him see his  
father?"  
  
pJoey was quiet for a minute, bringing her hand up to her eyes, swiping away the tears  
that had started falling.  
  
p"I think it would be in his best interest if you never showed you face to him. I think it  
would have been in his best interest if I had never gotten involved with you."  
  
p"Joey..."  
  
P"No. He's all I have and you are talking about taking him away from me..."  
  
p"I'm not...I just think that I should be able to see him."  
  
p"I don't think so."  
  
P"Joey, please don't make me take you to court over this."  
  
P"Dawson...it will be your fault if you do."  
  
p"Damn it Joey, can't you just let me see him? If not just one time! I deserve that."  
  
pShe was quiet for a minute, "If I let you see him once, will you promise that you won't  
ask for him more than I'm willing to let you see him?"  
  
p"Joey..."  
  
p"Dawson...it won't happen unless you agree. If you want to see him more, you have  
to prove it. Take a role in his life. Remember the things you're supposed to..."  
  
p"Whatever it takes Joey. I will make you see that I can be a good father to Noah."  
  
pJoey sighed, "That will take a lot of convincing."  
  
P"Joey." Sam said, standing in the middle of the kitchen.  
  
P"What's wrong sweetie?"  
  
p"I got sick again."  
  
P"Who is that?" Dawson asked.  
  
P"Hang on Dawson." She sat the phone down and walked over to the little girl. She  
wiped off her face, then looked into the living room. "Did you manage to make it to the  
bathroom?"  
  
P"Uh huh."  
  
pJoey went to her refridgerator and took out the bottle of peptobismal and poured the  
right amount for her. She picked Sam up and put her on the counter next to the phone.   
"Drink this. It should make your tummy feel better."  
  
pThe little girl made a face as she swallowed the thick pink liquid Joey went to grab her  
cup out of the living room. Joey handed it to Sam, and she took tiny sips.  
  
p"There. Now," she sat her back on her feet, "go finish watching cartoons and I'll be  
back in there in a minute."  
  
p"Okay."  
  
pJoey watched as the child retreated into the living room, then remembered the phone.   
She picked it back up, "Dawson?"  
  
p"Yeah I'm here. Who's Sam?"  
  
p"Sam is...Sam is Pacey's daughter."  
  
P"Pacey is back?"  
  
P"A lot of things have happened since you left Dawson."  
  
p"Like you taking care of Pacey's sick child," she noted the bitterness in his voice.  
  
P"You know, what I do is my own damn business. She was sick and Pacey asked me  
to go get her from school, so I did, not that I need to explain any of my actions to you.   
We aren't married any more, remember?"  
  
pDawson sighed, "I know, Joey. And I'm sorry for getting all protective and jealous. I  
shouldn't do that."  
  
p"You're right, you shouldn't." Joey took a breath. "I'm off Saturday, and was planning  
on taking him to the park. You can come along if you want. But, let me tell him that you  
are his father."  
  
p"Okay. Thank you, Jo."  
  
P"Yeah, you better not make me regret this Dawson."  
  
P"I'll make you proud Joey."  
  
p"I doubt it."  
  
Phr  
  
pNoah looked around the crowd of kids and parents, but didn't see his mother  
anywhere. He was starting to get scared. She was never late.  
  
P"Noah," Pacey said as he reached the boy.  
  
p"Hey Pacey. Sam left school."  
  
P"I know. Your mom has her. That's why I'm here."  
  
p"Why?"  
  
P"To pick you up," He said as he lifted the boy onto his shoulders. Noah started  
laughing. "How was your day, little man."  
  
P"Okay. But I got mad."  
  
P"Why?"  
  
P"Cause...they were mean to Sam."  
  
P"Who?"  
  
p"Those mean kids."  
  
P"They were mean to my Sam?"  
  
p"Uh huh. I told them to stop."  
  
PPacey smiled, "You did? Well, it seems you were Sam's hero," he said as he pulled  
Noah off his shoulders and sat him in his car.  
  
p"What's a hero?"  
  
PPacey thought for a minute, "A hero is someone who...saves people without being  
selfish."  
  
p"I didn't save Sam."  
  
P"Yes you did."  
  
P"How?"  
  
p"You told them to stop picking on her, right?" The boy nodded, "Then you are her  
hero."  
  
p"I just did it cause they were making her cry. I don't like it when she cries."  
  
P"Me either. How about you hop into that seat and seatbelt yourself in and we can  
take you home?"  
  
P"Okay." Noah did what Pacey asked and the two were soon on their way to Joey's  
house. Pacey kept looking at the boy, noting how much he really looked like Dawson.   
Not just in the way he looked, but in the way he looked at things. He seemed fascinated  
by everything, his greenish eyes looking everywhere, never taking it all in. He  
remembered Dawson having that same curiosity when they were younger.  
  
PPacey pulled up to the house and Noah quickly climbed out of the car and raced up  
the steps and through the front door. Pacey followed behind him and found Joey and Sam  
sleeping on the couch. Noah went upstairs and put his book bag up, then came back  
downstairs and found Pacey kneeling in front of Sam, rubbing her blonde hair.  
  
PJoey's eyes fluttered open and she jumped when she saw Pacey in front of Sam.   
"Jesus, you scared me."  
  
P"I did?"  
  
p"Yeah. Where's Noah?"  
  
pThe boy walked around the couch and climbed into his mother's lap. "Right here.   
Guess what Momma."  
  
p"What?"  
  
p"Pacey said I was Sam's hero."  
  
pJoey looked over at Pacey then back at her son, "He did?"  
  
P"Uh huh."  
  
p"Good."  
  
PSam's eyes opened and she smiled when she saw her father. Pacey smiled back at her  
and her little arms wrapped around his neck. He pulled her off the couch and into his  
arms. "Are you feeling better?"  
  
PShe nodded, then looked over at Joey, "Joey gave me some medicine."  
  
P"Good. I want my little princess to feel better."  
  
P"I do."  
  
PJoey looked over at the two, "Sam, your clothes are dry if you want to put them back  
on," she said as she handed the shirt and overalls back to the child.  
  
p"Thank you, Joey."  
  
p"Welcome, Sam."  
  
pSam climbed off her father's lap and went upstairs. Noah remained in his mother's lap,  
playing with her necklace. After a few minutes, he became bored and ran up the stairs to  
find Sam.  
  
p"She wasn't a big problem was she?"  
  
p"No...not at all. After I gave her some medicine, she went to sleep..."  
  
P"And you soon followed."  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
PPacey looked at her for a minute, "We're past all the tension and stuff right?"  
  
P"Yeah."  
  
P"Then what's wrong, because I'm pretty sure that you aren't tense because I'm here."  
  
PJoey looked over at him, her heart yearning for her to throw herself in Pacey's arms,  
tell him all her problems and have him tell her that everything would be okay. "Dawson  
called me today."  
  
PThe look on his face became unreadable, "He did?"  
  
pShe nodded, "Yeah. And for some reason, I agreed to let Noah see him."  
  
p"Why?"  
  
PShe shrugged. "I don't know. I guess...I want him to be a part of Noah's life. He  
does have that right."  
  
p"I thought you were completely against that..."  
  
P"I am...I was...I don't know, Pacey. I mean, Dawson is his father. And as much as I  
don't like Dawson did to my family, he did have a hand in creating him. I can't really deny  
him the chance to see his son, can I?"  
  
P"Are you asking me as your friend or an unbiased party?"  
  
p"Let's start as the unbiased party."  
  
p"Dawson is his father, but he is not his daddy."  
  
p"I understand that..."  
  
P"Follow me here, okay Jo? Dawson does have rights to see his son. He did have a  
hand in creating him, but you, the person who cared for Noah, raised him. You are  
turning him into a fine little man, and Dawson had nothing to do with that. But on the  
other hand, he is his father...and the two will always be connected in a way. Noah will  
always ask you questions and if I know Dawson, he will badger you until you let him see  
Noah."  
  
p"I know. And I've thought of all that." She sighed, "Now, how about as a friend?"  
  
p"You should let me kick his ass."  
  
P"Pacey..." she said with a slight smile.  
  
p"No...look he hurt you. He made a choice...and it wasn't his family. Part of my family  
was taken away from me...he let his go. So for his stupidity, he shouldn't get to see  
Noah."  
  
pJoey began fidgeting with her hands, "He said he would take me to court over this,  
Pacey."  
  
PPacey suddenly looked pissed, "Do you think he would?"  
  
p"You know Dawson, he'll fight until he gets his way."  
  
p"Yeah...."  
  
P"Are you okay?"  
  
p"You mean other than the fact that I would like to break every bone in his body? Oh  
yeah, I'm fine."  
  
p"Pacey..."  
  
p"When is this going to happen."  
  
p"Saturday."  
  
p"Let me guess...when we were taking Sam and Noah to the park to play?"  
  
P"Yeah...about that..."  
  
p"Joey..."  
  
p"Look...I...I wanted it to be in a safe place, you know. And I might need someone for  
a little emotional support."  
  
pPacey smiled, "I'm there, Jo."  
  
P"Good, cause I don't think I could do this without you..."  
  
p"Well...you know you can count on me...to kick the shit out of Dawson."  
  
PJoey started laughing and Pacey soon followed.  
  
phr  
  
PJoey sat next to Pacey on the bench, looking out at the children by the swing sets.   
Her knees were pulled up to her chin as she watched Noah push Sam in the swing, the  
little girl laughing with joy.  
  
p"I'm nervous, Pacey."  
  
pHe looked over at her, "I don't doubt it."  
  
PThe week had gone by slowly, drawing out time in order to torture her more. "What  
if..."  
  
pHe looked over at her, "Don't start filling your head with 'What ifs', those will mess  
with your head."  
  
p"I know. I just wish he would hurry up, get here, and get this over with."  
  
pPacey saw him over her shoulder. He couldn't get over how much he hadn't changed.   
He still looked like the same Dawson. "Wish granted," Pacey whispered.   
  
PJoey turned to find Dawson walking towards them, and took in a deep breath. She  
stood as Pacey reached them. "Dawson."  
  
p"Hey Joey." Dawson looked at the man that Joey had been sitting beside, "Pacey?"  
  
p"Yeah."  
  
P"God, it's been...a while."  
  
p"Yeah, it has."  
  
pSam came racing up to her father and jumped in his lap, "Daddy, Noah pushed me so  
high!"  
  
P"He did?"  
  
P"Yep."  
  
pNoah soon raced up behind her. "You should have seen her Pacey...I thought she was  
going to go to the moon."  
  
pDawson watched the exchange with Pacey and his son, then soon found himself  
wishing that he could have that one day with Noah. Joey took Noah's hand and led him  
away from the other three.  
  
P"Who are you?" Sam asked, looking up at Dawson.  
  
p"I'm...I'm Dawson."  
  
p"Oh. Daddy, will you come push me on the swings?"  
  
p"Sure, sweetie."  
  
pPacey got up to follow Sam, leaving Dawson alone at the bench. Joey and Noah soon  
came back, and Joey sat on the bench in front of Noah. "Noah, this is your dad, Dawson."  
  
pNoah suddenly became very shy, "Hi."  
  
PDawson smiled, "Hi, Noah."  
  
PPacey watched as Dawson, Noah, and Joey all sat with one another and talked. This  
horrible feeling of jealousy crept into him. Seeing Dawson with Noah and Joey was not  
something that should bother him, but it did. He didn't like seeing Dawson come back  
into something that had become a home for him and his child. But Noah seemed to be  
warming up to Dawson. He was at least smiling now.  
  
pPacey stopped pushing Sam and the little girl walked around to look at her father.   
"Daddy."  
  
PHe looked down at her, her little cheeks pink from playing, "Yeah princess?"  
  
p"Who's Dawson?"  
  
P"That's Noah's daddy."  
  
P"Oh."  
  
P"What do you want to do now?"  
  
pShe shrugged. "Can we go home?"  
  
P"How are we going to go home? Joey drove, remember?"  
  
p"Oh yeah. When can Noah play with me again?"  
  
PPacey shrugged and lifted Sam into his arms. Pacey heard the familiar sound of the  
ice cream truck, "How about some ice cream, Sam?"  
  
p"Okay," she said with a wide grin.  
  
PJoey's eyes watched as Pacey walked across the park to the ice cream truck. She  
wished Pacey hadn't left.  
  
P"Why did you leave?" Noah asked.  
  
pDawson looked at the little boy, not really sure of the answer to give him, "I  
left...because I was selfish."  
  
P"Oh. Did you miss me?"  
  
PDawson smiled, "Yeah."  
  
p"Did you miss mommy?"  
  
pDawson looked over at Joey, who seemed a million miles away, "Yeah, I missed her  
too."  
  
P"We have a Pacey and a Sam."  
  
P"I know. Did you know that Pacey and I grew up together?"  
  
pNoah nodded, "He told me. Do you like GI Joe's?"  
  
pDawson smiled, "Yeah."  
  
P"I have lots of them. I have lot of cars too. Right mommy?"  
  
pJoey snapped out of it when she heard Noah say something to her, "Huh?"  
  
p"Don't I have lots of cars?"  
  
P"Tons."  
  
PNoah smiled and nodded. "How long are you going to be here?" he asked, looking  
back at Dawson.  
  
p"A long time, if that's okay with you."  
  
PNoah nodded. "Yeah!"  
  
PPacey and Sam made their way back over to the three, "Noah, Sam insisted we buy  
you an ice cream."  
  
P"Yeah. And it's brown."  
  
pNoah took the ice cream, "Oh thank you Pacey. He's not hyper enough as it is."  
  
P"Hey...blame Sam."  
  
p"I have to go...Joey, could I talk to you a minute? Bye Noah. See ya, Pacey."  
  
pJoey stood and followed Dawson, casting a backwards glance at Noah as she followed  
him.  
  
P"I want to see him again, Joey."  
  
PShe sighed, "Dawson..."  
  
p"You've done an amazing job in raising him, with no help from me, but I'm ready to  
grow up. I'm ready to take care of my son."  
  
P"I'll think about it."  
  
pDawson nodded, "That's all I ask...just think about it. And whether you know it or  
not, I do appreciate this, and I thank you for this chance."  
  
pHe leaned in a placed a kiss on her cheek, then walked away. When she walked back,  
she found Pacey sitting with Sam and Noah, the two children were talking away, but  
Pacey, was quiet. Too quiet for someone who always has something to say.  
  
phr  
  
pJoey took a seat next to Pacey on the couch, and took in a deep breath. "You've been  
quiet since we came back. What's up?"  
  
PPacey looked over at her, then back at his hands, "How did things go?"  
  
PJoey smiled, "Better than I hoped."  
  
P"Really?" he asked softly.  
  
p"Yes really. What's wrong with you?"  
  
p"Is Dawson planning on getting back into your life too?"  
  
pJoey stared at him oddly, "What?"  
  
P"Is Dawson planning on winning you back too?"  
  
P"Why would you ask that?"  
  
pPacey shook his head, "I saw him kiss you, Joey."  
  
PJoey's expression changed, from one of confusion to one of understanding. "Oh."  
  
pShe stood and walked behind the couch, "Pacey...why...why do you care?"  
  
pHe stood and followed her, "Because...you're my friend. I don't want to see you get  
hurt."  
  
p"What makes you think I'm going to get hurt?"  
  
p"He hurt you once before..."  
  
P"Yeah...but what makes you think that I will ever let him get into that position to hurt  
me like that again?"  
  
P"I.." Pacey paused, "I'm being irrational aren't I?"  
  
P"A little. And I also think you are being a little jealous."  
  
P"I...I am not!"  
  
P"Yes you are."  
  
P"So...so what if I am?"  
  
p"If you are, why are you?" she asked teasingly.  
  
p"Cause...you...you have become a part of my life...and I don't want to lose you."  
  
PJoey's voice softened, "You aren't going to lose me."  
  
p"Yeah...well, you and Noah have become this...fixture in my life...and I like having the  
both of you around."  
  
PShe smiled, "We kind of like having a Pacey and a Sam too."  
  
pPacey moved closer to her, "Then...I was just being a stupid jealous idiot, right?"  
  
P"Yeah...but you know...I kind of have a thing for stupid jealous idiots."  
  
PPacey raised his eye brows, "Oh yeah?"  
  
PJoey was suddenly closer to him. She didn't know if she'd walked there, or he'd  
walked over to her, but there they were, inches from one another. "Yeah."  
  
p"We're going to kiss again, aren't we?"  
  
P"I think so. Not going to leave this time are you?"  
  
P"Not planning on it."  
  
p"Good."  
  
PPacey's lips met hers in a soft sweet kiss. Their lips barely brushing against one  
anothers. His hand came up to cup her cheek, sweeping his thumb over the soft flesh.   
Joey's mouth opened, "Are you just teasing me?" she said softly.  
  
P"What makes you say that?" he asked, pulling away, brushing his lips over hers again.   
"Would you consider this teasing you?"  
  
pJoey let out a soft moan, his mouth coming over hers, claiming her in a much deeper  
kiss. Joey's hands found their way into his hair, running her hands through it, sending it in  
every direction. Pacey playfully tugged on her bottom lip, then releasing her when he  
heard to little voices giggling.  
  
PPacey and Joey pulled apart, finding their children watching them from the stairs.   
"You were kissing!" Noah said loudly.  
  
PSam laughed, "Yeah!"  
  
PJoey shoved her hands into her back pockets, and looked up at Pacey, he was trying  
not to laugh with them, but when he looked at Joey's face, he found himself laughing along  
with Noah and Sam, and soon Joey followed.  
  
pJoey reached up, whispering into Pacey's ear, "I'm glad they find this funny, but we  
have some things we need to talk about."  
  
pcenter  
To Be Continued  
/center  



	13. Chapter 13~I Wanna Know

pcenter  
It's amazing how you knock me off my feet, mmmbr  
Every time you come around me I get weak, oh, yeahbr  
Nobody ever made me feel this way, ohbr  
You kiss my lips and then you take my breath awaybr  
br  
(So I wanna know) I wanna know what turns you onbr  
(Hey, I'd like to know) So I can be all that and morebr  
(I'd like to know, hey) I'd like to know what makes you crybr  
(So) So I can be the one who'll always make you smilebr  
br  
Girl, he never understood what you were worth, mmm, nobr  
And he never took the time to make it work, no {You deserve more love than you  
get}br  
Baby, I'm the kind of man who shows concern, yes, I do, ohbr  
Anyway that I can please you let me learnbr  
br  
(So I wanna know) I wanna know what turns you onbr  
(I wanna know) So I can be all that and morebr  
(I'd like to know) I'd like to know what makes you crybr  
(So) So I can be the one who'll always make you smile (Make you smile, baby, oh...)br  
br  
Tell me what I gotta do to please youbr  
Baby, anything you say I'll dobr  
'Cause I only wanna make you happybr  
From the bottom of my heart, it's truebr  
br  
Tell me what I gotta do to please youbr  
Baby, anything you say I'll dobr  
'Cause I only wanna make you happybr  
From the bottom of my heart, it's truebr  
br  
I wish that I could take a journey through your mind, alrightbr  
And find emotions that you always try to hide babe, ohbr  
I do believe that there's a love you wanna share, oh, oh...br  
I'll take good care of you lady, have no fear, ohbr  
br  
(So I wanna know) I wanna know what turns you onbr  
(I wanna know) So I can be all that and morebr  
(And I'd like to know) I'd like to know what makes you crybr  
(Oh...yeah) So I can be the one who'll always make you smilebr  
(Boo, tell me, tell me)br  
br  
Tell me what I gotta do to please youbr  
Baby, anything you say I'll dobr  
'Cause I only wanna make you happybr  
From the bottom of my heart, it's truebr  
br  
Tell me what I gotta do to please youbr  
Baby, anything you say I'll dobr  
'Cause I only wanna make you happybr  
From the bottom of my heart, it's true, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahbr  
br  
I wanna know what turns you onbr  
(I'd like to know, I'd like to know, yeah) So I can be all that and morebr  
(I wanna know) I'd like to know what makes you crybr  
(So) So I can be the one who'll always make you smilebr  
br  
(I'd like to know, I want to know) I wanna know what turns you onbr  
(Tell me, girl) So I can be all that and morebr  
~I Wanna Knowbr  
~Joe/center  
  
phr  
  
pJoey walked out of Noah's room, flipping off the light as she left. Her mind was  
racing a million miles a minute trying to think of what she was going to say to Pacey while  
he sat down stairs. When the kids were at camp, they didn't have to worry about the  
consequences of what they might think about them kissing, but they'd seen all the needed  
to see tonight.  
  
pShe'd had to evade question after question from both Noah and Sam, two very young  
children who didn't even know what the word 'angst' meant or what it had to do with.   
And they definetly had no idea about the sexual frustration that a person went through  
when they wanted someone.   
  
pBut now, the two had the chance to talk, both Noah and Sam asleep in Noah's room,  
and she wasn't exactly sure what she was going to say. She knew what she wanted to say;  
she wanted to tell him that she had some how fallen completely and hopelessly in love with  
him, that she thinks about him all the time, that she never wanted to let him leave again.   
But she couldn't. Knowing Pacey, he would just want to avoid a relationship. Forget that  
it could mean happiness for them both, but keep her waiting while he tried to figure out  
his feelings for her.  
  
pSo she was trying to prepare herself for him saying that to her. That he wasn't ready.   
She'd heard that before, but that kiss, the fact that this time he didn't run...those had to be  
good signs, didn't they?  
  
pShe walked down the stairs and found him waiting patiently for her. "Well, they're  
sleeping, finally."  
  
p"Sure they aren't faking? Sam's pretty good at it."  
  
pJoey smiled, "I know, she did it to me when she was sick."  
  
pShe took a seat next to Pacey, but didn't look at him, instead at her hands. He turned  
to face her, tucking one leg under him. "You said we need to talk...and you're right, we  
do."  
  
P"Yeah. There's some pretty major stuff going on right now, between us."  
  
P"Yeah."  
  
pJoey bit her lip before she spoke again, "Did I tell you what your daughter asked me?"  
  
P"I don't know. Did you?"  
  
pShe shook her head, "She wanted to know if I was going to be her new mommy,  
Pacey."  
  
pPacey's eyes widened a little, as Joey looked up at him, "I didn't know exactly what to  
tell her."  
  
pPacey nodded, "I understand that."  
  
pJoey let out a sigh, looking at the ceiling then back at Pacey, his blue eyes burning  
holes into her. "I don't want either one of them to get hurt. I'm more worried about Sam  
and Noah getting the wrong idea than I am about anything else. I mean, Pacey, we have  
no idea what's going on here...or at least I don't. Do you?"  
  
pHe shook his head, "No. I do know...it's getting harder for me to control how I feel  
about you. I mean, I see you with Noah and Sam and this animal instinct inside me tells  
me to hold you and never let you go."  
  
pJoey smiled, "You aren't telling me anything new. When I see you playing with  
Sam...something happens to me...and I get all these...thoughts."  
  
PPacey smiled, "What kind of thoughts?" he asked as he leaned closer to her.  
  
pJoey leaned forward, looking up at him through heavy lids, "Probably the same kind  
you're getting now."  
  
p"Those are some pretty....vivid thoughts..." he said as his lips lightly pressed against  
hers.   
  
pWhen the phone rang, Joey jumped apart from Pacey. Looking at him with wide eyes,  
she reached over him for the phone, "Hello?"  
  
p"Hey, so how did it go today?"  
  
pJoey stood, phone in hand, "I'll be right back. Don't...move."  
  
pShe walked into the kitchen and put the phone back to her ear. "You have the worst  
timing in the world, do you know this?"  
  
PJen smiled, not sure of what exactly was going on, "No, do tell."  
  
p"You couldn't have waited to call me until tomorrow?"  
  
p"Sue me, I was bored. What's going on at the Potter household that I am  
interrupting?"  
  
pJoey sighed, and looked back into the living room to find Pacey staring at his hands,  
"Pacey kissed me again," she whispered.  
  
P"No shit!?"  
  
p"Jen...call me back later..."  
  
p"What? You can't just tell me that and then hang up!"  
  
P"I'll tell you later, I'll call you back when he leaves."  
  
P"What if he doesn't leave?" she asked with a smile.  
  
PJoey couldn't keep the grin from stretching across her lips, "He will. Talk to you  
later..."   
  
P"Joey wait..."  
  
p"Bye."  
  
pShe hung up the phone and took a deep breath. She walked back into the living room  
and Pacey perked up when he saw her re-enter. She sat next to him again, setting the  
phone down on the coffee table.  
  
pShe turned back to look at him, and caught his eyes in a heated gaze. She licked her  
dry lips, then felt his on hers. She hadn't felt this out of control since she was in high  
school. As his tongue invaded her mouth, she felt things inside of her explode, her body  
reacting to his searing kiss.  
  
pHe somehow managed to pull her on top of him, her knees on each side of his body as  
she straddled him. His mouth moved from hers to her long exposed neck, kissing, and  
nipping at the fevered skin. He wanted her so badly. He wanted to taste her and possess  
her, as much as he could. He wanted nothing more than to just spend the rest of the night  
with her, doing things he hadn't done in a while.  
  
pAnd then she popped into his mind. The entire day he hadn't thought about her, until  
he was here like this with Joey. He slowly pulled away from kissing her neck, and looked  
up at Joey. She felt him pull away, then looked down at Pacey. The look in his eyes told  
her everything she needed to know. But he didn't run this time. He was still there,  
looking up at her, his hands resting on her jean clad thighs.  
  
p"Pacey?"  
  
P"You didn't do anything wrong."  
  
P"Are you okay?"  
  
pPacey shook his head 'no', then rested the top of his head against her chest, closing his  
eyes as he took in a deep breath. Joey moved her hands behind his neck, stroking the  
short hairs at his nape. She placed a kiss on the top of his head and they just stayed like  
that, for what was an undetermined amount of time.  
  
p"I can't help it, Jo."  
  
P"I know, Pacey. You don't have to explain this to me. I know you miss her."  
  
pPacey looked up at her, "I'm sorry," he said sofly.  
  
P"Don't be. I understand, okay?"  
  
p"But I don't, Joey. I don't know why...why I can't be happy. I want...I want to be  
with you, I know that much. You make me happy, and I want you to be in my life...but I  
can't let go."  
  
pJoey brushed her fingers through his hair. "You need closure."  
  
p"Huh?"  
  
pJoey took a deep breath and climbed off of Pacey, one leg still resting over his lap.   
"You need to find your closure with her. She was taken away from you so quickly that  
you never got the chance to properly say good-bye."  
  
p"So, you're saying that I need to find a way to say good bye?" She nodded. "How?"  
  
p"You have to think of that on your own."  
  
p"You're a lot of help."  
  
PJoey smiled, "You want help, how's this, no kissing until you figure this out."  
  
pPacey bit the inside of his mouth, trying to control himself, wanting her the more he  
looked at her. "Are you sure?"  
  
pJoey looked at him, eye brows raised, "Pretty sure..."  
  
p"Pretty sure? Seems you are having your doubts, Ms. Potter."  
  
p"Maybe I am. But that's your fault."  
  
pHe laughed, "I can't wait to hear how this is my fault. So, do tell, Potter. How is you  
having doubts about the no kissing thing my fault?"  
  
pShe smiled, "Because I have found that it's very hard to keep my hormones in check  
when I'm around you."  
  
P"Really?" he asked smugly.  
  
P"Yes. Really. There's just something about you that makes me want to...do things to  
you."  
  
PHe smiled, "What kind of things?" She shrugged, "That's mean, Joey. You can't just  
say something like that then not tell me what you meant."  
  
PJoey furrowed her brow, "What do you think when you see me?"  
  
P"I don't think I can answer that question while I'm looking at you."  
  
PShe tilted her head, smiling, "That bad huh?"  
  
p"Yeah, they are pretty bad..." he said as he leaned in, pressing his lips right below her  
ear. "But then again, they are so very good."  
  
pShe popped his hand and he pulled away, "No," she said sternly.  
  
pPacey smiled, "I'll remember you said that."  
  
pShe smirked, "You think I can't do it don't you?"  
  
p"I think that it might be harder than you think."  
  
p"And I think you are underestimating my ability to resist you."  
  
pHe shook his head, "No, I'm not. I just know that right now, knowing the way I feel  
about you and pretty sure I know how you feel about me...I'm just thinking that this could  
be a lot harder than either one of us thinks."  
  
P"We've been doing it so far."  
  
P"And in the last two weeks we haven't been able to be around each other without  
looking at the other one as some sort of...sex object."  
  
P"But we aren't having sex Pacey. I mean, if you ask me, we aren't even close. There  
is too much going on right now to even consider moving that fast."  
  
p"I know that. You know that. I'm not so sure our bodies and our hormones are  
aware of that."  
  
p"So you're saying we know mentally that it would be best to wait, hold off on the  
kissing, groping and what not, but you're not sure our bodies will respect that and cause  
us to just pounce on the other?" Pacey nodded his head, "I'm not saying you're wrong,  
Pacey, but I've been able to control myself for this long."  
  
PHe nodded again, "Yeah, you have, but...you know I want you. You know that there  
is this thing inside of me that just makes me...want you more than even I'm aware of, and  
sometimes, it's a little hard to control."  
  
pShe smiled, "Really? Like when?"  
  
pHe thought for a minute, trying to remember the last time that he'd nearly lost his mind  
when he looked at her. The last time the very scent of her drove him mad. "I  
know...when we had dinner here, you know? That night before Jen and Nick left."  
  
p"Oh, you mean the night when you kissed me then ran out."  
  
pPacey exhaled loudly, "Damn, Joey, I appologized for that!"  
  
pShe smiled, "I know, but it's so much fun to throw in your face."  
  
PHe smiled at her, "You are an evil woman you know that?"  
  
pShe laughed, "Well aware."  
  
pPacey took a breath, "So, if there is no kissing, what are we supposed to do the rest of  
the night?"  
  
pJoey smirked, "Well...I've been thinking, maybe we could postpone this whole...no  
kissing thing until tomorrow."  
  
PHe raised his eye brows, chuckling, "You are crazy you know that?"  
  
p"Again, well aware of that," she said as she grabbed the collar of his shirt, pulling him  
to her. Their lips met again in a series of frenzied kisses that left them both yearning for  
more.   
  
pPacey let Joey push him down onto the couch, driving her tongue into his mouth as  
she repositioned her body on top of his. She was lying on top of him, her hands  
wandering over his chest, over his shoulders and into his dark hair. He pulled her tighter  
against him, his hands splayed across her back.  
  
pPacey pulled away slowly, "Just kissing right?"  
  
PJoey opened her eyes, staring into his blue ones, "Just kissing."  
  
pHe nodded, "Okay," then let his mouth find hers again.  
  
pcenter  
To Be Continued...  
/center 


	14. Chapter 14~Deep Blue

center  
I'm tired from exploring youbr  
I'm sorry you've had some scary daysbr  
I'm lucky, they had me on a leashbr  
Exposing, sometimes you frighten mebr  
br  
And it's too bad you're so sadbr  
I wish you could have had what I hadbr  
br  
I'm loathing most of your historybr  
Hesitation, but then you siphon mebr  
Your potential, well I'll indulge in thatbr  
Violent timing explains the aftermathbr  
br  
And it's too bad you're so sadbr  
I wish you could have had what I hadbr  
And it's so sad it's too bad br  
Maybe I can make you feel betterbr  
Oh maybe I'm supposed to make you feel betterbr  
br  
I want to comfort you br  
br  
Unlike you I had it easy br  
You're dark blue Stained from previous daysbr  
br  
And you're so sad br  
It's too badbr  
I wish you could have had what I hadbr  
And it's too bad you're so sad br  
Maybe I can make you feel betterbr  
br  
I'm sorrybr  
~Dark Bluebr  
~No Doubt  
/center  
  
pJoey sat in the Icehouse, trying her hardest to keep her mind concentrated on doing the books. It  
had been an entire month since she and Pacey had made their little pact, but the more she was around  
him, the more she felt him staring at her with a longing she was becoming all too familiar with.  
p  
She closed the accounting book, and laid her head onto her folded arms. She was ready to be off work.   
But she couldn't leave until Sarah came in, and she was always late. Joey sighed, she hated when she  
needed a waitress so badly that she was willing to let them do whatever they pleased just so they  
wouldn't leave her in a jam. Joey gathered her things up, the large leather bound book one of them, and  
walked out to sit in the restaurant with the customers.  
p  
About ten minutes later, the blonde girl rushed in, tying her apron around her waist at the same time.   
She put her purse behind the counter, looking at Joey with a pleading expression, hoping the older  
woman wouldn't kill her. "I am so sorry. I got stuck at school."  
p  
Joey sighed again, "It's okay, just please try to hurry. If a teacher holds you or something, fine...but  
call if you're going to be late again."  
p  
Seth walked out of the kitchen, "Joey, phone call."  
p  
Joey walked back to her office and picked up the phone, "Hello?"  
p  
"Hey."  
p  
She smiled at the sound of his voice, "Hey, I was just on my way to your house."  
p  
He was quiet for a minute, "We can't have dinner tonight."  
p  
She looked confused, "Why not?"  
p  
"Uh...Sam's...sick."  
p  
He was lying to her. She knew it. "Really? With what?"  
p  
He stumbled for answers, "Uh...her...uh...damn."  
p  
"What's going on? Why are you canceling on me?"  
p  
"I have to, okay?"  
p  
Joey was now aggravated. No it's not okay. She hadn't seen him all week due to her very hectic  
schedule and tonight was going to be her only time to see him. "Pacey..."  
p  
"Joey, you know I wouldn't cancel on you if it weren't important..."  
p  
"Tell me what's going on."  
p  
He shook his head, "I will later. I have to go. I'll talk to you later, okay?"  
p  
"Pacey..."  
p  
"Bye Joey."  
p  
"Bye."  
p  
He hung up the phone and she felt like screaming. Actually, she felt like crying her eyes out.   
Something was up and he was trying to hide it from her. She marched out of her office, picked up her  
things, and went to her car. Noah was at the baby sitters since she and Pacey had planned on going out,  
but those plans were canceled.   
p  
The plans were to originally go out to dinner, sit in front of him, and just stare at him the entire night,  
making her completely content. But those plans were canceled, and now, she was determined to find  
out why.  
phr  
  
p  
Pacey sat on the edge of the couch, his head in his hands as he rubbed his forehead. She was mad, and  
rightfully so. He'd not only lied to her, but canceled a date he'd really been looking forward to. And  
she was going to wear that red dress that clung to her every curve that he loved so much.  
p  
But, when Kathryn showed up on his doorstep, he couldn't turn her away. He sighed and leaned his  
head back. He only hoped that he could repair what had just happened on the phone. He heard a  
person coming down the stairs and turned to find Kathryn walking towards him.  
p  
She smiled weakly, "Sam seems really happy."  
p  
He nodded, "She is."  
p  
"She kept talking about these two boys though, Joey and Noah. I think she has a crush on one of  
them."  
p  
Pacey bit the inside of his mouth. "Noah would be my guess. I doubt it would be Joey."  
p  
She looked at him strangely, "Why is that?"  
p  
He smiled, "Joey is a girl."  
p  
Kathryn laughed, "Oh. So," she said as she took a seat next to him, "What's been going on with you?"  
p  
He sighed, "Been teaching, trying to keep my self occupied."  
p  
She nodded, "Good. So...what are the women like here?" she said with a smile.  
p  
"Kat, it hasn't been that long since I lost your sister..." he started but she cut him off.  
p  
"Come on, Pacey. Be honest with me. You are a very attractive man, with a very beautiful daughter,  
and happen to be a widower. Are you telling me that you don't have women knocking down your  
door?"  
p  
He thought for a minute. She did have a right to know, "Actually..." he started, but was soon cut off by  
someone knocking on his door.  
p  
He stood and went to answer it, when he opened the door, Joey pushed past him and turned on her heel.   
"Why did you lie to me?"  
p  
"Joey?"  
  
pShe didn't stop at his stunned expression, "I haven't seen you all week, and while we do have that  
pesky little pact thing, I do miss you when I'm not around you and you canceling on me tonight was  
okay, but you didn't have to lie to me if you didn't want to go out."  
p  
"Joey..."  
p  
"Let me finish. I know Sam isn't sick because I saw her this morning when I dropped Noah off at  
school, so that lie didn't work. You could have just told me the truth...'Joey, I don't want to go out with  
you now or ever'."  
p  
"Joey...breathe," he said smiling. He grabbed her shoulders and turned her so that she and Kathryn  
were looking at one another. "Joey...this is Kathryn."  
p  
Joey nodded, not really sure why she was still standing in his living room. He'd found someone else  
and he'd been keeping it a secret. "Hi."  
p  
"Kathryn, this is Joey."  
p  
She smiled, "You weren't kidding when you said Joey was a girl."  
p  
Joey felt like her world was caving in around her again. She felt the tears well up in her eyes and slid  
out of Pacey's grasp and was quickly out the door. Pacey looked at Kathryn confused the followed her  
out the door.  
p  
"Jo, where are you going."  
p  
She shook her head, "I thought you were different, Pacey."  
p  
"What are you talking about?"  
p  
"...I never thought you would hurt me like he did..."  
p  
"Joey wait a minute..."  
p  
She reached her car, but she had locked the door. She fumbled with her keys trying to get inside so she  
could leave.   
p  
"Where are you going?" he asked.  
p  
"Home."  
p  
"Did I miss something?"  
p  
She shoved him back, "You lied to me."  
p  
"I know, I'm sorry."  
p  
"Why didn't you tell me?"  
p  
Pacey sighed, "She just showed up."  
p  
"So some woman shows up at your door and it's bye bye to Joey? Nice to know."  
p  
Pacey suddenly caught on and his eyes grew wide, "No..no..no..Kathryn is not what you think?"  
p  
"Oh, so you haven't been seeing her?"  
p  
"No."  
p  
She shoved him away from her, "Quit lying to me!"  
p  
"I'm not lying."  
p  
She shook her head as the tears ran down her face, "I thought you were different from Dawson.   
I...thought...I thought wrong is what I did."  
p  
Pacey turned her around so she was facing him, and he tried to pull her into his arms, but she tried to  
push him away. He fought hard, and she finally collapsed against his body. "I'm not cheating on you,"  
he whispered. "Kathryn is Veronica's sister. She's in town to see us, and I canceled on you tonight  
because I wasn't quite ready to tell Kathryn that I had found someone."  
p  
Joey's body relaxed in his hold as she continued to cry, "Joey, I could never do anything like that to you  
or anyone else. It's just wrong. I want you to know that I will do anything to prove that to you."  
p  
"Why didn't...you..." she said as she continued to sob on his shoulder. "Why didn't you tell...me that on  
the phone?"  
p  
Pacey shook his head, "Because I'm stupid and I'm a guy. I'm a stupid guy, Joey."  
p  
She pulled her head away from him, "I'm sorry I shoved you."  
p  
He smiled, "It's okay," he said as he smoothed down her hair. "I should have been honest with you in  
the first place."  
p  
She laughed slightly, "Yeah...would have saved your sister-in-law from seeing the queen bitch herself."  
p  
Pacey laughed, "I think she was inside for most of that."  
p  
She leaned her head back on his shoulder. "I'm really sorry, Pacey."  
p  
"I know...but stop apologizing."  
p  
She pulled out of his arms, looking for her keys that she dropped on the ground. Pacey picked them up  
and handed them to her. "So, are you leaving?"  
p  
She looked down at the keys in her hand, "You did cancel our plans...so yeah."  
p  
He sighed then ran a hand through his hair, "You can...stay if you want."  
p  
She bit her lip, "Are you sure?"  
p  
He nodded, "Yeah, it's been a while since I've seen you, and I just want to be close to you right now."  
p  
"Promise me one thing."  
p  
"What's that?"  
p  
"Don't let me kiss you."  
p  
Pacey laughed, "I'll try to keep you away from me."  
p  
She smiled, "That's not what I meant...I mean...never mind."  
p  
"I know what you mean...and you have my word." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Come  
on."  
  
phr  
p  
Joey sat in Pacey's living room, staring at her hands. Kathryn had gone into the kitchen with Pacey,  
trying to get the scoop on why the woman in the room had just screamed at him.  
p  
"So...who is she?"  
p  
Pacey sighed as he pulled down a glass from a shelf. "She's...a friend. An old friend. We actually  
grew up together and when I came back to town she was the only person I knew here besides my  
family."  
p  
Kathryn looked out at her, she smiled, "She's pretty Pacey."  
p  
He turned around and caught a glimpse of Joey's profile as she picked at her nail. He sighed, "Yes, she  
is."  
p  
"So, what's the deal? Are you guys dating, cause she was a little more than upset at you for canceling  
your plans?"  
p  
Pacey looked at Kathryn, "We aren't dating...I don't think. I don't know what we are. All I know is  
that...I love being around her."  
p  
She smiled, "Good."  
p  
"She makes me happy, you know? Just talking to her and telling her about how I feel about things and  
I know I can say whatever I want to her and it never seems to make her want to just..."  
p  
"Just what?"  
p  
"It never drives her away. If anything, it brings her closer to me."  
p  
Kathryn looked down at her glass, "She knows about Ronnie, right?"  
p  
Pacey nodded, "Yeah. She's helped out a lot with Sam."  
p  
"How's that?"  
p  
"Joey...Joey lost her mom when she was younger. She suffered for years though, so Joey's experience  
with her mother's death...it seemed to drag out."  
p  
Kathryn smiled, "Are you in love with her?"  
p  
Pacey crinkled his forehead, "Who?"  
p  
Kathryn rolled her eyes, "Do I have to spell everything out for you? Joey. Are you in love with Joey?"  
p  
Pacey shrugged, "I don't know what I am."  
p  
Kathryn nodded, "I understand that."  
p  
They heard Sam come bounding down the stairs and smiled when she saw Joey. Sam ran over to her  
and jumped into her lap. "Hey Joey!"  
p  
Joey smiled, "Hey, what do you have there?"  
p  
Sam held up the pink bunny and held is out for Joey to get a better look, "This is Mr. Floppy. It's my  
Aunt Kat's."  
p  
Joey smiled, "Really." Sam nodded, "Did you see my Aunt Kat?" Joey nodded, and Sam went on,  
"She's got fun toys and stuff in her room."  
p  
Kathryn walked into the living room, "Not any more, I got rid of them Sammy."  
p  
Sam crinkled up her nose, "Don't call me that," she whined.  
p  
Kathryn and Joey smiled. Joey lifted Sam off her lap and set her on the couch. "Pacey, I have to get  
going."  
p  
Pacey walked out of the kitchen and followed Joey out of the door. Sam watched as her father  
followed Joey. "You know what, Aunt Kat?" She shook her head and sat next to the little girl, "I think  
my Daddy likes Joey."  
p  
Kat tilted her head, "And how do you know that?"  
p  
She started laughing, "Me and Noah saw them kissing."  
p  
Kat smiled, "You did." Sam nodded, "Were they kissing like your Daddy kisses you on the cheek kiss  
or were they kissing like your Daddy and Mommy used to."  
p  
Sam thought for a minute, "Kind of like Daddy and Mommy...but it was different," she said squinching  
up her nose.  
p  
"Really? How?"  
p  
Sam shrugged and began messing with the bunny's nose. Kat rubbed Sam's hair and laughed when she  
squeezed the stomach of the bunny and it began playing a song and Sam jumped.  
phr  
  
p  
Joey sighed as she leaned against her car, "I need to go get Noah."  
p  
Pacey placed a hand on each side of her, pinning her against the car, "So, how jealous were you  
earlier."  
p  
Joey blushed, "I wasn't...jealous."  
p  
Pacey laughed, "Back up Josephine Potter, you might get hit by lightning."  
p  
She smiled, "Okay, so I may have been a...little jealous."  
p  
Pacey nodded, "Yeah...more than a little. I believe you shoved me."  
p  
She sighed in frustration, "I said I was sorry."  
p  
"I don't know if I forgive you, though."  
p  
"Pacey..."  
p  
"But...there may be a way I can forgive you."  
p  
She smiled, "And how's that?"  
p  
He moved in closer, "You could kiss me."  
p  
Joey's head dropped, "Pacey..."  
p  
"You aren't really going to stick to this stupid no kissing thing are you? Cause I'd really rather you  
didn't."  
p  
She lifted her head to look at him, "I've done it for a month."  
p  
He smiled, "And how much time have we actually spent with each other over this...month?" He moved  
in to kiss her, but Joey turned her head, the kiss landing right below her ear.  
p  
"Pacey...I can't. And you know why."  
p  
He sighed and rested his head on her shoulder. Her hands went up to his hair, running through the soft  
short strands. "I hate this."  
p  
She nodded, "Me too." She took a deep breath, then pulled out of his grasp. "I should really go pick up  
Noah."  
p  
He nodded, "Yeah. Call me when you get home, okay?"  
p  
She climbed into the car, "If I think about you."  
p  
"You are an evil woman, Potter," he said as he shut the door.  
phr  
  
p  
Joey arrived home fifteen minutes later, Noah bounding into the house before her. "Noah, go upstairs  
and wait in my bathroom for me."  
p  
The phone started ringing, and she lifted it to her ear, "Hello?"  
p  
"I thought you were going to call me when you got home?" he said smiling on the other end.  
p  
She laughed and walked up the stairs. "Don't you have anyone else you can annoy?"  
p  
"No. Besides, you're my favorite person."   
p  
She walked into her bedroom and kicked off her shoes, then went into the bathroom with Noah. She  
stared at the boy, wondering how he could get so dirty in one day.  
p  
"Noah, did you roll around in the mud?"  
p  
He shook his head, "Dirt."  
p  
Joey rolled her eyes, "I take it Noah is disgustingly dirty."  
p  
"Yeah. How is it that little boys can get so dirty?" she said into the phone as she turned the water on,  
then started helping Noah get undressed, throwing his dirty clothes into the hamper. He climbed into  
the tub and the water started turning brown. "Pacey, let me call you back when he goes to bed."  
p  
"Ah...want to talk dirty on the phone and don't want your son to hear it, huh?" he said smiling.  
p  
She laughed, "I'll call you back. Bye."  
p  
"Bye."  
p  
She looked down into the tub and let the water drain out, "You my boy, are very very dirty."  
p  
Noah smiled and nodded, "Yep. Why do I have to take a bath?"  
p  
"Cause I don't want you looking like one of the Garbage Pale Kids."  
p  
Noah crinkled up his forehead, "Who are they?"  
p  
Joey shook her head and smiled, "Never mind." She picked up the clear pitcher that sat on the side of  
the tub and filled it with running water from the faucet. She leaned Noah's head back and slowly  
started pouring it over his hair. "Noah, you have dirt caked into your hair."  
p  
He smiled up at her and she smiled back, "What am I going to do with you?" she said taking his chin in  
hand. "Lean your head back again," she said as she started rubbing shampoo into his dirty blonde hair.   
She spiked it all to where it stood straight up and he giggled as it started to fall.  
p  
She finished giving him a bath, looking at the tub as he got out. She sighed, thinking about how long it  
was going to take her to get it back to looking white instead of the brown it was now. She wrapped  
Noah in a towel and carried him like a football into his bedroom, Noah giggling the entire way.   
p  
She sat him down and began drying him off. She pulled his pajama shirt on followed by his underroos  
and pajama bottoms. She toweled his hair off, then helped in him climb under the covers of his bed.   
She tucked him in, placed a kiss on his head, and left his room, turning off the light and closing the  
door, leaving it open a little bit when she left.  
p  
She went back into her room and pulled her clothes off, going back to the bathroom and turning on the  
shower into the tub. She the took the adjustable head and made sure all the dirt was gone from the  
sides and the bottom of the tub. She then put the head back on it's hook, took her clothes off, climbed  
into the tub, closed the glass door behind her and relaxed under the hot spray of water. She washed her  
hair and body, letting the steam from the shower fog up her bathroom. She finished her shower then  
climbed out, wrapping her robe around her body, and a towel around her head.  
p  
She carried the phone with her into her bedroom. She placed it on her night stand as she reached for  
her hair brush and began brushing out the tangles. She then got dressed and relaxed on her bed as she  
picked up the phone and dialed the number she knew by heart.  
p  
"Took you long enough," he said when he answered.  
p  
She smiled, "I don't know why I put up with you."  
p  
He smiled on the other end, "I'm irresistable to women."  
p  
"Oh, is that it? Well, that's answers everything, doesn't it?"  
p  
"Do I sense sarcasm, Josephine?"  
p  
"Do you? And don't call me that."  
p  
Pacey rolled his eyes, "Why does that name bother you so much? I happen to think it's beautiful."  
p  
"You would."  
p  
"No...it is. Just like you."  
p  
It was Joey's turn to roll her eyes, "Okay, what do you want?"  
p  
"What are you talking about?"  
p  
"The corny line, you want something."  
p  
Pacey sighed, "I believe what I want is what you are keeping me from having."  
p  
"No...that's you remember. You are the one who needs closure."  
p  
Pacey leaned back against his head board, "And why do you think I need this?"  
p  
Joey took a deep breath, "Because...you can't kiss me without thinking about her, Pacey. And I don't  
want to get to that...point in our relationship where you happen to say her name at the wrong time, and  
then I have to kill you, I get sent to prison and there is no one to raise our kids. Do you want that to  
happen?"  
p  
Pacey laughed, "Not really. I do like the thought of getting to that point though."  
p  
She smiled, "Me too."  
p  
"Think it will ever happen?"  
p  
"If you get your ass in gear."  
p  
He grinned at the thought entering his head, "I could really say something right now..."  
p  
"Keep it to yourself, please."  
p  
"Oh, but it might make you all flustered, and I love it when you get flustered."  
p  
She rolled over to lay on her stomach, "You do, do you?"  
p  
"Mmmm hmmm. Your face gets all red, you can't really talk, and your body gets all tense."  
p  
She shivered, the sound of his voice causing her body to react. "Pace...you have to stop that now."  
p  
"I didn't do anything."  
p  
"Sure you didn't."  
p  
"I didn't. I just happened to tell you what you do."  
p  
"What about what you do?" she said softly.  
p  
"What do I do?" he asked, his voice almost dropping to a whisper.  
p  
She started slowly, "You get this hazy look in your eyes, and you start chewing on the inside of your  
mouth, then you shove your hands into you pockets..."  
p  
He smiled, "You've been paying attention Jo?"  
p  
"More than you think."  
p  
Pacey cleared his throat, "You're right, we need to stop this. With the 'no kissing rule' in place, this is  
becoming too much."  
p  
"You started it."  
p  
"I know, and now I'm stopping it."  
p  
"Okay, so let's change the subject."  
p  
"Kat is very interested in your role in my and Sam's life."  
p  
"She is?" she asked, not a all surprised.  
p  
"Yeah, wants to know things like 'are we dating?' 'Am I in love with you?'..."  
p  
"What did you say?"  
p  
"I said I didn't know if we were dating..."  
p  
She shook her head, "Not to that one, the other one."  
p  
Pacey smiled, "Oh...that one. What was the question again?"  
p  
"I hate you!"  
p  
"Fine...hate me. But if you hate me you won't know what I said."  
p  
"What did you say, and don't sit there and go round and round with me..."  
p  
"Potter, take a breath. I told her...I didn't know. Because I don't. You know that." He heard her let out  
a breath, "But if it makes you feel any better, the more I'm with you the more I don't ever want you to  
leave."  
p  
She smiled, "Really?"  
p  
"Really."  
p  
"What else?"  
p  
Pacey laughed, "No...that one was for free, the next ones are going to cost you."  
p  
She started to grow aggravated, "You know, the second I think I can have a decent conversation with  
you, you start acting like a kid."  
p  
"Potter, are you frustrated?"  
p  
"Emotionally or sexually?" she said before she had time to think about what she'd just said. She  
covered her mouth, "I didn't just say that did I?"  
p  
He smiled, "I do believe so. So, which one is it? Emotionally or sexually?"  
p  
"Both."  
p  
His grin grew wider, "Really...I could probably help you out with one, but not so sure about the other."  
p  
She buried her head in her pillow. "Because of one is why the other exists."  
p  
Pacey laughed, "Potter, you crack me up."  
p  
"I'm glad you think it's funny, I have haven't had sex in two and a half years, so you can shut up now."  
p  
Pacey tried to control his laughter, "Sorry."  
p  
"Yeah, well, it's frustrating...you know? What am I saying, of course you don't. You at least had your  
wife, while I on the other hand..."  
p  
Pacey smiled, "I think I like where this conversation is going."  
p  
She rolled her eyes, "You would. But, seriously, it's very hard to be around you sometimes."  
p  
He nodded, "I know what you mean. I keep thinking that I want you so badly I can almost taste it, you  
know."  
p  
She nodded, "All too well."  
p  
Pacey smiled, "What do you say, that the when I get...closure, that you and I find someone to watch  
Sam and Noah and we spend the entire weekend in a bed somewhere and..."  
p  
She closed her eyes, "Oh please do not put that thought into my head. I will really have to stay away  
from you."  
p  
"Well, I can't have that, because as you know, I hate being away from you."  
p  
She shook her head, "Okay, I have to hang up now, or I will be banging down your door."  
p  
"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow, right?"  
p  
"Yeah. Maybe your sister-in-law can watch Sam and you and I can go out tomorrow night."  
p  
"Sounds like a plan. Goodnight, Jo."  
p  
"'Night Pace."  
p  
They hung up and Joey set the phone on her night stand. She rolled over, staring at the ceiling.   
Thinking about spending the weekend in a bed with Pacey was almost more than she could handle. She  
turned off her light and climbed underneath the sheets. This was going to be only sleepless night.  
p  
centerEnd of 14/center 


End file.
